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ok i've cheered up now.
tiz time for the annual christmas sing-a-long of jinglebells with the tenchi cast \o/
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tiz time for the annual christmas sing-a-long of jinglebells with the tenchi cast \o/
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mangaman74
Akatsuki
Good to see you have cheered up Ryo
ayase
State Alchemist
Sadly I don't think it works like that. People who like to get at other people enjoy it no matter what the reaction from their victim is - the primary reason for doing so isn't to make you feel bad, it's to make themselves feel good. All they care about is transferring their frustration to someone else, and you do receive it, whether you put a brave face on it or not. Buddhist monks, I think, are the only ones who have found some way of disposing of frustration without passing it on to someone else.Mutsumi said:
Aion
Time-Traveller
As much as I hate Christmas, and the human race in general, family meals aren't so bad once a year. I get to wind-up my 'uncle' for a lengthy period with my 'charming' personality (I once tipped a full bucker of water on his head. He's warmed to since he tried to hit me, though), my nan gets out of her house and I get to listen to my mother fannying around over cooking/getting cranky.
A retarded dog that keeps barking helps, too. He's staying over at my 'uncles' house for xmas, and he barks 24/7 at night, forcing him to sleep with the dog. Last night the dog opened a box of chocs (present) and ate like 17/20. Then, later, he got a huge piece of turkey that had dropped on the floor in his gob. After seeing him, I prefer my more quiet, Aion-hating dog, Princess. She's a complete bitch but at least she isn't annoying.
A retarded dog that keeps barking helps, too. He's staying over at my 'uncles' house for xmas, and he barks 24/7 at night, forcing him to sleep with the dog. Last night the dog opened a box of chocs (present) and ate like 17/20. Then, later, he got a huge piece of turkey that had dropped on the floor in his gob. After seeing him, I prefer my more quiet, Aion-hating dog, Princess. She's a complete bitch but at least she isn't annoying.
ayase said:
Depends on whether they are just taking out their own frustration or whether they are specifically trying to bother just you. My method has served me well for the latter.
As for you, Ryo.......
Merry Christmas! Glad you are feeling better!
Now, go have yourself a good time & forget you ever had those questionable ideas earlier.
Aion
Time-Traveller
Mutsumi said:
You fail at understanding the basic psychology of bullies. I fear for your IQ score.
A bully won't feel sad if they can't get a reaction - the word you're looking for is annoyed. And, if someone responded by putting on a fake smile, that'd just make a person more eager to push more buttons. That's why anyone with a morsel of intellect A) stands up to a bully or, in the case of the internet, goes with B) and enters ignore mode.
I wouldn't expect someone with no comprehension skills; someone who makes sex/pussy jokes, to grasp the above, though. Don't worry your little head, love.
Suicide is for the weak. The strong survive, taking from the weak, and the weak give in; ending it all. Suicidal people, like religious people who need to pray to God to keep going, lack the mental toughness required to push on.
People like Mutsumi, too simple to be bothered by anything, are lucky. But for others with intelligence, who can suffer mental wounds, it all comes down to how much pain a person can handle emotionally.
If you kill yourself, who pays for your funeral? Who cries when they have to live on beyond their children?
If you have no parents, suicide hurts nobody. If you do, then killing yourself is selfish to the extreme.
If you allow people to upset you; to get the upper hand other you, then you're the one at fault. So, in effect, for being powerless, it's yourself your feelings should be aimed. Blaming others for your own failings is childish.
ayase
State Alchemist
I would agree if it weren't for the fact that parents choose to have children, with all the possibilities that could entail. Children don't choose to be born. I'll concede it is fair to repay the kindness of others, but ultimately your life is your own and no-one else's. Therefore you should live it for yourself and do what you want to do with it. Perhaps that is selfish, but I don't think it's bad or unfair to put yourself first.
But it is right to blame others for their failings. I do have failings of my own I readily admit, but doing harm to others is not one of them. It's those who do harm others who are at fault. Besides, who we are today is a product of our experiences - and past injuries done to us by others can continue to affect us long into the future, so in a very real way others are to blame for your failings. Any psychologist worth their salt would tell you that. Not in such blunt language probably, but that's the gist of it.Aion said:
And that's human social history for you. Emotions passed on from generation to generation, from person to person, from the beginning of history 'til the end of time. we pass on love and happiness to each other, but also pain and suffering. You can't blame people for being f*cked up if through no fault of their own they've received more of one than the other from other people.
