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chaos
The Boss
Ah, I see. It's just that you mention your partner sometimes.Voddas said:
I feel your pain. When I moved to London, my friends who lived the nearest were a married with kids couple from Cambridge. They introduced me to a few of their friends from London who became my friends as well, but all of them married. Then, another friend moved to Surrey, which is close enough, but she was married - she tried to hook me up with her single friends, which were gorgeous, fun, intelligent and the shortest one was 6 feet tall. i have nothing against tall women, but they seem to have something against short guys...Dracos said:
Oh yes, two of the married couples are expecting, which leaves only one couple without kids and me. =S
It was snowing here as well, not enough to halt the trains, but enough to get them all delayed or cancelled - I wish there were more snow and the trains were all cancelled, so I could stay home todayNyani said:
ayase
State Alchemist
Balls to them, they're all boring conformists.chaos said:
This is what our society does to people, makes them think they're abnormal for not leading the same lifestyles as others. If you choose to be different you're invariably choosing to become an outsider amongst others as well. No offence to those married or in monogamous relationships with kids of course, but that's not the only or normal way to live - the prevalent view seems to be that it is.Q. F. F*cking. T.chaos said:
I love women but God do I hate the tedious dance that is relationships.
mangaman74
Akatsuki
Morning all
No snow yet, but icy & very cold due to the wind
No snow yet, but icy & very cold due to the wind
Will-O'-The-Wisp
Cardcaptor
I too am feeling the effects of the harsh Winter! Brrrrr @_@
On the plus side, I may have decided on the guitar I want this christmas...
( http://www.zzounds.com/item--SCEC1BMOON )
On the plus side, I may have decided on the guitar I want this christmas...
( http://www.zzounds.com/item--SCEC1BMOON )
Will-O'-The-Wisp
Cardcaptor
You make that sound like a bad thing XD
chaos
The Boss
Err, I was just mentioning that because this restricts the things we do together, but it doesn't mean me or them exclude ourselves on things we do. It's just a given that couples with kids would not go see a band they only like - they need to really love the band to arrange someone to look after the kids, sometimes travelling from another city, etc. I can invite them for a meal, but not for the cinema, unless it's a kids friendly movie and so on.ayase said:Balls to them, they're all boring conformists.chaos said:
I don't know. It's been a long time since I've been in one to remember how's it likeayase said:
The lady I was going out with is not replying to my txts or answering my calls. I hope she's in a coma, which would mean that she has a good excuse to ignore me =D
sweet =)Will-O'-The-Wisp said:On the plus side, I may have decided on the guitar I want this christmas...
( http://www.zzounds.com/item--SCEC1BMOON )
ayase
State Alchemist
Yeah, I get what you're saying chaos, I just have a tendency to go off on one WRT the way 'normal' people behave. Kids and relationships mean people have someone to think about besides themselves, which in turn makes them less likely to do things they want to do and more likely to do things they have to do... which is annoying if you want to do things with them which you know they would do if they didn't have kids / girlfriends / husbands. Doesn't happen to everyone of course. People with very equal partnerships are more likely to do what they want to, and their partners are more likely to be fine with that. But generally someone has the upper hand, or it flips back and forth.
That's one of the reasons I do most things alone (the others being general misanthropy and the aforementioned unwillingness to follow social conventions). Sometimes I think I've observed and analysed human interaction in too much detail to actually play a part in it any more. And that's exactly how it seems to me, like playing a part in a performance. Like following a couple of god damned flow-charts, one for socialising, one for relationships. The more I look at it, the less seems 'real' about 'real life'.
God, I'm full of philosophising this week.
That's one of the reasons I do most things alone (the others being general misanthropy and the aforementioned unwillingness to follow social conventions). Sometimes I think I've observed and analysed human interaction in too much detail to actually play a part in it any more. And that's exactly how it seems to me, like playing a part in a performance. Like following a couple of god damned flow-charts, one for socialising, one for relationships. The more I look at it, the less seems 'real' about 'real life'.
God, I'm full of philosophising this week.
chaos
The Boss
I've never thought of it this way. The "someone has to give" attitude is not something that I actually believe in. There are times you will do what you want, there will be times you will do what you have to do. Regardless of partners of family, this is a universal true.
People who do only what they want are extremely rare and I oscilate between admiring, envying, loathing pittying them. admiring because I can't see myself living like them, envying because sometimes I wish I could live like them, loathing because they live as they want and pittying because as they age, they will have a hard time adapting to the social rules such as having money to eat.
Some food for thougth:
http://www.whywork.org/action/lifestyle/jobfree.html
People who do only what they want are extremely rare and I oscilate between admiring, envying, loathing pittying them. admiring because I can't see myself living like them, envying because sometimes I wish I could live like them, loathing because they live as they want and pittying because as they age, they will have a hard time adapting to the social rules such as having money to eat.
Some food for thougth:
http://www.whywork.org/action/lifestyle/jobfree.html
ayase
State Alchemist
I wasn't really talking about work as such, more people's attitudes to their family lives, friendships and relationships. My point was that some people choose to give themselves more to do by starting families, devoting themselves to their partners, etc. Which, I dunno, everyone seems to see as such a good thing but in a lot of cases I don't think it's particularly good for them as individuals. Not that many of them are very interesting anyway, so for the most part I don't care. I just think it's a shame when interesting, independent people become beholden to others.
mangaman74
Akatsuki
Today several people at work have asked if it my desktop is a pic of Pikachu :roll:
chaos
The Boss
Oh, I see what you mean.
