What is love? (split from the AF17 thread)
- Thread starter Vashdaman
- Start date
Sparrowsabre7
Za Warudo
Tachi said:
I get the "cute" thing a lot =P I'm pretty short.
I'm not bemoaning my lack of relationships frankly, I pride myself on it, I don't really want to date for the sake of dating, I need to be connected with the person I'm dating.
Tachi said:
I admit foreplay is kinda lame for us, but I like doing it for them, if you catch my drift
Sparrowsabre7 said:
I mean how it's presented in popular culture. It's become like any other commodity like "Having this product is going to make your life perfect". Except that people aren't products. A lot of people have relationshps where they aren't very happy but they've just settled to have some kind of stability in their life.
Just look how romantic love is presented in Japanese popular culture compared with the reality of what Japanese society is really like in terms of gender relations.
ayase
State Alchemist
I used to, back in my teenage days when I was slimmer and had back-combed Robert Smith hair. Before I developed the dark aura and thousand-yard stare which have made me somewhat unapproachable.Sparrowsabre7 said:
I don't want to "date" at all, and I think that's probably where I fall down. I won't play by the socially acceptable rules of engagement. Initial encounters should follow a flowchart process to make them more efficient and produce better results.Sparrowsabre7 said:
Physical attraction? if Y > Sex? if Y > Enjoyable for both parties? if Y > Can stand each other for at least a few hours a day? if Y > Attempt relationship.
But no. It doesn't work like that. It works like this:
Physical attraction? if Y > Make socially acceptable excuse to spend time with them (I never have any socially acceptable excuses) > Wait socially acceptable length of time before asking them out (which is too long) > Find out you don't actually like each other and have wasted a massive amount of time and effort > Begin process again.
Sparrowsabre7
Za Warudo
Ark said:
still not sure about the individualistic part, but the japanese pop culture vs social culture si a good point.
I do agree there is a measure of deification of relationships in some media, but I don't know that people believe that for the most part. I mean I want a relationship, but that's because I've previously had one and I enjoyed the experience, I enjoy its reciprocal nature. I do not think of it as a fix all for life. Love won't buy you a house or a stable environment by any means, it may support you in doing so, but so do friends, familiy and any other enjoyable pasttime pursuits.
ayase
State Alchemist
I don't think this is a cultural thing at all, but rather a human nature thing. People need a reason to exist, and I think for a lot of people the reason for their continued existence is because they are loved / love others who they would miss or would miss them if they ceased to exist. I think children certainly play a big part in that. It's not a widely held (or popular) belief, but my personal view is the main reason (albeit subconscious) for having children is because it makes people feel needed and that there is a reason for them being alive.Corra said:
Vashdaman
Za Warudo
Yep that was what I was trying to say! Foreplay for us just isn't needed, but doing it for them is another matter.
Hmm, I dont get it, can you explain this point to me please.
I think one of the biggest problems is that the media tells us that if we are not in a long lasting relationship or married by a certain age then we cannot be happy, when in reality some of the happiest people will never get married. But as I said before we are marketed romantic love from as soon as we are born as pretty much the sole purpose in life. This often leads to people being unhappy or unfulfilled when they realize that a romantic relationship alone will not make them happy, or some people will become devastated when a relationship ends beacuse they have placed so much emphasis and attachment on the relationship being the main source of joy in their lives, without having any deeper purpose or practices in their life.
Oh man you have stop this Ayase. You make yourself seem so much worse then you actually are. I can tell just from your posts on this forum that you are a very intelligent guy with a lot to offer. I know you tend to have a somewhat pessimistic view of certain things, but at least be confident and proud of your strenghths.
This is absolutely true, its one of the main reasons why so many teenage girls from unhappy homes desire to have children at an early age.
Sparrowsabre7
Za Warudo
vashdaman said:
I get the feeling Ayase was just using self-depricating humour and not necessarily being serious.
As for the media vs social thing:
Just look at every japanese romance anime, most of which everyone's all "KAWAI!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!" whereas in reality women in Japan tend to be ... I don't know if I would say considered second class citizens, but they don't exactly have the same freedoms as men as I understand it.
Also a noteon the media telling us stuff thing: One thing I noticed about american sitcoms: all of them seem to present 6 months as some kind of interminably long time to go without sex and any longer than that they literally become insatiable sex-crazed beasts. (friends and frasier being two examples here) And I would say to them: 6 months? Seriously? You can't go that long without sex?
Not I'm not saying that 6 months without sex is a pleasurable prospect, but they should try adding a few more months on there before they come crying to me...
Vashdaman
Za Warudo
Ok I know what you mean in regards to the whole Japan thing now. I've never been there though so I can't really comment, but I do think expressing onesself freely is always a good thing, and it does seem that in some regards certain people in Japan (both men and women) can tend repress what they are feeling. I have a feeling as a result of partly this are all those crazy sex videogames and whatnot you get out there.
Although as I said I have never been there so I don't really know.
Although as I said I have never been there so I don't really know.
ayase
State Alchemist
Can I be doing both? I figure people might as well get a grin out of my misery (there are comedians who have made a living out of that). But to clear this up, everything I've said about relationships in this thread is 100% truthfully held belief.Sparrowsabre7 said:
Nice of you to say so Vash (a lot of male friends and family members have expressed similar sentiments - typical). I'll let you know when I've found some application for my strengths besides ranting about things on the internet.
Sparrowsabre7 said:
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*hides from queen rui*
Sparrowsabre7
Za Warudo
ilmaestro said:
Hey, it's in random chit-chat, it's your own fault for raising your expectations =P
MaxonTreik
Chuunibyou
It's still sad that one member gets to attention whore his own special thread when there are anime threads that don't make it past one page.
Tachi
Mushi-shi
Shuuya said:
*coughs* got something to say?
Not that i take much th heart whats said online, but i do tend to contribute outside of the Random Chit Chat subforum. Maybe you've spent too much time noticing my posts in 1 particular thread but missed my weekly posts in the manga subforum, the truth is, i try to keep uptodate with every single thread on here. I don't always feel the need to input my opinions for you all to see.
(for instance i was looking through the posts in the anime subforum yesterday and looking through shows that are to be shown in fall. Didn't feel the need to post as i don't use AOD or even crunchyroll but make mental notes of the anime and head over to MAL to check out reviews, i have a list at home of what anime i'm waiting to see if it ever makes it to R2 or not)
The General Convo thread is there for everyone to use, i've made it a personal goal to distance my posts in there and keep to the rule of only ever double posting after 3 days of nobody else posting. I alone haven't made that thread post count, others have been talking in it so i don't know what your problem, whatever the case maybe i hope you sort it out.