Relationships and Romance

To be honest I can completely understand the 'one sided' conversation stuff. I am an incredibly quiet person at the best of times and me and Teapot have quite different hobbies (although there is certainly overlap!), so coupled with the fact he talks a lot I do tend to listen and just interject now and then. Which is fine and I actually like it like that! Sometimes I get super chatty about my hobbies and he listens or we have more of a back and forth and that's fine. It means he gets to talk about computer parts I don't remotely understand and I can talk about my favourite fluffy romance manga of the week and we're both happy.

I think when we first started dating Teapot used to worry about how quiet I was, but at we spent more time together he realised that it's just how I am and also I become a little more talkative myself.

On the topic of romantic gestures earlier - as Teapot outed me, I am a huge sop for romantic gestures but I also don't expect them because I know he doesn't care. We have a back and forth every year on valentines and anniversary about if we're getting a card/gift and most valentines he says he doesn't care and then buys me some sweets anyway! >_< Even this year a miscommunication almost led to us not exchanging gifts for our anniversary because he thought I didn't want to (mostly because I was making a fuss about he usually doesn't mind and that came across as me not wanting too as well or something).
 
In regards to anniversaries that’s probably one time I’ll make the effort, I remember fondly when my fiancèe and I met, I also know she would like to remember it also and so because it’ll make her happy and get me some lovely cuddles I’m more inclined to make an effort then.
 
Demelza said:
To be honest I can completely understand the 'one sided' conversation stuff. I am an incredibly quiet person at the best of times and me and Teapot have quite different hobbies (although there is certainly overlap!), so coupled with the fact he talks a lot I do tend to listen and just interject now and then. Which is fine and I actually like it like that! Sometimes I get super chatty about my hobbies and he listens or we have more of a back and forth and that's fine. It means he gets to talk about computer parts I don't remotely understand and I can talk about my favourite fluffy romance manga of the week and we're both happy.
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Totally this :)

I was very conscious at first that I was doing alot of the listening, but, at the end of the day, anime is much more "his thing", and I admitedly just don't have an awful lot of knowledge about it. We're totally respectful of the fact that some of our hobbies differ but so long as the support is there, you can't go far wrong. I think as well, it's as you've mentioned, it comes down to how we are as people: I'm a really friendly person, and as much as I enjoy general/topical conversation, I tend not to get very talkative about my own hobbies and interests unless I'm asked about them, and that's with anyone, not just with Neil.

So ye--
Neil.T said:
@~AyaMachi~: Did I ever tell you I was watching this one series called DARLING in the FRANXX? 😄
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See what I mean??? 😂 🤣 😂 🤣 😂 🤣 😂 🤣
 
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Ooh I get to see one of those conversations...

@Neil.T i have a question about franxx for you... (still only part way through) does it end as well as it begins and continues as far as I’ve gotten? Does it get better? Should I expect an awesome ending or steel myself for disappointment?

Please note I’ve not looked at what folks have been saying so please keep it as spoiler free as possible.
 
Neil.T said:
@~AyaMachi~: Did I ever tell you I was watching this one series called DARLING in the FRANXX? 😄
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would you say it's a show couples would like after everything in the show though? or just standard Trigger type stuff? I've finished it myself just curious on it really
Phobos said:
Ooh I get to see one of those conversations...

@Neil.T i have a question about franxx for you... (still only part way through) does it end as well as it begins and continues as far as I’ve gotten? Does it get better? Should I expect an awesome ending or steel myself for disappointment?

Please note I’ve not looked at what folks have been saying so please keep it as spoiler free as possible.
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well, it's a bit of a divisive ending. there's quite a few things that move the world on from what it was, some people like that, but the climax I guess I'll call it doesn't last long, the enemy is a bit like the bronze tribe in heroic age, the bronze tribe provide a lot of conflict in that but virtually nothing is known about them, the enemy in Franxx provides the final conflict but then again there is nothing known about them, the anti spiral in lagaan was more developed

on the subject of anniversaries, my brother's wedding anniversary is my sister's birthday. oh boy.... I hope she appreciates the present I got her (you know, a husband)
 
So I have another question. What are peoples thoughts on age differences in a relationship? Is there a maximum amount you’re comfortable with? Does it completely not cross your mind?

I ask because early on in my relationship I was asked if it bothered me that my partner was “so” much older than me, there’s only a six year gap, I was stunned getting asked such a question as I had honestly never given it a thought. I was (and am still) totally happy with my partner, something as meaningless as age doesn’t come into the equation for me. So for me personally I am completely comfortable with any age gap people have, whatever works for folks works for them. Hell hats off to anyone with a large age gap.
 
