The General Conversation Area

Neil.T said:
Obviously I can only speak for myself, but I'd imagine that if someone I liked actually wanted to spend time with me or seemed to be counting on me for anything then, far from it being off-putting, I'd find that tremendously heartening. I'm much better at getting up off my ar*e to do something if it's for someone else's benefit other than my own. That's kind of when I really come alive.
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Speaking from experience, while feeling wanted by someone can be wonderful, there is a point where it becomes too much if that person comes to depend entirely on you for literally everything. I am of course talking about an extreme case here (not mild everyday "clinginess", which I actually quite like), but it is worth bearing in mind. In my case, I acquiesced to everything, and ended up becoming little more than someone's coping mechanism. Basically, be dependable and kind, but don't let someone take advantage of your good nature, or you may end up being treated like a doormat.
 
Clinginess is Hot, there's nothing hotter than a girl phoning you 100 times a day, demanding to know where your at and who your with, it's especially hot when they see you in a picture with another girl, and demand that you cut off all contact with said girl.
 
Watanabe Ken said:
Clinginess is Hot, there's nothing hotter than a girl phoning you 100 times a day, demanding to know where your at and who your with, it's especially hot when they see you in a picture with another girl, and demand that you cut off all contact with said girl.
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You seem to be confusing being clingy with being a complete psycho....
 
serpantino said:
you seem to worry prematurely about everything Vash. You should focus on your anxiety before worrying about hunting ladies or what to do when you've got one or you'll just keep falling at the first hurdle and then you'll get even more paranoid the next time and further reduce your chances in a vicious loop. Relationships don't cure you unfortunately and my previous one years ago fell apart because of my own issues & paranoia.

In my (limited) experience women like a man who's confident, assertive, and who doesn't second guess too much; at least initially. Once you're both comfortable in a relationship then it becomes more balanced and you can open up about your own hangups but early on it needs to be more about theirs.
If you can't do it then practice faking it, it worked for me. Everytime I was paranoid about something I'd push it back, delete the texts before sending etc.

edit: if it seems like I'm being cruel at any time in my responses to anyone, it's not my intention. I've been in the same place and I've learnt that you need to know when to push and when to stand back and reinforce. You can't win a war just by charging repeatedly, you need to be equipped to win first.
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I do worry and think too much, it's a characteristic of mine. I do worry about finding a lady, this is true. However I'm not actually too worried about what to do when I have a lady. I wouldn't even be that worried even if I was impotent. My rule is to be natural. It's for this reason that I can't take on board the advice in your second paragraph, not at all. I know the common wisdom seems to be that women like assertive, confident, cocksure men. But I don't a want a partner who wants that kind of partner. I want a real human who also wants a real human, not some archetype of a Hollywood movie douchbag.

It's something I actually regret about my previous relationship, I did fake that persona, and maybe that's why I got her, who knows. But I really really regret putting on that front, it wasn't really me, and now it just plays with my mind like "did I only get my only girlfriend because I played the typical man role?". I'm pretty sure that's not what attracted her much at all though, in fact, that act caused needless issues. It was hollow and it was obvious.

I'm not going to do that again, I'm not going to play by whatever imaginary rulebook of what makes an attractive man you read about in GQ or wherever. I'm going to stick to my scruples. I'm going to second guess myself when I second guess myself, I'm going display my startling lack of assertion honestly. I'm going to be honest. If that means that 99.9% need not apply, or I need not apply, then so be it. I won't pretend, I hate insincerity with every fibre of my being.
 
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So in a weird twist of fate I'm now contemplating buying an old CRT TV to watch SD animation, because Jesus Christ it looks so awful upscaled on my 4k monitor and I can't fathom the madVR settings well enough to eliminate all the horrible compression artifacts and sharpen it up.

At 100% (which is the only size I don't really notice the horrible quality) SD content appears in a 5 inch window. Which is equivalent to the size of a TV screen from around 1936. Funny how these things go...
 
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So a while ago I mentioned that more and more of my results were cropping up. Today I have received the final confirmation of my University results.

I am happy to confirm that I have finished the third & final year of my Computer Science for Games course with a 2.1 grade. This was a fairly close call in fact, due to the Final Year Project module earning me 52% for 40 credits.

