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Time for another 'DAMN IT ALL' moment on the job hunting.

Around late October I decided to apply for a Front-End Developer role at a company in Sheffield under the RISE Graduate scheme. I passed the Application stage and even managed to pass the Video Interview stage, which then led to the Assessment Centre stage. The Assessment Centre stage is split into two tasks (unfortunately it's under an NDA agreement so I can't explain it in full-detail, so I'll be calling them A & B). I did pretty well on Task A but unfortunately I didn't put enough effort in Task B which resulted in me failing the stage and not being able to reach the final stage which was the Interview with that company.

This was devastating because there are literally zero jobs in Sheffield for a Junior Web Developer role at £18,000+ that I could apply for. And this is an issue because I can't stay like this for any longer because the longer you're unemployed the harder it will be to find a job. I have applied for a Christmas Job with GAME locally which I have yet to receive any response for the time being.

I have been keeping myself busy throughout the past couple of months. Got access to a local host server to continue web development; from sorting out my portfolio to remastering my University web project to even making a third mini-web project about my import games collection. Outside of that web self-studying I've been keeping the news reporting for AUKN to the max to ensure the site keeps performing well (and yes it has been very effective as of late, though Teapot's articles got the huge spikes in views so he takes credit for that also).

Overall I'm rather disappointed about the whole RISE process. I can see why they made the four stages but for programmers it's not really fair altogether (because I can guarantee you that there will be someone who is probably amazing in whatever role he applied for but failed the Assessment Centre because of how completely off-topic it is for the job criteria). I'm also disappointed in myself because I got this far and let myself down as a result - like group tasks are relatively simple, but in this instance I didn't get the chance to speak out on the topic at hand due to the team constantly saying what I was going to speak about. I won't blame the folks in my group because they were all well-knowledge on the scenario and probably more suited for this situation than I am.

My parents will still support me while I'm at home, but at the same time I don't want to be stuck in Cambridgeshire. I want to be back in Sheffield (or Leeds if there's any potential roles there) as soon as possible.
 
@NormanicGrav
I'm pretty surprised it's so hard to land a job in the IT industry; weren't IT jobs universally sought for everywhere in the world? Or is this just the case for Sheffield?

@Shadow Cat
Nah, the point of the whole story is I already gave him the undeniable proof of what I said I didn't know for sure. It's like you hand out a box and say you don't know how much it costs, but the price tag is tucked right onto it. It doesn't change anything if I were to point that out (that would be me wasting police time), that ebay guy did anything wrong as wrong as he could so the case is clear even without that specific proof, but anybody who reads this might come to wonder. "Hey, wasn't this Luna girl just too stupid to read the tracking info properly?"

@ayase
Not just the public instutions... probably the vast majority of normal companies, too, I'd say...
 
Luna said:
@NormanicGrav
I'm pretty surprised it's so hard to land a job in the IT industry; weren't IT jobs universally sought for everywhere in the world? Or is this just the case for Sheffield?
Click to expand...

Somewhat they are everywhere, but a lot of them are Middle/Expert tier roles and for me I can only pursue a Junior/Graduate role for the time being. Once I manage to find a job and stick with it for about 12-18 months I should be able to tackle the Middle tier roles if I fit the criteria.
 
NormanicGrav said:
Somewhat they are everywhere, but a lot of them are Middle/Expert tier roles and for me I can only pursue a Junior/Graduate role for the time being. Once I manage to find a job and stick with it for about 12-18 months I should be able to tackle the Middle tier roles if I fit the criteria.
Click to expand...
I'd say you shouldn't be too focussed on Junior/Graduate positions, but also consider applying for, say, Medior roles. It might seem like a wasted effort as you won't meet the criteria, but there's more to hiring a software developer then simply using a checklist. Quite often companies have positions open for several months already and really just need someone. If you get the chance, highlight the experiences you do have (be it small projects, non-profit projects or just hobby projects) and show your eagerness to get familiar with the various techniques, frameworks, etc that were "required" for the role. While this won't really work for enterprise environments, small companies are often a lot more flexible.