I think age gaps are more of an issue when you're younger, especially when the age of consent is involved, (if a 20 year old like myself was dating a 14/15 year old girl for example) otherwise it shouldn't be an issue as long as both parties are happy.
 
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I personally don't think age gaps are as scandalous as they used to be back in the day. I mean you'll get some people kicking up a stink because that's how they are but, so long as it's legal and above board, and both parties are happy.

The last guy I was "with" was 24, and I was 30 at the time, and he made it out to be a bigger deal than I ever did; for me it was a total none issue. Then again he struggled to reign in his emotions and he wasn't the most mature of people; age does not necessarily reflect maturity.
 
HWR said:
I think age gaps are more of an issue the younger you are, especially when the age of consent is involved, (if a 20 year old like myself was dating a 14/15 year old girl for example) otherwise it shouldn't be an issue as long as both parties are happy.
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I concede you have a point as far as age of consent is involved however my personal opinion is if it’s legal and what both parties want then it’s all good.
 
Phobos said:
I concede you have a point as far as age of consent is involved however my personal opinion is if it’s legal and what both parties want then it’s all good.
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I agree, as long as both parties are over 16 it's their decision. No point in getting triggered over relationships that aren't any of your concern.
 
10 years gap. Unless one partner is really young (consent issues have been mentioned) age can just be a number but sometimes the older can seem almost like a parent to the younger (as if they have more life exoerience) that can be annoying
 
Captaaainuniverse said:
10 years gap. Unless one partner is really young (consent issues have been mentioned) age can just be a number but sometimes the older can seem almost like a parent to the younger (as if they have more life exoerience) that can be annoying
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Nice to see a differing opinion here, I have to ask would it still be an issue for you if the relationship with a 10+ year age gap ended up as them acting like a regular couple and not where one party takes on the parent role? I can see where you’re coming from with the life experience thing, that could potentially make it harder for me to connect to someone romantically but if it didn’t I can’t see it being a problem for me, personally.
 
Phobos said:
Nice to see a differing opinion here, I have to ask would it still be an issue for you if the relationship with a 10+ year age gap ended up as them acting like a regular couple and not where one party takes on the parent role? I can see where you’re coming from with the life experience thing, that could potentially make it harder for me to connect to someone romantically but if it didn’t I can’t see it being a problem for me, personally.
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I'm gonna have to keep saying the life experience thing there, it's not every time but eventually age does make a difference if it's that much
 
Captaaainuniverse said:
I'm gonna have to keep saying the life experience thing there, it's not every time but eventually age does make a difference if it's that much
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I can’t agree with you on that one I’m afraid. There’s plenty of examples of 20+ year age gaps where the couple remain together and happy. An example would be my aunt and uncle, the age gap there is around 26years, they make a great couple and have done for a long time. The fact they’ve been together for longer than I’ve been around is testament to their relationship with one another, personally I’m fine with that.
 
I think it depends from person to person. Looking back on my dating history, all of my relationships have been with guys at least 2 years older than myself - the biggest age gap being 10 years. I have dated guys my own age of course, but I've always found that we're not really on the same wavelength. (I may be in my early 20s on the outside, but I'm actually 80 at heart).

I think it depends on what you're looking for in a relationship as well, and whether that person is 1) on the same page, and 2) whether you're happy with that person. If so, I don't think age differences really matter. (Provided it's all good and legal... :oops:)
 
kiraxkuin said:
I think it depends on what you're looking for in a relationship as well, and whether that person is 1) on the same page
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I think this is really important. It's no good if both people involved are expecting different things. For example, if one only wants to keep it casual but the other wants more in the way of commitment, it's just going to end up in tears. Communication is key to make sure you're both singing from the same hymn sheet, as it were!
 
~AyaMachi~ said:
I think this is really important. It's no good if both people involved are expecting different things. For example, if one only wants to keep it casual but the other wants more in the way of commitment, it's just going to end up in tears. Communication is key to make sure you're both singing from the same hymn sheet, as it were!
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I dread to think of all the issues not communicating would cause.
 
I've always figured that age gaps matter a lot more when you're younger and then barely at all when you're older. I'm not sure I'd ever be with someone more than 5 years older/younger than me, but I'm not put off by the idea of others who might be in a relationship with someone younger/older either.
 
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