So thinking about it, we're both wrong. You can't justifiably blame yourself because you aren't to blame for your failings, but nor can I justifiably blame others because they aren't to blame for their failings either. It's one massive spiral of hate which probably goes back to the first monkey who picked up a bone and beat another monkey to death.
Aion said:
Cattell III B - 154
Cattell Culture Fair III A - 140
You fail at understanding the meaning of IQ scores & how you find out your own IQ. An IQ score is worthless unless you say which test was used to measure it. Ironically the 140 on the second test listed is worth a little bit more than the 154 of the first one.
Also, annoyed is not a good feeling is it? Therefore by your own admission I am still correct, because you said it would make them feel annoyed if you were happy in spite of their attempts to bother you.
Too simple? Pfft!Aion said:
I am extremely intelligent thankyou very much, I've just learnt how to let life's problems pass me by, & when to care & when not to care. I know full well how much is wrong with the world, how little hope there truly is of attaining most of one's ambitions in life, & how futile it is to even live when we all die eventually anyway. Life will screw you over at every turn if you let it. Honestly, nothing does matter at all in life. That is exactly why you should learn to enjoy life. Without happiness what do you really have? Ultimately, everything everyone does in life is in the pursuit of happiness. It all boils down to this. All I've learnt to do is find happiness more easily. If you are happy & alive, what more do you need?Lastly, you can criticise me as much as you like, but I seriously doubt you enjoy your life as much as I enjoy mine.
Aion
Time-Traveller
ayase said:
Why do you think it is that some are winners and others are losers; why some bully and others are bullied? Why is it that some can use trauma as an advantage and it swallows up others?
Everyone is born with a different set of skills - some none at all. Some are born with strength, where as others are born weak. That's all there is to it. What's done to a person's mind after they come into existence doesn't mean a possible hero would end up as a zero.
Yes; no-one is blameless, but no-one is evil either. A bully bullies out of their own weakness(es), those people feeling the need to prey on other, weaker existences in order to prove their own existence as a person. Nothing is as black and white as childhood makes people believe.
When I was a kid, I blamed others. "It's those who treat me like **** who're to blame!", "It's my mother who's to blame for making me miss a few years of school, then pushing me into a normal, rough senior school!", etc etc. But, after looking inwards, I realized - it was my failure as a human being that lead to me being treated like trash. My lack of strength, my lack of knowledge, my weak mind, my laziness, and my complete lack of common sense - all of these things are why I'm who I am.
Understanding this, being the perceptive soul I am, I see myself from the perspective of others. I have a mental image imprinted in my mind when I'm talking to someone, and that leads to me getting angry. But, because I'm angry at myself rather than another, that anger only leads to despair, and I only hide away within myself more and more.
"Leave him if he doesn't want to talk!" - someone once said this to me when I tried out college and people tried to be friendly with me. I wanted to respond, explaining why I wasn't acting 'normal', but I couldn't. In the end, I gave up, and that experience that sums up my life perfectly.
Who's the person you hate the most in the world? In my case, myself. Who's the person you love the most in the world? In my case, myself.
Who is the worse human being: one who allows themselves to be bullied, crying themselves to sleep, or those who use others for their own satisfaction? It's human nature to abuse and destroy, after all. Humans can only follow the law of the jungle in sophisticated fashion, with things like ethics pushed on us in the hope we'll avoid giving into our true nature.
If you're going to compare your mind to my own, don't unless you're in the 200(ish) range. And don't try to act more manly unless you're in the 10" range. That's my advice for you.
Quite right. So, in this instance, lets judge you based on speed of thought rather than IQ tests. You took something like 30+ minutes to type up a couple of paragraphs, without even reading through to correct errors.
You remind me of the 'highly intelligent' AUKN member who, after making a stupid thread and throwing 13-year-old sex jokes at me, ran away... after sending me a PM, informing me he goes to the 3rd best uni in the land.
Frustration can be motivational, leading to anger. Anger leads to hate, and... actually, listen to Yoda for the rest. Sadness only leads to tears.
When someone feels the need to tell another that they're intelligent, it means the person in question is, in actuality, a complete ******* idiot. (I'm an exception to this.)
Also, an intelligent person wouldn't respond when bait is dangled in front of their face. The actions of an idiot are caused by idiocy.
Even with happiness, you have nothing. There's no happiness that lasts and, eventually, you'll only be left with negative feelings. Pain is caused by losing what made you happy in the first place.
