Lord Bacchus
Student Council President
Glad to see yer sense of humour is still intact, dude.
Oh my god, I love Welcome to the NHK. I totally get where you're coming from, though.
In terms of anime series that are a bit difficult to watch because they feel a bit... near the knuckle, mine would probably be The Tatami Galaxy. If you've seen it, there's a bit in the first episode where the protagonist (who is never named) is goaded into asking out a girl he likes during a busy summer festival scene, and shoved across the bridge where she's walking towards him in the opposite direction. He starts to hyperventilate, his vision goes shaky, and he's drawn as a jittering, blocky mess. He achieves absolutely nothing in the conversation, freezes up and then suddenly says something like "Well, I must be going." He then breathes a sigh of relief, turns back to normal and convinces himself "That went well. That's enough for today." That's still me to a tee, that is. And a lot of other people too, I'm sure, given that it's depicted in the episode as it is! And that line... "I'm not going to lose. I'm not going to lose to pining for love."
Episode 6 as well, where he freaks out at the idea of physical intimacy, and vows to protect his "long-protected virginity", much to the cowboy's dismay.
I can't identify with the episode where he chooses the love doll, though. That just wouldn't be my bag.The cowboy represents his penis.
And the last two episodes are an absolutely terrifying idea to me.
He's trapped for months in an inescapable maze consisting of countless iterations of the same room.
@Lord Bacchus: I've been re-reading your posts.
I'm sure her hypocrisy isn't lost on you, dude, so I'm sure nobody even needs to point that out. What's supposed to be the point of offering someone you care about encouragement to do something and then lashing out at the result?
Look at how these read when you line them all up:
There's no "probably" about it, dude: you hit the nail on the head. Who needs all of that grief in their life? She's supposed to care about you, for god's sake. All of the above is a funny way of showing it. Like I said, you just don't need any of that in your life. Nobody does.
You deserve better, man. I hope you realise that.
No bloody wonder. That would drag anyone down into the bowels of some kind of hell.
I can't see how it was a fluke. It didn't work out in the end, but asking her out and hearing a yes as an answer was no fluke. What was it Rui said before?
End of!
Well I guess you need to wait for lightning to strike twice. Or even better, put yourself in a spot where lightning will strike twice. I'm not sure about that part yet as I'm still trying find my own way with all of this just now. Anyone got any firmer advice for our Bacchus?
Nope, I can't agree with that at all. You were friends, weren't you? Well, there you go. How was that a fluke?
How did your friends react when you cut ties with them?
Yeah, I was painfully aware of the fact I was being manipulated, but sometimes knowing it and doing something about it can be very different things.
Emotional attachments can become very difficult to break. What the heart wants and what your reason knows to be true can often be entirely different things. There were many times when the threat of suicide was a very powerful motivator in stopping me from leaving. Ultimately even if I wanted to break it off, it didn't mean I wanted her to die, and the thought of myself being in some way indirectly "responsible" for her actually killing herself would be more than I could take. My family assured me many times that it wouldn't be my fault even if the worst were to happen, but if it did I would still have blood on my hands. That obviously wasn't the only thing keeping me there of course, but when push came to shove it would often cause me to back down when I thought I had had enough.As for the friends I had made, that's a whole different issue. I stand by what I said, that being that I probably only ended up being friends with them because they were flatmates. It's not that I have difficulty chatting with people, but I don't make proper friendships easily, and haven't really made any new ones irl since I left school (except my ex), so when I was put in a situation where I had to make friends I did see it as an opportunity to possibly reinvent myself. For the first few months I tried to keep up with them, but going to university three years late meant they were all 18 year olds, and all wanted to go clubbing and such, which is like my own personal hell.
I still went other places with them, but there were a few occasions when my ex took issue with me and it put me off (all of the times I ever disclosed my intent to go somewhere with them really). Two things stick in my mind. One time we were going to be going for a Christmas dinner as a group, and for about an hour before I was meant to go, my girlfriend was in a depression and demanding I keep talking. I told her eventually that I had to go, but I made up a lie and said I had to go shopping, because if I told her I was going somewhere with the flatmates then past experience told me it would end badly for me. I can't remember how, but she somehow knew I was lying and forced the truth out of me. She started screaming at me down the phone and I ended up just hanging up and going anyway, but it made me pretty miserable company.The other was the worst one. I had been chatting with a girl before a lecture. I can't have talked to her for more than five or ten minutes, but she asked for my Facebook details and saw I had no profile picture, then insisted she took one of me. After I got home, my girlfriend saw I had added this person, saw the picture and argued with me for hours, saying I was cheating, and then also demanded to see the pages of every other female friend I had so that she could test me and see how attractive they were compared to herself. Because I wasn't incredibly close with these people, there wasn't a reaction to me not remaining in contact since I often ended up not going out anywhere with them, and the second year put me in a different building, but I probably would have had a lot more trouble if I hadn't many times been convinced not to go places with them in order to avoid the stress of arguing.
At the moment I am utterly burnt out on relationships. I can't really see myself making it a priority until I have sorted out some more pressing issues with my life, like making sure I finish the degree next year, getting a job afterwards etc. I'm making some plans at the moment though. When I was still shackled in that relationship I wouldn't have ever thought of going to a foreign country after the degree, but since I am now free to do as I like, I have been strongly considering applying to go to Japan to teach English after my degree. The only requirement appears to be that you are a native speaker with a degree, and since my degree will be English I figure it puts me in a fairly good position to apply, assuming I get the grade I want. I've been playing around with the idea of using a good chunk of the time I have between now and going back to university to start learning Japanese so that I could adapt a bit better when and if I decided to go.
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