Here are the results overall:
  • 3D Games Prototyping - 64%
    This is a group project module about making a game for PlayStation 4. Due to NDA reasons I can't delve into details on everything about this one sadly. But it was an interesting module overall. Our group's project even won the best game at the department's final year show because it was the most polished of the lot.
  • Games Software Project Management - 66%
    This is half a group project and half an individual essay. The group project stuff is all about working together to discuss what the solutions to various scenarios are for an average games company. It's not too bad and fairly simple, but my team struggled a bit due to being a man down at the beginning (because he switched courses). The essay turned out better than I had expected so I'm happy about that.
  • Mobile Applications Development - 83%
    My favourite module in the final year part, and also the optional course choice. This is entirely group project related as well. 20% was about making a presentation on a random topic given to us and we were chosen the OUYA which went alright but last minute problems occurred that were not our fault. The 80% is making a mobile game. My team struggled a lot but we got through and I was happy enough to get the 87/100 mark for it. The mobile game was made using Marmalade SDK Core.
  • Project SEGM - 52%
    Also known as the Final Year Project. The topic that I chose was creating a prototype of an online teacher's planner. The outcome of it was pretty solid and I was able to make a planner that contained an assessment page, timetable, calendar and sticky notes plus a login system that can connect to an SQL database. The reason for the low mark was because it was not strong enough to earn higher marks with the idea and content that I had. They also nitpicked my demo to death which honestly upset me a lot.
  • Real-Time 3D Techniques - 48%
    This is entirely individual work about making certain tasks work using DirectX11. It was also interesting to learn about but the issue was the high difficulty and how much I messed up during the first semester that everyone felt was simple to work on. It could have been better but I tried my best.
 
NormanicGrav said:
So a while ago I mentioned that more and more of my results were cropping up. Today I have received the final confirmation of my University results.

I am happy to confirm that I have finished the third & final year of my Computer Science for Games course with a 2.1 grade. This was a fairly close call in fact, due to the Final Year Project module earning me 52% for 40 credits.
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Congrats Grav!. Good luck in the future with your future endeavors.
 
Did anyone else come out of uni and just... not have a bloody clue what to do with themselves? In a couple of weeks it'll be the 2 year anniversary since I graduated and I can't exactly say I've made the most of my degree...

For the first year and a half I just did NOTHING. Before this my life was predictable, I just rolled with it - when I finished school, I thought "Okay, I guess I'll go to college now" then when I finished college I thought "Okay, I guess I'll go to uni now" then when I finished uni "...Okay, now what the hell do I do?"

I'm the sort of person who never had to take charge of his own life because he had the support of friends out of the house and family in it, so when I saw people looking for part-time jobs in school/college I'd laugh at th concept because I had the bank of mum and dad, and when I heard that my friends' parents made them do things like ironing and cooking for themselves, I'd laugh because it was always done for me. As you can guess, I was absolutely raised in the comfy corner, So when I finished uni, I didn't have an automatic next step and life was DARING to suggest I start taking charge of my life for the first time, needless to say it was WAY out of my comfort zone.

To those of you graduating this year, let me tell you that social media is your WORST enemy after you graduate - we all have these little expectations as to how graduate life will be and it never sticks entirely to what we plan it to be. You'll see your friends going out and doing things, whether it be getting new jobs or getting engaged/married and essentially starting their life off properly and if you aren't doing exactly the same, seeing other people do things while you don't is the WORST.

I felt horrible seeing and hearing what all my friends were up to and I slowly fell into a horrible rut - I wanted to get out there, be working and be making something of myself but I had very little motivation to do so other than "Well, it's something to do..." and even though a lot of people would like this, it didn't exactly help that my parents were putting next to NO pressure on me to get off my arse and get a job.

I was looking, but I was half-arsing it. We all know how boring and tedious applying for jobs is, and often it's all for naught. Well, picture this - you're sat in your room, knowing you have to be applying for jobs. This is a repetitive and soul-crushing process especially when you know you most likely aren't going to get it. Also, you're about to do this in your room, where you're surrounded by all of your games consoles, DVDs and books. Tell me, what sounds more appealing?

One of the girls from my course got a 2:2 and has had about 3-4 jobs since we graduated, on the flip side I got a 1st and nobody seemed to want to hire me. Stuff like this, combined with the fact I wifely almost guilty seeing my friends who were all at work/uni/college where as I was doing nothing, you can see how crap that would make me feel? I had so little self-esteem and motivation that I couldn't bring myself to keep looking for jobs even though that seemed the most likely fix, it was an endless circle.