That's because you're a simpleton, mainly.
ayase
State Alchemist
For some people obvious natural deficiencies or advantages mark them out as "different" but I think that the most 'normal' people can also be totally alienated from society. For instance, those who spend their first years with loving, fair, open-minded parents who nurture their talents and educate them well, who are then stuck in an environment at the age of four or five with a load of other kids from much worse families. That's what f*cks people up. Suddenly you're outnumbered twenty-to-one by blithering, bigoted idiots - and unless you find better people to be around that's the way it stays for the rest of your life. That's what happened to me, and with real sadness I've seen the same thing happen to the children of other relatives. Only recently have I started working on finding better people to be around.Aion said:
Interesting. I don't hate myself, partly because I think I'm right and others are wrong but mainly because I think you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. And I do want to feel love for other people, be it platonic or otherwise. But I hate the life I currently lead because at the moment I feel incapable of that, mainly because of my answer to your first question. Because the people I hate are those who have contributed to human society being the massive pile of **** it is, now and throughout history. And that's probably 99% of the current population of Earth*.
I f*cking love this Octave Mirbeau quote which can be found on the back of the greatest album ever made:
“You’re obliged to pretend respect for people and institutions you think absurd. You live attached in a cowardly fashion to moral and social conventions you despise, condemn and know lack all foundation. It is that permanent contradiction between your ideas and desires and all the dead formalities and vain pretenses of your civilization which makes you sad, troubled and unbalanced. In that intolerable conflict you lose all joy of life and all feeling of personality, because at every moment they suppress and restrain and check the free play of your powers. That’s the poisoned and mortal wound of the civilized world.”
Never a truer statement was uttered. Everybody else goes along with all this **** because it's 'normal'. So I agree on the human nature thing. People shouldn't contain their true natures with made up rules or societal norms, but the question I would ask is; Is human nature an intrinsically negative thing? Or do we learn all these negative traits from others too? for instance, most little kids don't hate people. They care about their family members and friends, and are simply scared by people they don't know or who treat them badly. I don't want anyone to think I'm becoming religious or anything, but y'know, I think I see what Jesus meant when he said we should aspire to "become like little children" - because they're free of negative actions and emotions which can harm others. Their only real flaw is dependance on others (this is in danger of bleeding into the 'moe' thread). They can be harmed, but do not harm others - which is also a Buddhist philosophy. And that leads me to believe the manipulative person is in fact worse than the one who allows themselves to be victimised.
I think you're perhaps a little harsh on yourself, but then if we hold differing views on how and why we came to be who we are neither of us is too likely to change how we feel about anyone, ourselves included. Being able to see yourself from the perspective of others is a positive trait though, I think. You might put it to better use though, these insults just drive people away who aren't as mentally strong as you or I. You might be fine with that, indeed it might be the thing that helps you find the people you want to be around and excludes those you don't, but I wouldn't like to see AUKN empty of interesting people just because they aren't able to cope with you. Not that I'd ask you to change for the benefit of me or anyone else. You are who you are - but sometimes it seems you're not content to let others be who they are, even when their actions aren't affecting you.
*99.4% if I use the ratio of friends I had at school to the number of students. Which would still mean there are forty-two million people I could get on with. It's just finding them amongst the seven billion which is the problem.
Aion
Time-Traveller
ayase said:
Since I don't give a toss what anyone on here thinks of me, I might as well, if only for comparison purposes, add on a little* to what I said before:
*I intended to type a few paragraphs. I ended up typing pretty much my life story. Maybe, because I very rarely talk/type about these things, I felt the need to get it off my chest?
As a child, I was... different. I was eccentric, straight-forward to the point of stupidity, honest and noisy. Because of my actions in classes (before junior school), and general disobedience, I had to talk to a shrink a few times. And, because of my size, the teachers mistook me for a bully. Once, some small kid asked me to pick him up, I lost my balance, he split his head on the side of table and the headmistress suspended me because she assumed I did it on purpose.
With age, I gradually started to fit in less and less. At first I could play the role of class clown to get along, but that only helped me to a point.
My area - a 30 minute walk from junior/younger schools - was rough. I lived in council flats, with a homeless block close by and druggies who used the bottom of the flats to do their thing. School girls would leave tampons in other peoples rubbish... etc etc. It wasn't nice. To protect me, my mother did what motherly love lead her to do naturally: not letting me go outside on my own, walking me to school (and back) and, basically, hand-holding me through the early part of my life. This became a problem when a gang of 15-20 kids clocked me, seeing me constantly with my mother. To cut a long story short, I became known as "Mommy's Boy", and I couldn't go out without enduring verbal abuse. Having been protected like a baby all my life, I didn't know how to even respond... so, if memory serves me, I ended up giving them a retarded version of the finger.