Do what you want with this advice. It is by no means a guarantee, but I have seen both sides of such a "gamble" work out. In any case, just keep at it, and I'm sure you will find something. ;)
 
Given that the majority of automation stuff is done in either PowerShell or JavaScript, I actually wouldn't restrict myself to web development. A lot of employers don't actually understand what "programmers" do for a living and are only really interested in the results. They tend to categorise people under the generic umbrella job title of "developer". One day they'll throw something web-based at you (frontend/backend whatever) and the next something completely different say an automation script to make things easier for them knowing you can just take care of it because you're a developer and you develop things.
My advice is like Lynx said, don't focus on junior positions but also don't focus on web developer roles. Expand your knowledge base into automation, cloud stuff (AWS/Azure) and more of an understanding of infrastructure and virtualization (VMs etc) and just go for something more generic. You can always specialise when you've got a taste for something.
 
Another nail in the coffin why I don't like digital content

Back in July 2016, Miku Flick 02 (IOS) was discontinued so you were no longer able to download the app

So the only option was to pay money again for Miku Flick (IOS). What once again has been discontinued as of October 2017

So pretty much paying twice for a game you simply can't play anymore -_-

While I understand you can't support everything forever. To say you "Buy" digital content is far from the truth... "Rent" should be better.

Unlike DVD/BR when you physically own the item, where its user fault if it breaks... Its almost 100% upto the supplier if you keep your digital content

/Rant
 
Random question of the day

We all know when we're physically ill to the point when we can't work, be it simply sick or more serious things like back problems or injury. Thats fine

But how would you handle something like depression?

I've always been a person thats got the mindset of "unless I'm broken to the point of collapsed and cant do basic things, I can work" maybe not the best thing but I'm not really one to take days off ill

But for reasons I wont go in to, I would say I have minor to mild depression, its something thats getting better over time but whatever. Thats not the issue for this post

My question is what would you do if it gets to the point where you really don't want to go to work. Not because you don't want to, but because you feel you can't (its difficult to explain but hopefully you understand)

As I said, I haven't taken time off, most of the time I'm ok, but after a recent event that made me feel considerably worse that usual, I really don't know how to handle it.

If you're wondering why I don't just speak to my building manager about this is simple, I dont want anything to effect work and people dont need to know. Simple
 
Shadow Cat said:
Random question of the day

We all know when we're physically ill to the point when we can't work, be it simply sick or more serious things like back problems or injury. Thats fine

But how would you handle something like depression?

I've always been a person thats got the mindset of "unless I'm broken to the point of collapsed and cant do basic things, I can work" maybe not the best thing but I'm not really one to take days off ill

But for reasons I wont go in to, I would say I have minor to mild depression, its something thats getting better over time but whatever. Thats not the issue for this post

My question is what would you do if it gets to the point where you really don't want to go to work. Not because you don't want to, but because you feel you can't (its difficult to explain but hopefully you understand)

As I said, I haven't taken time off, most of the time I'm ok, but after a recent event that made me feel considerably worse that usual, I really don't know how to handle it.

If you're wondering why I don't just speak to my building manager about this is simple, I dont want anything to effect work and people dont need to know. Simple
Click to expand...

Go see a doctor. If they deem the depression bad enough, they'll give you a sick note, which would allow you to be off work. I'm unsure of the specifics, but there's been people at my work place that have been off with it before, sometimes for extended periods. You would have to confide in someone at work, but matters like that are sensitive and confidential, so it shouldn't become common knowledge at your work for people who don't need to know.
 
Shadow Cat said:
My question is what would you do if it gets to the point where you really don't want to go to work. Not because you don't want to, but because you feel you can't (its difficult to explain but hopefully you understand)

As I said, I haven't taken time off, most of the time I'm ok, but after a recent event that made me feel considerably worse that usual, I really don't know how to handle it.

If you're wondering why I don't just speak to my building manager about this is simple, I dont want anything to effect work and people dont need to know. Simple
Click to expand...
I totally understand this scenario because I've been in it. Not sure my way of handling it was really the best though, which was just to try and tough through and put on a happy face in public and suffer in private, to then let it get to the point where I had a mental breakdown and never went back. I just got on a train one day and the closer I got to work the more terrified and upset I became. So I just kept riding trains until I felt far enough away from what at the time I perceived to be the cause of my pain that I felt at ease. And then after going to the doctors and basically declaring "I'm going mad, help me" I sent them an e-mail a couple of days later apologising but saying I wouldn't be going back. They were quite understanding and said I could have gone back if I wanted, but I'm a prolific burner of bridges in my life.