Well thankfully things aren't as bad now. I have a job now in a theatre as a barman - it's only casual but it's better than nothing, and it's alright for what it is, the pay is good and the other staff are nice. I've seen other people graduating since who have had similar experiences and it's honestly refreshing to see, though I would still like things to improve - I have very little independence and I'm still just living at home and working whenever.

I guess my issue is I don't really have anything I'm working towards. When I was at uni I was working to get a degree, what am I working towards now? Yeah, I'm earning money but not enough to get my own place. I'm just existing, and it sucks...
 
I have a slightly different perspective on things given I'm now at university a good well... let's say ten (as a nice round number) years after I could and possibly should have done. I think life has a way of getting you on the path you want to be on, even if it's by demonstrating to you via negative experiences what you don't want to be doing with your time. I guess in a way, I think I'm fortunate to have never got into any of those commitments other people did that you mention. Yes, friends (and I use the term loosely because the most contact I have with them now is liking facebook statuses) got married, had kids, all that jazz which is probably nice in its own way... but it's tying. I think they probably feel a sense of responsibility now that means they wouldn't do what I did a few years back and quit a decently paying job because it (and the rest of my life, or lack thereof) was literally driving me insane, spend the best part of three years broke and unemployed and in therapy before heading back into the world with a renewed sense of purpose to actually get what I want from life this time.

I think the only advice I have is to do what you want to do. What you REALLY want to do and be honest about that, regardless of how impractical or how stupid or how selfish you or other people might think it is. "Just existing" is no way to live - We have one life and believe me, even from only this much further down the line it feels short enough as it is. Why spend that limited time doing anything else? I have far more regrets than I have fear for the future, but me now isn't me ten years ago and I had to go through that crap to get to this place and come to this conclusion. If only my hair and youthful looks could have stuck around for the journey I'd probably be a lot happier, but life probably figures I need at least something to complain about lest I become one of these annoying happy people.
 
Foxfire-Nova said:
Did anyone else come out of uni and just... not have a bloody clue what to do with themselves? In a couple of weeks it'll be the 2 year anniversary since I graduated and I can't exactly say I've made the most of my degree...

For the first year and a half I just did NOTHING. Before this my life was predictable, I just rolled with it - when I finished school, I thought "Okay, I guess I'll go to college now" then when I finished college I thought "Okay, I guess I'll go to uni now" then when I finished uni "...Okay, now what the hell do I do?"

I'm the sort of person who never had to take charge of his own life because he had the support of friends out of the house and family in it, so when I saw people looking for part-time jobs in school/college I'd laugh at th concept because I had the bank of mum and dad, and when I heard that my friends' parents made them do things like ironing and cooking for themselves, I'd laugh because it was always done for me. As you can guess, I was absolutely raised in the comfy corner, So when I finished uni, I didn't have an automatic next step and life was DARING to suggest I start taking charge of my life for the first time, needless to say it was WAY out of my comfort zone.

To those of you graduating this year, let me tell you that social media is your WORST enemy after you graduate - we all have these little expectations as to how graduate life will be and it never sticks entirely to what we plan it to be. You'll see your friends going out and doing things, whether it be getting new jobs or getting engaged/married and essentially starting their life off properly and if you aren't doing exactly the same, seeing other people do things while you don't is the WORST.

I felt horrible seeing and hearing what all my friends were up to and I slowly fell into a horrible rut - I wanted to get out there, be working and be making something of myself but I had very little motivation to do so other than "Well, it's something to do..." and even though a lot of people would like this, it didn't exactly help that my parents were putting next to NO pressure on me to get off my **** and get a job.

I was looking, but I was half-arsing it. We all know how boring and tedious applying for jobs is, and often it's all for naught. Well, picture this - you're sat in your room, knowing you have to be applying for jobs. This is a repetitive and soul-crushing process especially when you know you most likely aren't going to get it. Also, you're about to do this in your room, where you're surrounded by all of your games consoles, DVDs and books. Tell me, what sounds more appealing?

One of the girls from my course got a 2:2 and has had about 3-4 jobs since we graduated, on the flip side I got a 1st and nobody seemed to want to hire me. Stuff like this, combined with the fact I wifely almost guilty seeing my friends who were all at work/uni/college where as I was doing nothing, you can see how crap that would make me feel? I had so little self-esteem and motivation that I couldn't bring myself to keep looking for jobs even though that seemed the most likely fix, it was an endless circle.

