Relationships and Romance

Neil.T said:
Ah, gotcha. How's your job? Decent? Or just something that pays the bills?
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Something that pays the bills really mate I'm a warehouse person so yeh not great but at £8.70 an hour. It's best money round here for this sort of job. Everywhere else is £7.50
 
Tricky, innit. How are you with job interviews and stuff? Do you feel like you could quit one job and find something elsewhere?

I'm not so confident with them myself. Probably part of the reason I've been in the same job since leaving school. I work at Marks & Sparks. It's DHL that deliver our stock, since you mentioned them.
 
Neil.T said:
Tricky, innit. How are you with job interviews and stuff? Do you feel like you could quit one job and find something elsewhere?

I'm not so confident with them myself. Probably part of the reason I've been in the same job since leaving school. I work at Marks & Sparks. It's DHL that deliver our stock, since you mentioned them.
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Not to bad to be fair mate....did 7 years for m and s warehouse in stoke when it was through Norbert dentressangle
 
Oh...? What were they like? Were they hard taskmasters? ;)

And if yer okay with interviews and stuff, you've opened up your options again. :)

I'm literally just... stuck in every sense, it seems. Out of luck and out of ideas!
 
Neil.T said:
Oh...? What were they like? Were they hard taskmasters? ;)

And if yer okay with interviews and stuff, you've opened up your options again. :)

I'm literally just... stuck in every sense, it seems. Out of luck and out of ideas!
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It's hard in this world mate it's depressing some days it's like what am I doing in this world. Other than just working and other days I'm happy thinking what could be and stuff what could happen. I try to think positive at times but it doesn't always work...
 
*sigh*
Innit, though. I think, maybe if I had some kind of functioning imagination or something, maybe I could... I dunno!

Or some kind of, you know, backbone or whatever!

Sorry, bud. I seem to be in a bit of a crisis mode at the moment. It's a delicate balance between thinking out loud in front of people (which I find genuinely helps), but at the same time trying not to... well, depress everyone!

How're you enjoying the thread, Dave? Learnt anything? (I feel like I've learnt a lot, myself.)
 
Yeh very true I find reading some peoples posts on here makes me happy but yeh there certainly some interesting stuff on here. It's just about staying positive and looking up really. It's hard but hey what in life isn't those
 
Rui said:
Why does it bug you? If you find a flavour of juice you absolutely love, do you really need to taste all of the mediocre-sounding alternatives to confirm to you that the first one tasted good? Is it worth losing the first one forever just so that you can settle for a superficial experience with lots of different types of juice? Some people prefer the thrill of the chase to the actual endgame, but personally I know what I like in life and when I find it I don't ever want to let it go. Certainly not to compete with (exaggerated) brags from people who have never experienced what I have. Even if they have slept with a thousand people, they've never slept with the person I care about. They'll never feel what I feel. It's not a race.
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I might love the flavour I love, but that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna look at other flavours and wonder what they’re like.

And whether they’re exaggerated or not, there’s still some truth to them. They still have more experience than me, and that bugs me. I was raised to think I’m insanely good looking so seeing people LESS than that being more successful to me isn’t only hurtful it’s also extremely insulting.


In any case, while I'm no champion of strictly waiting for 'the one', I've never been all that impressed by 'relationship experts' who claim to have been with hundreds of women. They've been able to sweet talk hundreds of people into their beds, yet never managed to maintain a long term relationship? Then they know nothing. And frankly, they're probably still rubbish in bed. You don't learn all that much from someone who is still on their best behaviour trying to impress someone they only just met. You learn from a communicative, trusting partner who is confident enough with you to speak their mind.
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Why does it have to be “long-term” and “meaningful” with “feelings” and all these other strings attached? Why can’t two people just knuckle down, have a bit of fun and then call it a day? I can’t be arsed with any of that (for now), I just wanna get busy - nothing more, nothing less.

A lot of those people are embellishing the truth, you know. Their insecurities push them into bragging the way that yours push you into resenting the way everything works. It's a ridiculous situation. The only people whose feelings about a relationship or sexual experience matter are the participants themselves.
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I hate the way it works purely because everybody has to make it all so complicated - I know a lot of people don’t like casual sex because they “feel used”, but I’ve always struggled to understand that - at the end of the day, you’re still getting action, that’s still someone else you’ve been with who you can add to your tally and remember later in life with a smile and think “yeah, that happened, that was nice” - Why WOULDN’T I see that as a good thing?
 