It got so bad at one point that my mother chased down one of the kids, hit him on the back of the head, humiliating him, and made him see the error of his ways. (Amusingly, after that, I think he started being nice to her!)
At one point, when I was forced to stand outside the school (playground area) with some other kid as punishment, some senior school kids who were passing saw me, pinned me against the wall and threatened me. How I got that much hate I don't know, but being cared for wasn't a good thing in my area.
Then, a year before the final year of junior school, something happened. I upset an older kid and, because I attempted to stand my ground, he kicked the back of legs. I hit my head hard on the concrete, getting knocked out. After this, and following a teacher humiliating me in class because I did something wrong with my work, my mother pulled me out of school.
My mother is a loving woman, but she has one major flaw: she isn't smart. So, when she - a woman who'd protected me from swear words and violence - attempted to educate me at home, the warning signs should've been there. However, I ended up doing pretty much nothing for a few years, until someone recommended I try going to a small center for kids with 'problems'.
Now, when you think of 'kids with problems', you'd assume they'd be kids with issues of a mental nature - like myself, with AS. But the problems differed considerably from my own. These kids - all older than me, some at the end of senior school age - had been mostly kicked out of school. So, in a nutshell, I was put together with street-wise kids, knowing nothing of the world. It ended up all going horribly wrong, with me ending up in a toilet, crying, and the other kids kicking the door/laughing. And when I found whatever was required for me to go back into class, the 'teacher' (not a proper teacher) pointed at me, made fun of me, the other kids joined in and I was left crying at my desk. Since I'd used my mobile to send a SOS to my mother in the toilet, she'd gotten on some buses and come to fetch/save me; finding me looking pathetic. If only I'd had the courage she had when she defended my like a lioness would protect her cubs, once again stopping the others in their tracks...
In terms of shameful memories, not much compares to that: finding myself completely out of my depth and crying like a baby after I experienced how people truly were for the first time - cruel; enjoying my complete humiliation. That was probably the moment a switch went in my head; a switch that made me view the world in a darker, far more ugly light.
Sometime after that, I started senior school - having missed the last year of junior school and first year of senior. Because of everything that had happened, and my complete lack of common sense (as well as me having been diagnosed as having AS), I got put in special needs. Looking back, that was the worst thing that could've happened. I was put in the school because it had a special needs department, but the school was very much a normal one - even the special needs kids were street-wise. Those outside special needs would point and laugh at those in it, and I couldn't fit in with those in it - the kids either had severe mental issues or were fairly normal. Once it became known that I didn't even know what common slang words meant, I was treated like the village idiot.
The worst part of my day was registration. I was expected to sit outside the class, alone, while all the other kids sat in groups, and when the teacher arrived I had to sit for 15-20 minutes in the classroom, alone. I'd try to read a book/do whatever to not look bothered by this, but - inside - being lonely when surrounded by others was killing me. I did try, in my own way, to ask for help by hanging around the special needs department before registration/going late, but the teachers just viewed me as being too lazy to do anything.
Life continued like that for around a year. I'd 'learn' in the lowest of the low classes because of missing so much school (meaning I was already a no hoper) and I'd talk to pretty much no-one for an entire school day. I tried to look emotionless rather than on the verge of a breakdown in order to make it through each day.
But, as ever with me, something went wrong and screwed up my attempt at normality. Following weeks of what I took to be playful fun, a kid took issue with me. This lead - after a woodwork class - to us ending up waiting for the teachers to leave to sort out our issues in the corridor. One thing led to another and the entire class somehow ended up circled around us. I'd managed to get myself into a situation where I - never having thrown a fist before and having naturally slow (/AS) reflexes, as well as **** eyesight (I had to remove my glasses), had to basically fight or run away. I wish I'd acted like a coward from the start...
Before the events of that day, I'd been treated with a sort of indifference because people weren't sure what to make of me. I was big, emotionless and had cold eyes. Once, some kid tried to insult, so I got up from my seat, looking angrily at him, and he literally jumped against the wall, with his hands raised in a 'push away/surrender' sort of pose. It goes without saying that I didn't look weak, and since no-one knew me from before I started...
