Relationships and Romance

RadFemHedonist said:
Speaking as a 35 year old, it's honestly not as bad as you think, I'm actually having way more and better encounters than I did in my 20s! :)

But I totally get what you mean about how much effort you typically have to put into finding a romantic relationship, it can be very frustrating, and while I'm really glad that dating apps exist (I met most of my best friends on them), I think one of the unfortunate aspects of them is that it becomes a reason you're "not allowed" to just give up on dating and do other things, which is sad IMO, we've kind of forgotten how many different routes there are to happiness perhaps? :)
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That's kind of what I've been hoping for - my 30s should be more fun as I have a stable job and more disposable income than I did in my early to mid 20s. Your 30s are the new 20s!

I've been on Hinge in the past and that seems like one of the better dating apps in terms of the kinds of people on there and what they're looking for, so perhaps I'll try that again at some stage. I've also joined a book club recently, not to try and meet anyone romantically, but to just try and expand my social circle beyond my 4 immediate friends 😅

I think it's important not to rely solely on someone else for your happiness, I think I've made that mistake in the past. I'm definitely content and happy in where and who I am at the moment, which I think should be a positive thing for anyone that happens to come my way in the future. There's multiple routes to happiness and they all don't involve a romantic relationship - in fact, I think you have to go on some of those paths just to mature and develop yourself before you can think about letting someone else into your life in that way.

Onwards and upwards!
 
BrokenPhoenix said:
I think it's important not to rely solely on someone else for your happiness, I think I've made that mistake in the past. I'm definitely content and happy in where and who I am at the moment, which I think should be a positive thing for anyone that happens to come my way in the future. There's multiple routes to happiness and they all don't involve a romantic relationship - in fact, I think you have to go on some of those paths just to mature and develop yourself before you can think about letting someone else into your life in that way.
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Hiya, dude. I don't believe we've crossed paths in the time you've been here on AUKN.

For what it's worth coming from a random stranger on the internet, you sound like you have a very wise head on your shoulders, and a really practical outlook. I reckon those are real strengths for you.

Your posts above were really interesting to read, so I wanted to reply here, as someone who's posted in this thread in the past during some lean times. I feel like I get where you're coming from, and I think it's great that you're making little moves to broaden your horizons and open up some more opportunities for yourself. I reckon that's all you really need to do right now.

Onwards and upwards for you indeed, I hope. 🤞
 
Neil.T said:
Hiya, dude. I don't believe we've crossed paths in the time you've been here on AUKN.

For what it's worth coming from a random stranger on the internet, you sound like you have a very wise head on your shoulders, and a really practical outlook. I reckon those are real strengths for you.

Your posts above were really interesting to read, so I wanted to reply here, as someone who's posted in this thread in the past during some lean times. I feel like I get where you're coming from, and I think it's great that you're making little moves to broaden your horizons and open up some more opportunities for yourself. I reckon that's all you really need to do right now.

Onwards and upwards for you indeed, I hope. 🤞
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Hey! Thank you for the kind words.

I only started getting active on this forum late last year after I took more of an interest in physical media, so that's probably why!

For sure, I don't want to force or rush anything, one step at a time. It's just that milestone birthdays like your 30th, always make you take stock and look back on your life so far.
 
I actually have fallen for my lovely girl friend now and it's mutual! I think I just needed more time to get there but I'm really happy now, was revisiting a song I listened to a while ago when I had an unrequited crush on someone else, and I'm so glad I'm not in that place anymore :)


 
I'm really in love with my girl friend now... tbh I'm still hurting a lot from the way men have generally treated me in a sexual/romantic context... it's not surprising that one of my favourite anime is Revolutionary Girl Utena, it's always resonated with me and I watch a lot of Utena AMVs on YouTube cuz I can really understand why Utena and Anthy decide they'd rather be with each other than with men... I don't mean for this post to be some sort of man-bashing thing, I'm just sitting here crying tbh. I hope me and her will be happy, I really care about her a lot I want to bring more happiness into her life ^^
 
I wish I weren't so mentally unwell... I feel like I end up messing up relationships bcuz of my mental health issues sometimes... not only me tbf sometimes it's them or both of us but yeah... it's hard :(
 
I don't know exactly what you're going through Rad, but I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. I have plenty of iffy days where I struggle with my mental health too. In my case sometimes I find it pretty tough to even get out of my front door and in to the world, which you can probably imagine is something of an impediment, although it's not like that everyday. I hope things get better for you soon Rad, and I'm sure they will. I'm always rooting for you and always enjoy your updates to this thread, you've certainly lived a life Rad! And for someone like me who struggles sometimes with getting into the world outside, I admire a lot about you, like your positivity and resilience.
 
I'm dating a rly cute lovely guy now, only for a little while so far but I'm cautiously optimistic, he has golden retriever energy and I'm really excited about him, he's a fair bit younger than me but reasonably responsible and mature and he clearly really likes me too, we've had two dates so far, I rly hope I can see him again soon 🥰
 
Still single, trying to keep my romantic spirit alive with cute shoujo romance animes... do at least feel less like the bad stuff is all my fault which is important progress. Atm I am rewatching Cardcaptor Sakura and My Love Story!!, Takeo and Tomoyo are just too cute!! 🥰
 
Happy Pride everyone! I love you all and you matter, whether you are out or not 🥰

Also a lovely young (as in younger than me but an adult) Asian man said good morning and you're so beautiful to me on my walk today he was so sweet I love him 😭 ❤️
 
I've bonded w this rly nice younger guy and he's coming to visit me for a few days next week, I'm pretty darn excited! I dunno if it will become a romantic thing but there's clearly a real connection there he's very sincere and sweet and very cute and I really like him, might have found a friend for life at least! I have also resolved to be more optimistic and enjoy life more, and I feel better already 🥰
 
RadFemHedonist said:
I've bonded w this rly nice younger guy and he's coming to visit me for a few days next week, I'm pretty darn excited! I dunno if it will become a romantic thing but there's clearly a real connection there he's very sincere and sweet and very cute and I really like him, might have found a friend for life at least! I have also resolved to be more optimistic and enjoy life more, and I feel better already 🥰
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The guy I was talking about arrives today in a few hours!!! I'm sooo excited OMG OMG OMG 🥰
 
So, the guy who visited was rly nice and cute but smth came up (relative got injured on holiday) and he felt very worried so he stayed for a while longer but left the same day he arrived, still it was nice to meet him, I do still want a boyfriend but I really want to enjoy life anyway even when I don't have one, don't mean to sound like a broken record, I hope everyone else here is well and happy :) <3
 
I don't really have any big updates except my cute lovely friend came to visit me two nights in a row when I was feeling really down and I feel so loved 🥰
 

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It's not something I often think about. I know I probably should care more than I do since it's a big part of life however, I don't chase after these type of things. I tend to do whatever makes me happy. There's a lot of people i've encountered who are on a constant downer, some of those even make fun of me for my clear lack of interest in romance. Yet I'm happy in life, I don't try to impress people. You either are or are not impressed by me as is, I won't adapt my way of being as an attention ploy. Take it or leave it yknow?
 
KurotisticKurotica said:
It's not something I often think about. I know I probably should care more than I do since it's a big part of life however, I don't chase after these type of things. I tend to do whatever makes me happy. There's a lot of people i've encountered who are on a constant downer, some of those even make fun of me for my clear lack of interest in romance. Yet I'm happy in life, I don't try to impress people. You either are or are not impressed by me as is, I won't adapt my way of being as an attention ploy. Take it or leave it yknow?
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I'm sad a lot but I wouldn't make fun of you, I kinda wish I had your attitude when I was younger tbh 😅
 
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