Foxfire-Nova said:
I was raised to think I’m insanely good looking so seeing people LESS than that being more successful to me isn’t only hurtful it’s also extremely insulting.
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You might want to ditch this sense of entitlement you seem to be clinging to. You'll just have to EARN what you want along with the rest of us.
 
Neil.T said:
You might want to ditch this sense of entitlement you seem to be clinging to. You'll just have to EARN what you want along with the rest of us.
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I’ve NEVER lived my life, in any sort of way, under the mindset of “I have to EARN this, if I want this to happen it has to be ME who does it, I’m in control of my own life and I’m going to STEER IT in the direction I want” - and you say “the rest of you”, I specified earlier in this thread that I don’t SEE myself in the same calibur as most people - In my head I’m better looking than probably all of you here and that only makes me feel more like girls should be rushing to have meaningless sex with me.

But I’m not daft, I know that mindset is a load of **** and it’s dragging me down - the point I’m making is that when you’ve had all of that deep-seated in your head for the longest time, “ditching it” is no simple task - it’s a default mental state and no matter how hard I try to get rid of it it’s always there, at the back, to some degree.
 
Neil.T said:
So... which is it? Pick one and stick to it, surely? o_O
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It’s both - feeling like that is a mental habit I’ve had most of my life, but I find it hard to adapt my train of thought to what I know to logically be true purely cause I’ve believed it for so long.

In short, my head is conflicted. I don’t LIKE thinking that way and I know exactly how it comes across, but at the core it’s still there - I can’t just click my fingers and change my entire way of thinking.
 
Jesus, I'm normally quiet on these kind of things but by the sounds of it you're a 5/10 who thinks their a 10/10. Thats just by going with your self confessed track record.

I was 'brought up to believe I'm great looking'? What did mommy tell you that? Did you know I was brought up to believe in the Easter bunny? That must mean it's real and true, right? Get your head out of your arse and work on your people skills if you hope to have any kind of meaningful relationship in your life that isn't as superficial as you sound right now.
 
@Foxfire-Nova: Okay. I understand being conflicted about something. And I certainly understand not being able to just change your way of thinking.

You've got two paths to pick from here: one is to bury your head in the sand and continue believing what you've believed up to this point; the other is to accept and embrace what you now know.

I think you already know which path leads to a better future.

Trust me: you really are in the same boat as everyone else. You're not an exception to any rule when it comes to human relationships.
 
Morbo said:
Jesus, I'm normally quiet on these kind of things but by the sounds of it you're a 5/10 who thinks their a 10/10. Thats just by going with your self confessed track record.
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If you’d read my earlier posts in this thread you’d know that A) if I was REALLY a 5/10 none of this would be happening, since even though attractiveness is subjective enough people have obviously thought otherwise to convince me of it, and B) it’s not that I don’t have a “track record”, it’s that it isn’t anywhere near as massive as I was lead to believe it would be.

I was 'brought up to believe I'm great looking'? What did mommy tell you that?
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Yes. That’s EXACTLY how this has happened.

No, seriously.

As I’ve already specified, I have autism. Kids are already gullible enough, but combine that with an autistic brain and you multiply it by 10 - if you’re told something enough, you’re gonna believe it. Un-learning something like that isn’t as simple as being told otherwise, it lingers in your brain for a long time unless you go out of way to get rid of it, which until recently, I’ve never felt like I’ve needed to.

Get your head out of your **** and work on your people skills if you hope to have any kind of meaningful relationship in your life that isn't as superficial as you sound right now.
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Did I say this way of thinking was correct? No, I did not. I’m simply explaining what my mindset IS. Or rather, what it has been for years upon years until I’ve actually started questioning it recently. And let me tell you, questioning something you’ve always known and trying to completely change it? That’s NOT an easy task, in any manner of speaking.

Trust me, it is NOT that I can’t see how wrong this way of thinking is, it’s that it’s so deeply buried in my conscious that no matter how much I fight it it refuses to completely go away.

Neil.T said:
I think you already know which path leads to a better future.
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I do mate, and trust me when I say I’m working on it. Talking in places like this does help, as does challenging what I’m saying so by all means, fire away.
 
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