Relationships and Romance

I'm single again cuz even though I wanted things to work with my previous boyfriend I knew he wasn't the right guy for me, so I broke up with him, and I wish I hadn't hurt him but that was definitely the right decision... so I have a date with a really lovely guy next week and I'm super excited he's just so gorgeous and lovely OMG and we have shared interests we're both creative types and both love anime and cartoons... I haven't looked forward to a date this much for a really long time he's wonderful - I'll let you all know how it goes! 🥰
🥰 🥰
 
RadFemHedonist said:
I'm single again cuz even though I wanted things to work with my previous boyfriend I knew he wasn't the right guy for me, so I broke up with him, and I wish I hadn't hurt him but that was definitely the right decision... so I have a date with a really lovely guy next week and I'm super excited he's just so gorgeous and lovely OMG and we have shared interests we're both creative types and both love anime and cartoons... I haven't looked forward to a date this much for a really long time he's wonderful - I'll let you all know how it goes! 🥰
🥰 🥰
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Me and the guy I was talking about met up last night I felt really safe with him when talking online so I invited him over and it was a really lovely night I'm super happy rn and really looking forward to seeing him again we will be meeting up soon for a proper date 🥰
🥰 🥰
 
Vashdaman said:
But on my birthday at the end of May she remember to text me at least, and I was so happy, it was the only birthday text I had got all day. I felt harsh judging her for what might just be a lack of awareness about the seriousness mental health issues, and I never wanted to lose her like that again. So I started texting her every day again, I tried to get our old banter back, and I also sent her a package of her favourite chocolates. I now realise I did far too much too soon, but I still can't comprehend the cruelty that followed.
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I'm so sorry that's really awful :( <3 I am not sure what else to say but I do wanna wish you happy birthday I'm sorry if no one else apart from her did. As you will probably know I've had mental health issues for many years myself my heart really goes out to you :( <3
 
I don't quite know what to say, @Vashdaman - other than that you are valued and that she clearly has some issues with communication and empathy. Who invests their time bullying someone else over a video call when they could be doing literally anything else?! I hope you are doing ok because no matter how you analyse it and feel critical over your own actions - being excited at hearing from her isn't a sin - she was completely out of line.

The best people to keep in your life are those who raise you up, not those who pull you down, and this girl has definitely disqualified herself by venting her bitterness at her own life (I can only assume it's coming from there) at you. Perhaps when she's older she'll realise what she threw away and regret it. Invest some time in you and the things which bring you joy. And like RadFemHedonist, I want to wish you a belated happy birthday!

R
 
I'm in a weird place these days where part of me genuinely enjoys being single but part of me rly wants to be able to open my heart to someone in the way that one does with deep mutual love in a romantic relationship. TBH while I am a kind caring person I haven't rly been able to give my heart to anyone since my previous best friend who I had that unrequited thing for who I don't even talk to anymore... I'm not sure if a romantic relationship is right for me tbh (for one I'm not super consistent with my personal hygiene due to my depression and other health issues and I don't wanna gross a partner out and have them -understandably but heartbreakingly for me- end a relationship over it) :( I dunno it's like part of me feels like I'm being sentimental and am more into the idea of a romantic relationship than the reality of one but it would be lovely to find true love with someone who's heccin' beautiful inside and out one day. I'm 33 and my birthday's soon kinda feels like there's not much chance of it now though I know that's not necessarily true. At least I have made some real progress with being kinder to myself though and that has really helped me. I also am realising more how much closeness with women feels missing from my life overall. Hope y'all are doing ok and have nice holiday plans of some description :)
 
awadama said:
Sausages are good - I hope you enjoy them! 😄

I’m cleaning my Pops and trying to make some space to fit some new ones in 😅😅
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For a second I thought you meant you were giving your dad some sort of bath... then I read the whole thing and I was clear that you meant Funko Pops XP

I'm traveling to my mum's for Xmas tomorrow and pretty stressed about it, I have tried so hard to get ready but I just feel sooo tiiiiiireeeedddd :<
 
RadFemHedonist said:
I'm in a weird place these days where part of me genuinely enjoys being single but part of me rly wants to be able to open my heart to someone in the way that one does with deep mutual love in a romantic relationship. TBH while I am a kind caring person I haven't rly been able to give my heart to anyone since my previous best friend who I had that unrequited thing for who I don't even talk to anymore... I'm not sure if a romantic relationship is right for me tbh (for one I'm not super consistent with my personal hygiene due to my depression and other health issues and I don't wanna gross a partner out and have them -understandably but heartbreakingly for me- end a relationship over it) :( I dunno it's like part of me feels like I'm being sentimental and am more into the idea of a romantic relationship than the reality of one but it would be lovely to find true love with someone who's heccin' beautiful inside and out one day. I'm 33 and my birthday's soon kinda feels like there's not much chance of it now though I know that's not necessarily true. At least I have made some real progress with being kinder to myself though and that has really helped me. I also am realising more how much closeness with women feels missing from my life overall. Hope y'all are doing ok and have nice holiday plans of some description :)
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Hope you’re doing okay too! What are your holiday plans?
 
