I agree there, I’m not one for the typical romantic stuff, especially on things like Valentine’s Day, why should I show my feelings with gestures just because people who are trying to sell things tell me to? If I do show such things with romantic gestures like struggling to get in the house because I’m carrying too many flowers (yes, I’ve done that) it will be because I wanted to at that time. Now despite me admitting to what I’ve done there, I’m not one for doing things like that frequently, they’re very much the exception not the rule. Only typical romantic thing I’ll do is buy my partner chocolate but that’s because we both like chocolate, it’s not done with the whole “hey look at this heart shaped box with a big bow on it” scenario. It’s just done because we both like chocolate.
Yeah, I just don't feel a need to express my love for my partner on a specific day, especially one that's so commercially driven. For me, it's just...things like showing that you've listened to something, or remembered something they've said, being attentive - those things to me show you care without being romantic in nature.
@Teapot's post has reminded me of this kind of thing actually, with regards to "it makes her happy - which in turn makes me happy".
One of the things I really hope I
can do is get on board with Neil's love for anime. Whilst I do like some stuff, I certainly don't share his level of enthusiasm for it, but, when we're on the phone and he's talking about a show he's really into at the moment, and I can
hear the enthusiasm in his voice, that for me is the
best thing. Admitedly I initially did find it hard, because it was very often a one-way conversation in that regard - he would talk about stuff and I would basically listen as enthusiastically as I could, and since I felt like I'd have nothing to really "add" to the conversation, I'd find myself kind of...desperately not trying to let on that I was perhaps finding it a bit difficult to focus sometimes. I brought it up at one point, and whilst he admitted that it was down to just having finally found someone who would listen to him talk about his passion, he also ackowledged that it's about striking a balance, and applying the "everything in moderation" mantra into this situation too.
That said though (digressing a bit here), in the early days of our phone conversations, I do remember him saying that he wanted our calls to be a "safe haven" for both of us, and as such those conversations were a bit more limited in subject matter. Don't get me wrong we expect most of our conversations to be general and light-hearted in content, but I recently expressed a desire to just be more "open" about
any subject in phone calls, rather than just limiting certain "heavier subjects" for messaging - being able to broach anything in conversation builds trust, and at the end of the day, whilst there's distance between us, I do want it to be as near as damn it to being together in person. Because of this I find it much easier now in lending my ear when he wants to have a good old chat about a show he's been watching, and I find I'm much more receptive and willing to engage and chip in with things, even if it's not stuff I'm really aware of or knowledgable about. The way his voice lights up is really special to me, and since he's really enjoying this part of his life again, that's a
major plus!