Some people trully believe in the better half thing and I notice on my friends, specially those who are together longer, how much of each other they "acquired" in the process of sharing their lives together.
In many of them I see how their personalities seems to fade a bit. I believe this is normal, as everyone can be influenced by others and if you start living with someone else, you're bound to assimilate a lot more. What I don't believe is not normal (or healthy) is to see their personalities change completely. In the instances I've seen this happening it hardly ended well.
I decided long ago that I'd be better off alone than in bad company. I can make compromises for the good of a relationship, but if my partner wants me to change completely, then I'd just tell her she's delusioned and is looking for something I'm not. It's harsh, it hurts, but I believe it hurts less than insisting on something that won't work.
Some people trully believe in the better half thing and I notice on my friends, specially those who are together longer, how much of each other they "acquired" in the process of sharing their lives together.
In many of them I see how their personalities seems to fade a bit. I believe this is normal, as everyone can be influenced by others and if you start living with someone else, you're bound to assimilate a lot more. What I don't believe is not normal (or healthy) is to see their personalities change completely. In the instances I've seen this happening it hardly ended well.
I decided long ago that I'd be better off alone than in bad company. I can make compromises for the good of a relationship, but if my partner wants me to change completely, then I'd just tell her she's delusioned and is looking for something I'm not. It's harsh, it hurts, but I believe it hurts less than insisting on something that won't work.
ayase
State Alchemist
Abso-bloody-lutely (though I won't even make compromises)chaos said:
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And we can make that choice, and others should of course be free to choose differently - doesn't stop it being kinda sad if they lose part of themselves though. Though that ties into what I said about socialising feeling so false - people do change depending who they're talking to, their perceptions of how others will react, peer pressure etc. and that seems just as unfortunate. I like people to be honest and be themselves, yet so few are. And that's doubly worse when you like someone and then find out that underneath they aren't really the person you thought they were, and that the face they were presenting to you was just a facade.
mangaman74
Akatsuki
We are finishing early today (Christmas meal time). Have a good weekend & see you next week
chaos
The Boss
The way I see, it's a mixture of social pressures and a fear of being / living alone. Many people is uncomfortable to be alone. I have spells of times where I rather not be alone, but after I started couch surfing, I've fixed that. When I feel like having people around, I just let a stranger come in an amaze me with their stories or different ways to see things. soem of them needs a cup of wine to loose their tongues thoughayase said:
But I'm digress. I do know a few couples that are great together, but individually, they are not much. There are people like that as well.
I've met a few people who went to high school with me a long time ago and it surprised me how they changed, as well as I surprised them how I changed. It was like changing from Metalhead / punk to an Yuppie in a couple years interval.ayase said:
A bit difficult, when most people are not sure who they are themselves...ayase said:
I guess it's part of being human. People are adaptable and have different personas that are shown for each individual enrivonment / persons around them.ayase said:
This is normal. I don't treat my dog the same way I treat my boss. Of course the dog deserve the best treatment as for my boss...
and such a deep converstaion over the light hearted thread....
Merry Christmas!mangaman74 said:
ayase
State Alchemist
Deep is good though, when it's not the wrong side of depressing. You can see throughout random chit-chat at the moment what happens when I have a lot of time on my hands... Don't think I've forgotten about other things though, there will be a review appearing tonight.
Even if it is fairly normal, I still don't think tailoring your behaviour to fit the situation is a good thing to do. Lot's of other 'normal' behaviour I don't like either... Making a change in your life for yourself is different to making a change for the benefit of others. I've made changes for myself. I think a lot of people make changes for others but delude themselves into thinking they've done it for themselves though. Who knows, maybe I have...
Anyway, enjoy your weekend Mangaman.
Even if it is fairly normal, I still don't think tailoring your behaviour to fit the situation is a good thing to do. Lot's of other 'normal' behaviour I don't like either... Making a change in your life for yourself is different to making a change for the benefit of others. I've made changes for myself. I think a lot of people make changes for others but delude themselves into thinking they've done it for themselves though. Who knows, maybe I have...
Anyway, enjoy your weekend Mangaman.
chaos
The Boss
Good manayase said:Don't think I've forgotten about other things though, there will be a review appearing tonight.
It just happens and ultimately, even if people tailor their behaviour to suit others needs, I believe the said people believes it would be the best for them as well in the end.ayase said:
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On another note, just had a discussion of what working for free means with my boss. My understanding is that if I work outside my contract hours I'm working for free - be it because I want to keep my job, I'm looking for a promotion, bonuses, raises or whatever.
My boss sees this as the unwritten rule everyone should just comply with.
I so wished I didn't need this job now !
Rena Ryuugu
Oyashiro-Sama
Hi everyone
There is snow where I am as well. I have already built a snowman which I did after my last day of college for the term
There is snow where I am as well. I have already built a snowman which I did after my last day of college for the term