Lawrence, in ways I know how you feel. You become numb with everything moving fast paced around you and you don't want to do anything. I've been tired all the time for years now, always a reminder of my depression but I try not to let it stop me doing things.
I watched Hook last night and Robins last words in the film bought tears to my eyes "to live would be an awfully big adventure". Don't ever feel for one second like you want to stop being apart of this world. I've been to rock bottom so many times but ever since an attempt in my teens, I've never once since wanted to end my life. I'd rather be alive even if I'm not living. I'd take staying in my room, eating supernoodles and watching tv shows and animes over not existing and not being able to do that.
Guys, if you lived closer to me, regardless of any age differences, I would be so lucky and happy to have you as IRL friends. Instead I get you online but you're company. You're people to talk to outside of the 4 I always so in a small way, you're keeping me sane
I've never had trouble making friends, I just seem to have been left with the wrong ones. Ones who don't even treat me like they treat the rest. Any that were good have left me, left me for friends in other circles I've introduced them to and replaced me with them. Story of my life. Lost 4 so far because of my being "nice".
Right now I'm trying to focus on changing my figure to stop from thinking about how I have no one besides my Mum, Gran, Brother, BF and pets. I'm doing a Jillian Michaels DVD and remotely watching my food. I'll stay on my RDA or under. I should really try and reduce my intake but atm with feeling so emotionally poop, I'm eating for happiness *looks at the empty Mikado box on my work desk*

I wish I could physically do the Insanity exercises/moves properly so I could "feel" them but I can't. Stupid weak ankles and my neuroma. The idea of looking good after 60 days, it makes me cry with happiness but sadness that I can't do that. I hope Jillian's DVD does SOMETHING. It's so shallow but I want to look and feel good when I start my new job, I hope it makes people like me as I really really want friends

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Yakumo - I feel ya! Time and time again I either meet or exceed deadlines and unrealistic ones too. I feel pride but sadly it makes no change here. Those who can't make deadlines go unpunished with what they haven't done given to me to finish and I get no praise. That's why I'm leaving. Aaaaaah