...anyway. We started fighting, and I couldn't land a single blow. I swung my arm, missed, he'd counter with a punch which didn't miss my face and it went on like that for a few 'turns'. Realizing I was, once again, out of my depth and in a bad situation, I started to panic. After a punch had connected with my eye, I tried acting like he'd seriously hurt my eye; an attempt to escape through injury. But, realizing how pathetic this was, all the emotions I'd held back came out at once because of frustration, and I started to cry. The kids laughed, I tried to escape... and ran straight into a classroom of older kids that was being taught. You can guess the rest.
After that, I couldn't face going back again. Any reputation I had was ruined and I knew - it was over. No matter what, a guy should never cry in public, and crying over what seemed like just a few knuckles connecting with my face (it hurt more than I'd expected, I must confess!) had turned me into a laughing stock. If I wasn't a joke already, I'd sure as hell turned myself into one after that performance.
Sadly, I did go back, despite begging my mother not to make me. What happened was what I expected: I was treated with disrespect and suffered mild bullying. So, as well as being lonely, I had to deal with being an object of amusement for others. I guess it goes without saying that I didn't last long, eventually refusing to leave my room and dropping out as a result.
What happened after that? Nothing. I'd given up. I saw all my failings clearly, I understood how the world worked and no longer had any confidence in my self. At first I went months without leaving my house at all, though eventually I did handle at least manging to go out. The feeling of being an alien, surrounded by humans, remained, but I could endure being around others as long as I wasn't expected to converse with them beyond buying things. I only ended up getting a better grasp of the English language by using the internet (I had, after all, rarely had a decent conversation...), and by using the internet - seeing more and more of the true, ugly side of humans - I became less and less caring. Even though I once was so simple I never picked up on sarcasm, now I'm the one being sarcastic in an attempt to interact - it's ironic.
Recently, I read a book called 'Goth'. The lead is a sociopath. I wouldn't go as far as to say I'm a sociopath, but it... amused me how similar I am to those types of characters. The way the narrator described having to mimc human emotions, expressions and mannerisms in order to fit in without arousing suspicion, and his dark view of the world... it all clicked with me. When I think that, in order to be human, I have to copy them in the hope of fitting in without being detected, it makes me wonder if I can be classified as human. When one stops caring, does that person become inhuman, or have I just become an adult; wasting life whilst waiting for Mr. Death to say hello? I honestly don't know. Maybe I don't want to know.
When a family member dies, will I have to fake emotion? Have I become that cold? It worries me. More than the death of someone close to me, I worry about that. I really am the lowest of the low; an alien in human skin, with a normal name...
That is a very true little paragraph. How often does a person have to 'edit' their own thoughts and opinions in order to comply with the rules of normal society? People are so PC that not even Christmas can be celebrated without someone who moved to the UK, bringing with them their own customs and values, has a complaint. And there are politicians willing to listen when votes are at stake. From top to bottom, the world is a mess.
Why should you cry/be moved when someone you don't know dies? Because it's normal. Why shouldn't you defend your own home/family by any means when someone breaks in? Because even those attacking you have rights. Why, why, why, why... I cringe at the sort of sheep who listen to the Queen - a figurehead - gives a speech about war, or care about some old fool called the pope getting pushed over. Humans can only live by being sheep in this world.
God wished to keep humans pure; unaware of the natural desires of mankind. Why? Because, when a child steps into the adult world, all that's left is suffering. The problem was, humans aren't pure: they're tainted at birth.
If you're religious, then humans are imperfect creations. If not, humans are no more than evolved monkeys with more intelligence and less hair.
I was once asked, "You dislike small talk, don't you?" I responded with a one word answer: "Yes."
The only way I can interact with others is if I can relate to them or argue with them. There's never been an in-between with me. Sarcasm is my form of self-defense, as well as my link with others. That link may very well only be insults, but it's all I can do to connect with the vast majority of people out there. I never learned what it is to have a normal, friendly conversation.
Of course, some of my actions come down to bullying. Every human desires power of some sort, and battering someone who has no counters with insults is a great stress release. I only do that with meaning when speaking to people I dislike, but it's true I do it.
If I'm banned, fair enough. I'll have no excuses. It'll happen eventually became I'm not fit to be part of something called a community... even if AUKN is the most disjointed "community" I've encountered. A long time ago I came to view isolation as normal, so being deprived of posting on a half-dead message board won't be the trigger required to make me slit my wrists.
...I think that's enough 'therapy' for the time being. I'm done talking about myself like all my **** matters to anyone other than one person; typing it at 3:45 AM on the day after Christmas. I'm not foolish enough to think anyone will do anything other than laugh - I simply felt like getting my thoughts out of my mind.