As I understand it (or at least as I interpret it based on my own experiences and listening to those of others) there's different types of depression - Depression caused by your own thinking (regarding pretty much anything, yourself, your situation, other people's actions and behaviours) and depression not really caused by anything which is due to brain chemistry. Doctors, I find, are often very quick to presume the latter and stick you on happy pills, which I imagine probably does still work for the former, but doesn't really address the actual root cause, though I'm sure there are cases where antidepressants are warranted. However I have never believed that to be true in my case. Talking therapy / counselling helped. CBT helped. But depression is a part of my life that I've just accepted will come and go, the main thing now is that I can recognise it and essentially, mentally talk myself out of it in order to function - Not to ignore it, but to understand why I feel the way I do and tell myself that dwelling on things and avoiding things isn't helping me. But everyone is different and it's important to realise that what worked for someone else might not necessarily work for you.

IncendiaryLemon said:
Go see a doctor. If they deem the depression bad enough, they'll give you a sick note, which would allow you to be off work.
Click to expand...
This is a very sensible idea which I wish I'd been in the mindset to do at the time. Seeing a doctor is the first step to dealing with any form of depression, but the one caveat I'd add is to not let them talk you into anything you don't want. I had to straight-up tell my doctor I did not want to be put on antidepressants and that I wanted to explore therapy first. It's the NHS, they might have to pay more for therapy than pills, but you don't.
 
Shadow Cat said:
Random question of the day

We all know when we're physically ill to the point when we can't work, be it simply sick or more serious things like back problems or injury. Thats fine

But how would you handle something like depression?

I've always been a person thats got the mindset of "unless I'm broken to the point of collapsed and cant do basic things, I can work" maybe not the best thing but I'm not really one to take days off ill

But for reasons I wont go in to, I would say I have minor to mild depression, its something thats getting better over time but whatever. Thats not the issue for this post

My question is what would you do if it gets to the point where you really don't want to go to work. Not because you don't want to, but because you feel you can't (its difficult to explain but hopefully you understand)

As I said, I haven't taken time off, most of the time I'm ok, but after a recent event that made me feel considerably worse that usual, I really don't know how to handle it.

If you're wondering why I don't just speak to my building manager about this is simple, I dont want anything to effect work and people dont need to know. Simple
Click to expand...
You sound like me...definitely the same I work until at the point of collapse. Inegy back ache etc after a few hours of work but I plod on. I've had it years I'm just that used to it. Same abit with depression exactly the same boat. I just try get on with life. At times it's hard I have good days. And then have real bad days where I just don't talk to anyone
 
I think whats bugging me about this all is not that I have issues, but I've always been one to be like "Right, this is this, I need to do this" so maybe I don't really /deal with it/ but I put myself into a position where I'm in control of my actions and how I feel. Mostly in front of customers or general dealings at work I try and stay positive and in general I'm ok

but I'm just annoyed when I can't do that. For example last a few weeks ago a customer went into the office at work and actually complained that I didn't seem happy. Yes. that wasn't a comment, it was a complaint because I wasn't providing the customer service they expected. This was then followed up with both the Building and Shop Manager (I'm a Yard Staff) asking the customer if I wasn't doing my job (As I'm usually the one to always get the job done). The customer quickly backed down

But this shouldn't have happened

IncendiaryLemon said:
Go see a doctor. If they deem the depression bad enough, they'll give you a sick note, which would allow you to be off work.
Click to expand...

See, I'm not good at talking (haha, social anxiety FTW, I even found cause for concern notes on my Year 1 end of year paperwork from like 20 years ago as I've always managed to exclude myself from pretty much everything,,, go me!) so describing how I feel to anyone is interesting. So even if I did get drugged up on anti-depressants, I'm not sure how much that would help.

ayase said:
to then let it get to the point where I had a mental breakdown and never went back. I just got on a train one day and the closer I got to work the more terrified and upset I became.
Click to expand...
This^ (I didn't quit or walk out. I just walked away from doing work for about an hour, this happened within a few days of getting that complaint, over the last few weeks I've been nowhere near as bad as that)
Depression caused by your own thinking (regarding pretty much anything, yourself, your situation, other people's actions and behaviours)
Click to expand...
And this^
 
Shadow Cat said:
I think whats bugging me about this all is not that I have issues, but I've always been one to be like "Right, this is this, I need to do this" so maybe I don't really /deal with it/ but I put myself into a position where I'm in control of my actions and how I feel. Mostly in front of customers or general dealings at work I try and stay positive and in general I'm ok

but I'm just annoyed when I can't do that. For example last a few weeks ago a customer went into the office at work and actually complained that I didn't seem happy. Yes. that wasn't a comment, it was a complaint because I wasn't providing the customer service they expected. This was then followed up with both the Building and Shop Manager (I'm a Yard Staff) asking the customer if I wasn't doing my job (As I'm usually the one to always get the job done). The customer quickly backed down

But this shouldn't have happened



See, I'm not good at talking (haha, social anxiety FTW, I even found cause for concern notes on my Year 1 end of year paperwork from like 20 years ago as I've always managed to exclude myself from pretty much everything,,, go me!) so describing how I feel to anyone is interesting. So even if I did get drugged up on anti-depressants, I'm not sure how much that would help.


