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Vash!! Where ya been, man? I've missed ya! :)
Vashdaman said:
She was also asking me some slightly ambiguous questions that I couldn't really pin down, but one possible (and likely) interpretation of mine was that she was trying to check that I just simply liked her as a person rather than had romantic aspirations.
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What kind of questions, buddy? Need more detail.
 
Hey @Neil.T , thanks, missed you too! I've been just trying to get on top of my life, and of course failing, and trying again.

Well, I don't really want to get into the specifics, but upon slightly more reflection, those questions could have implied the opposite of the negative conclusion I had drawn about them in my last post. There's at least as much chance.

Right now I'm thinking I might just be upfront about my feelings the next time I see her. Being frank and honest is surely almost never the wrong course of action to take, right? Also it's not a shot in the dark, I think there's got to be at least as much chance that she feels the same way as she doesn't. If it's meant to be, it will be, surely?
 
Vashdaman said:
thanks, missed you too!
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Aw, bless. You say the nicest things! :p
Vashdaman said:
If it's meant to be, it will be, surely?
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Far be it for me to offer any kind of trumped-up advice with my precious little in the way of success, but it's staggering what can happen when two people are pushing in the same direction. One of the many, many things I've been able to take away from this thread is the thought "Wow, I wish I could have a bit more of a have-a-go attitude like Vash." I admire your courage.

So, do what you do and have a go, dude! Speaking personally, I've felt like I've had a couple of setbacks along these lines recently, to the point of wanting to just call it quits with it and save myself the stress, only to be very pleasantly surprised the next time. I shudder to think how I'd never have gotten to experience some amazing things if I'd caved in and given up. But in the end I stuck to my stubbornness! You should stick to your have-a-go attitude. :)

(You'll probably already have resolved your situation before you even read this post, I'll bet! :D)
 
Wow, I'm so glad to hear you've had some success Neil! You really deserve it. Sounds like you're doing much better than me!

But I think I've changed my mind again, I'm going to hold off for the moment and let things just continue as they have been. Because maybe things will just happen more naturally. But mainly it's because, we haven't been friends for an awfully long time yet, so maybe if I lay it all out now it will scare her away completely and I'll lose a potentially really good friend too. If we've know each other a bit longer I think she'll be less likely to be scared off like that. I don't know quite how long I'll be able to hold it in though. I hope I do the right thing.
 
Aw, thanks so much! Bless ya, Vash. I'm trying my best. :)
Vashdaman said:
Because maybe things will just happen more naturally.
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I myself have received this very piece of advice from two different people lately. Given that this advice has come from people with actual relationship experience, it must be good advice!

Yeah, I know what you mean; I haven't known the girl I like for very long either. A couple of times now I've felt like I've made missteps from trying to do too much. I've felt like I've probably blown it, only to have been very pleasantly surprised the next time I saw her. It's difficult, though, because we don't cross paths that often, so I'm trying to make the most of every opportunity. It's a delicate balancing act!
Vashdaman said:
maybe if I lay it all out now it will scare her away completely and I'll lose a potentially really good friend too.
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I sympathise with you again. In my own case, I feel like I'd rather keep things just as they are right now rather than risk taking a reckless gamble that might ruin what we've built (especially as there's a bit of an age gap there). I feel there's been genuine progress, though, like she's starting to... I don't know, warm to me? I've never seen that by this stage before!

EDIT: As of this moment, ignore literally everything I have ever written about this in this thread. I think I might need to crawl into a hole and die now. You are doing MUCH better than me, Vash.

I received a very useful and heartening piece of advice recently about not worrying too much about falling into the "friend zone", and to try making your move just when it feels most natural to do so. (There's that word natural again. :))

Sorry to drag other people's names into this, but always remember that @Demelza had known @Teapot for something like a couple of years before making her move count. I just find that so heroic! (Best regards to @Teapot; I miss playing Count to a Million with him!)

It sounds like you're on the right track, though, Vash. It sounds like the two of you had a pretty intense chat that other time. The fact that you'd want to be able to keep her as a friend in any case is a great thing. That proves how much you like her for herself.

Hang in there, buddy. I've got my fingers quietly crossed for you. ;)
 
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Ah man. The Friend zone isn't really a real thing is it? I've never really been in it with a girl I fancy. I thought it was just something salty guys said. Surely the more you get to know someone, you'll know more clearly if you're attracted to them or not? Can you lose attraction for someone because of being friends? Aaaahhh
 
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It is my understanding that the friend zone is a concept made up by aspiring pickup artists to explain why someone might not want to tear off their clothes and sleep with them after getting to know them first rather, than a real thing. I have never gone out with someone who didn't befriend me first!

R
 
Rui said:
It is my understanding that the friend zone is a concept made up by aspiring pickup artists to explain why someone might not want to tear off their clothes and sleep with them after getting to know them first rather, than a real thing. I have never gone out with someone who didn't befriend me first!
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I know a lot of people dislike the term or see it as sexist or whatever, but I feel like it's a pretty neutral term and that everyone (or at least everyone single) has people in their "friendzone". To me it's just friends who belong to the gender/s (and perhaps age group) you're open to relationships with but for whatever reason you wouldn't actually ever be interested in romantically.

Maybe it's just me being my usual blunt and harsh self, but there are certainly people I would class as being in my friendzone because while I get along with them fine and I think they might be open to a relationship with me, I don't find them physically attractive or interesting enough. So if I have one, I think it's fine for other people to have one and put me in it as well.
 
I got followed on twitter today by some American Jesus Trucking company. As far as I can tell I have nothing to do with any of these things. I might be able to understand if some of the other people they had followed were random but they all appear America / Jesus / Trucking related.

Twitter is strange.
 
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