snowintheskywithdiamonds said:
Hope you’re doing okay too! What are your holiday plans?
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Am traveling to my mum's in Devon tomorrow by train to spend Xmas and New Year's with her and will also see her elderly lodger who is a very nice lady so that will be lovely too, I am gonna go to the Xmas market with my mum on Tuesday night and other than that we'll spend time together at her home mostly apart from when she's at work :) How about you what are your holiday plans? :)
 
RadFemHedonist said:
Am traveling to my mum's in Devon tomorrow by train to spend Xmas and New Year's with her and will also see her elderly lodger who is a very nice lady so that will be lovely too, I am gonna go to the Xmas market with my mum on Tuesday night and other than that we'll spend time together at her home mostly apart from when she's at work :) How about you what are your holiday plans? :)
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That sounds lovely! I've never been to Devon but my grandmother's whole family is from there going back generations. Would love to visit some time

Very simple Christmas/NY this year, Christmas eve dinner and watching Swan Lake (just on tv, sadly not live) and then NYE will be a quiet one at home. Dinner For One (old black and white short film, not sure how popular it is here) is a family NYE tradition, with a little champagne and video calling family around the world throughout the night ☺️
 
snowintheskywithdiamonds said:
That sounds lovely! I've never been to Devon but my grandmother's whole family is from there going back generations. Would love to visit some time

Very simple Christmas/NY this year, Christmas eve dinner and watching Swan Lake (just on tv, sadly not live) and then NYE will be a quiet one at home. Dinner For One (old black and white short film, not sure how popular it is here) is a family NYE tradition, with a little champagne and video calling family around the world throughout the night ☺️
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Oh wow awesome I wonder what their positions on milk or water first in tea and cream and jam on scones are :p

I don't know that short film but am really curious about it now, I wish someone would make, like, the ultimate animated film version of Swan Lake so I could watch that... is the (I assume ballet) version on TV any good? :) That all sounds very nice and you have reminded me to email back various family members that I have heard from recently :)

Am now safe and sound at my mum's house, and feeling pretty good rly :)
 
RadFemHedonist said:
Oh wow awesome I wonder what their positions on milk or water first in tea and cream and jam on scones are :p

I don't know that short film but am really curious about it now, I wish someone would make, like, the ultimate animated film version of Swan Lake so I could watch that... is the (I assume ballet) version on TV any good? :) That all sounds very nice and you have reminded me to email back various family members that I have heard from recently :)

Am now safe and sound at my mum's house, and feeling pretty good rly :)
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Oh gosh I wish I could her but she passed away earlier this year sadly! I’m not from the UK personally so is the milk/cream thing an argument here? 😄

Yes Dinner for One is hilarious, it’s very old and in black and white but it’s worth a watch. It’s on YouTube 😊

True about Swan Lake - that would be epic actually! This version I’m watching is the Royal Opera Houses performance from 2018. They have a streaming service like Netflix where you can watch their shows like ballets and operas. I’m looking forward to watching it!
 
snowintheskywithdiamonds said:
Oh gosh I wish I could her but she passed away earlier this year sadly! I’m not from the UK personally so is the milk/cream thing an argument here? 😄

Yes Dinner for One is hilarious, it’s very old and in black and white but it’s worth a watch. It’s on YouTube 😊

True about Swan Lake - that would be epic actually! This version I’m watching is the Royal Opera Houses performance from 2018. They have a streaming service like Netflix where you can watch their shows like ballets and operas. I’m looking forward to watching it!
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There are various jokey (well, mostly, there was that tragic but brief civil war in 1992) arguments about it here yeah, I honestly couldn't care less what other people do though I do have my own routine for such things like most I suppose - a way of doing it that I default to, however my reason for doing it that way is cuz it just seems right to me - I never bothered to check how I was "supposed" to do it according to those around me first haha :)

I will watch it for sure :)

How was the ROH 2018 version in the end? :)

I went to the Xmas market with my mum and it was rly nice - we didn't buy anything apart from some groceries and I gave a bit of money to someone homeless, cuz I feel like I have quite a lot of stuff already XP We also met an amazing panto dame who was utterly fabulous! I'm glad I was with my mum for Xmas and she really loved the three presents I gave her :)