This^ (I didn't quit or walk out. I just walked away from doing work for about an hour, this happened within a few days of getting that complaint, over the last few weeks I've been nowhere near as bad as that)

And this^
Click to expand...
How long do you think you have had it.? Do you think something or someone triggered it? I know its hard say but its worth having a think
 
I think I'm going to go watch something on HiDive before sitting with this tread too long ^.^

Though to answer part of Dave's question, Anime helped a lot and still does. This account (Even though I've only really started posting in the last 6 months) is 5 years old at least... Lets not think about that and go watch some Frame Arms Girl
 
Shadow Cat said:
Random question of the day

We all know when we're physically ill to the point when we can't work, be it simply sick or more serious things like back problems or injury. Thats fine

But how would you handle something like depression?

I've always been a person thats got the mindset of "unless I'm broken to the point of collapsed and cant do basic things, I can work" maybe not the best thing but I'm not really one to take days off ill

But for reasons I wont go in to, I would say I have minor to mild depression, its something thats getting better over time but whatever. Thats not the issue for this post

My question is what would you do if it gets to the point where you really don't want to go to work. Not because you don't want to, but because you feel you can't (its difficult to explain but hopefully you understand)

As I said, I haven't taken time off, most of the time I'm ok, but after a recent event that made me feel considerably worse that usual, I really don't know how to handle it.

If you're wondering why I don't just speak to my building manager about this is simple, I dont want anything to effect work and people dont need to know. Simple
Click to expand...
my experience/thoughts
just to get something that could be depressing out of the way, my mother passed away last year. so now my father, who looked after her for much of my life has been diagnosed with depression, she was classed as disabled and he had to care for her, so he didn't have a job for all that time, and now his depression classes him as disabled, so at the very least he doesn't have to go through finding a job which is a pretty tough thing to do (I had to try that for 6 years myself) he has moved on though, and found a girlfriend

my problem though, is that I don't feel like I've moved on from my mother, I hate my job and I've never had any real friends, so I'm stuck feeling more alone then ever just gaining more stress from a job that doesn't help. If I did see a therapist just for a diagnosis, I think I would most likely come out with a classic mix of depression and anxiety that enough people get for it to be "average" which would mean it wouldn't get me out of work. sometimes I don't know whether to burn down the hospital that failed my mum or to jump off a bridge. sometimes I just think it's the everyday problem of the wheels coming off the track, but as long as I can still physically work I will.
the best solution I can see for myself is to find work I actually enjoy doing, I don't feel so bad when I can just laze around the house but after a while I miss being productive
 
If you're anxious about speaking to the doctor, write your situation down (in short form or bullet points, they have short attention spans) and emphasise what you do and do not want to be the outcome of the discussion. Ask to be referred to a specialist if they aren't comfortable dealing with mental health issues too. Many GPs are not skilled with these issues. Getting help from a GP for a problem they can't see or touch can be very, very difficult if you're unlucky, so steering them a bit from the start via a plan you've prepared in advance will hopefully stop them railroading you into something unsuitable to get you out of their surgery.

I think it's probably best to try to have the doctor refer you to a qualified therapist as we're all nuts here, but if you find it hard to vent in real life and easier online there's no shame in seeking out opportunities to talk things out with friendly Internet People who just want to listen rather than push you into anything you're not comfortable with. Even just writing a blog you never actually post can really help get your thoughts in order instead of having them swirling angrily around in your head over and over again, slowly driving you crazy.

R
 
So on Sunday I saw Queens of the Stone Age live at Manchester arena, and it was a fantastic night. I've never been to a concert before, so I wasn't sure what to expect, but it was just a brilliant experience. They played a really great mix of stuff from their new album and the fan favourites from their back catalogue, and the crowd was just electric. There were a handful of songs I wasn't familiar with, and I wasn't so hot on that, I don't think that live renditions is how you really want to first experience a song, and I can't even remember what they were, but aside from that, I loved it and I'd definitely see them again.

Probably a slim chance, but did anyone else here go?
 
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