Well thankfully things aren't as bad now. I have a job now in a theatre as a barman - it's only casual but it's better than nothing, and it's alright for what it is, the pay is good and the other staff are nice. I've seen other people graduating since who have had similar experiences and it's honestly refreshing to see, though I would still like things to improve - I have very little independence and I'm still just living at home and working whenever.

I guess my issue is I don't really have anything I'm working towards. When I was at uni I was working to get a degree, what am I working towards now? Yeah, I'm earning money but not enough to get my own place. I'm just existing, and it sucks...
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This post resonated a lot with me. I never did go to Uni, but I did apply and get into an apprenticeship scheme at the phone company EE, thinking that was my progression path, that I'd get an apprenticeship, which would lead to a full time job, and hopefully promotions in the long term. However, that all went down the pan in less than a month, after I despised working in Technical Support and it wrecked me emotionally, as I was actively anxious and terrified at the thought of going to work, so after two weeks of training and one week on the phones, I quit. That was a year ago, and as of this moment, I find myself in a similar position to you. I currently work part time at a supermarket for minimum wage, with no aspirations or goals in life, and also coddled somewhat by my parents and lacking independence. I am totally just coasting, and it's kind of worrying. I am starting to wonder if this is it for me. Will I just continue doing what I do now until I inevitably die some kind of lonely death? Probably not, but it's kinda starting to feel like that. I want to do something else, but I lack any real qualifications outside of those I earned in college, and even then I've pretty much forgotten all the skills I learned anyway, so it's pretty useless anyway. Change is hard, and I've gotten a little too comfortable in my current rut that I feel I'd struggle to escape it.
 
I'm a little stunned. I've been watching AOT Season 2 and at 15:30 I saw a titan fisting another titan in AOT episode 36- Charge (season 2), and I thought AOT couldn't get much more disturbing.

I had to do a second take and grab a screenshot but I haven't uploaded it due to potentially minor spoilers.

Once seen it cannot be unseen!
 
For those who haven't viewed my youtube channel thread recently, I'm pretty much having to find a new place to live and it isn't going well considering the amount of landlords that have unlisted no DSS/Housing Benefit policies in my area (and even in my borough and neighbouring boroughs) and it's becoming a right pain as I only have at most one option that I could move to and I've even thought of completely moving out of London since I can at least find a decent place for less then the LHA (the only problems with this option would be hoping that I'm not too far away from the nearest jobcentre and not being able to actually view the properties since it would cost an arm and a leg to travel to them).
 
demonix said:
it isn't going well considering the amount of landlords that have unlisted no DSS/Housing Benefit policies in my area
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I really hate that. It's funny how they taut 'no discrimination' in work places and applying for jobs (there really is) but it's OK for people to refuse an income no more or less stable than a job. It's clearly discrimination based on the delusion that benefits = scum (not helped by the rubbish shown on tv).
 
Since the property market is hideously under-regulated, would there be any harm in simply lying about your source of income? London landlords are no strangers to duplicity themselves...
 
The Storm on the south coast and especially where I'am on the Isle of Wight was insane last night!

I really love thunderstorms and I'm in no doubt when I say that last nights storm was the best I've ever seen. The Isle of Wight must have been hit by lightning in the 10s of thousands last night. It was just non stop for 2 hours or so. I've never seen so much fork lightning in the flesh and I've definitely never seen so many flashes in the night sky. I think this is (hopefully) the closest I will ever get to see what a War Zone must be like, the horizon was just constantly flashing and once the storm was overhead it was utterly incredible. I felt like a little kid all over again.

Anime may be some great entertainment but It'll never beat what Mother Nature can offer :p
 
Blaize said:
The Storm on the south coast and especially where I'am on the Isle of Wight was insane last night!

I really love thunderstorms and I'm in no doubt when I say that last nights storm was the best I've ever seen. The Isle of Wight must have been hit by lightning in the 10s of thousands last night. It was just non stop for 2 hours or so. I've never seen so much fork lightning in the flesh and I've definitely never seen so many flashes in the night sky. I think this is (hopefully) the closest I will ever get to see what a War Zone must be like, the horizon was just constantly flashing and once the storm was overhead it was utterly incredible. I felt like a little kid all over again.

Anime may be some great entertainment but It'll never beat what Mother Nature can offer :p
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It was awesome just over the water here in Gosport as well. I'm sure the Spinaker tower in Portsmouth was hit a few times.
 
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