I'm feeling pretty cheerful today and have brushed my teeth and showered, brushed my hair, and I watched some nice movies and anime/cartoons with my mum while I've been staying with her, the three of us (including her really nice lodger who's an elderly woman with loads of interesting stories and insight to offer) got a bit ill during/after Xmas but it's all good no-one's dead XP This morning I have made a playlist of happy songs that I will post in the music thread and have also been working on an art piece that I'm really excited to keep going with and eventually complete :) Am returning to Brighton tomorrow, how's everyone doing? :)
 
RadFemHedonist said:
I'm in a weird place these days where part of me genuinely enjoys being single but part of me rly wants to be able to open my heart to someone in the way that one does with deep mutual love in a romantic relationship. TBH while I am a kind caring person I haven't rly been able to give my heart to anyone since my previous best friend who I had that unrequited thing for who I don't even talk to anymore... I'm not sure if a romantic relationship is right for me tbh (for one I'm not super consistent with my personal hygiene due to my depression and other health issues and I don't wanna gross a partner out and have them -understandably but heartbreakingly for me- end a relationship over it) :( I dunno it's like part of me feels like I'm being sentimental and am more into the idea of a romantic relationship than the reality of one but it would be lovely to find true love with someone who's heccin' beautiful inside and out one day. I'm 33 and my birthday's soon kinda feels like there's not much chance of it now though I know that's not necessarily true. At least I have made some real progress with being kinder to myself though and that has really helped me. I also am realising more how much closeness with women feels missing from my life overall. Hope y'all are doing ok and have nice holiday plans of some description :)
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yes it sounds like self doubt here. ultimately, none of this matters, you will meet someone that is the right person.

when they are right, they like your smell, and dont care about your mess or your age or your worries or anything else, because you are yourself and that is how it is, and there is always somebody out there for who you are now

what we have to do try to meet the person that is right, and the only way to do this is put ourselves out there in the world and maximize our opportunity to encounter a person like that. And I say a person and not "the" person the reason because there are many many of them in this wide world all experiencing their own things and lots of people in the same complex struggles as one another
 
TBH there's a guy I rly like I am pretty sure I have mentioned him here before - he used to live in my mum's county and has now moved up north and at one point he had feelings for me too but I messed it all up by going out with someone else who I didn't even rly like and he and I are still on good terms and talk online a lot but I just rly wish I hadn't screwed it up... I'm honestly really trying so so hard not to be so dysfunctional but I feel like whatever I can manage to change and better about myself will never be enough. This evening I told him that I'm still in love with him but I don't think he feels the same anymore... I don't think he'll end the friendship which is good tbf he's an understanding kind person but I feel bad cuz if he says he doesn't wanna be with me I will need to find someone else and that feels like a betrayal of my feelings for him/of him/of what he and I had. (I'm gonna respectfully ask that no-one here suggest that I get therapy cuz I really do not feel remotely safe seeking it for reasons that I won't disclose.) I guess I feel like I probably come off as rly flaky and like I can't commit to anything or anyone but there are reasons why I'm sometimes like that... I honestly am not trying to be like that and don't want to be and I did set myself a number of goals this year that I am determined to stick to cuz I want to feel a sense of accomplishment and have some achievements to look back on at the end of the year. So far I am meeting the targets I have set, which are:

4 anime episodes a day (doesn't matter if subbed or dubbed) (I'm waaay ahead on this have watched over 164 episodes so far this year! So will be focused primarily on the other three goals for the next few weeks)
1 book a week (1 manga volume counts as 1 book and audiobooks count as well)
1 film a week (strongly preferring ones I have not seen before or have only seen once and keep meaning to rewatch over old favourites)
1 completed picture a week (finishing pictures that I started before 2023 counts towards this goal, also as this goal was only decided on yesterday unlike the other 3 I am aiming for 50 completed pictures rather than 52)

Reminding myself of my goals has made me feel somewhat better tbh... I have this whole complex where I keep thinking I'm selfish for just like... wanting to live my life the way I choose to rather than forcing myself to find a relationship and have kids :( I do want a boyfriend (I def don't want kids ever) but not to the exclusion of all the other stuff I want to do and accomplish in my life like ugh I just have so many thoughts about this whole thing that I wanna get out but for now I'll just post this I think 😅
 
Eternal chibi said:
yes it sounds like self doubt here. ultimately, none of this matters, you will meet someone that is the right person.

when they are right, they like your smell, and dont care about your mess or your age or your worries or anything else, because you are yourself and that is how it is, and there is always somebody out there for who you are now

what we have to do try to meet the person that is right, and the only way to do this is put ourselves out there in the world and maximize our opportunity to encounter a person like that. And I say a person and not "the" person the reason because there are many many of them in this wide world all experiencing their own things and lots of people in the same complex struggles as one another
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Sorry I didn't mean to ignore this... thankyou for the care you put into it, it's much appreciated 🥰
 
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