Lol. If you are going to lie, at least try to keep it realistic. On the subject of 'manliness', what use is such a claim when you are lonely & single? Just means you would take longer when you tug tbh.Aion said:
You just have to know how to hold on to what makes you happy, & when many things make you happy it is easier because you have a lot to choose from & can still be happy even if you lose some.Aion said:
Anyways, lets keep this up, because you are making me lol with your failed arguments.
You have had a hard time in life so far Aion and I hope it gets better for you in the future. If I ever meet you I will remember to look past you angry exterior . Though I had a very happy childhood I still have a dislike of our modern society, all its commercialism and corruption. Plato predicted our current situation.
In the end it all comes from mankind's desires and emotions and they are needed. They force mankind to survive and to pursue areas that encourage survival and the continuation of the race. People think they make their own decisions but things like happiness make major decisions in your life and these are feelings that have developed over millions of years of evolution so that nature can push you in certain directions and make your decisions for you - these are inbuilt from birth I believe, as you said Aion.
It is unfortunate that these same feelings cause people to bully, take power, cause harm. Perhaps I rambled for a bit back there, I just wanted to share a little bit of my thoughts on human nature.
As for the IQ topic at the top well I really hate IQ tests. I don't like having a higher IQ than someone (it just makes me feel uncomfortable) and I don't like someone having a higher IQ then me because I feel jealous, unfortunately. I avoid IQ tests.
. Though I had a very happy childhood I still have a dislike of our modern society, all its commercialism and corruption. Plato predicted our current situation. In the end it all comes from mankind's desires and emotions and they are needed. They force mankind to survive and to pursue areas that encourage survival and the continuation of the race. People think they make their own decisions but things like happiness make major decisions in your life and these are feelings that have developed over millions of years of evolution so that nature can push you in certain directions and make your decisions for you - these are inbuilt from birth I believe, as you said Aion.
It is unfortunate that these same feelings cause people to bully, take power, cause harm. Perhaps I rambled for a bit back there, I just wanted to share a little bit of my thoughts on human nature.
As for the IQ topic at the top well I really hate IQ tests. I don't like having a higher IQ than someone (it just makes me feel uncomfortable) and I don't like someone having a higher IQ then me because I feel jealous, unfortunately. I avoid IQ tests.
chaos
The Boss
I've read all the posts and I'm glad to see that Christmas spirit is with us.
Aion, can't laugh from what you wrote. That's pretty f*cked up.
A song came to mind after all those posts though
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Aion, can't laugh from what you wrote. That's pretty f*cked up.
A song came to mind after all those posts though
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ayase
State Alchemist
I've spent a long time feeling disconnected bordering on inhuman, and with no direction to my life (and it does feel like you're just passing the time waiting for the reaper). But I think what has changed for me recently is that I've come to some conclusions about what I want from life, and about what makes me happy. Because for all of that time, I honestly didn't know. The only way I've come to realise is by trying things which I thought might make me happy, then narrowing the choices down when they didn't. Now I have a pretty good idea - And that's being able to do something creative and being around different, interesting people.Aion said:
That's fair enough and I won't expect a reply, but getting your thoughts out of your head can be a liberating feeling. I enjoy it immensely, in fact that's one of the reasons I intend to go back to blogging. Because then I can say what I think and feel without clogging up a perfectly good anime forum with off-topic **** and bringing other people down or making them feel uneasy. If it's my own little space then the people who will read and comment will be those who find me or what I have to say of interest. Similar to what you do with MAL I think - Speaking of MAL, I got that big message after all eh? Just in a different location.
And I wouldn't laugh at your story Aion, because as Morrissey once sang: "it's too close to home and it's too near the bone". You clearly had a worse time than me (hell, I mean you have AS - I was just small, shy, awkward and emotional) but I was still nodding my head at a lot of the feelings you had experienced. Until someone lays out the facts all you can do is speculate, and that's not something I like to do.
CitizenGeek
Guild Member
Both ayase and Aion - you guys seem to have had similar experiences in life and yet ayase appears to be very kind and patient while Aion appears angry and unkind. If it's true that people are shaped mostly by their experiences, then how can it be that you two could have broadly similar life experiences but that both of you seem to view the world differently (ayase does not appear outwardly cynical, Aion seems to despair in what he recognises as his own enormous cynicism). I realise I've probably misunderstood both of you, and my ability to empathise is very limited (because most experiences in my life have been hugely positive, and I have never suffered a protracted feeling of depression) but that is the question I'm left with after reading the extensive posts you guys have made on this topic.