The .... How you find a girlfriend Thread

Right let me tell you lot a story, and I dont care if i get called a wuss for saying this.



Last year, I went to see a girl and meet her outside Starbucks. She brought her labrador with her we're not allowed entry to the coffee shop because of the dog. I've never been fond of dogs, ever. I never liked dogs. However I always wanted to see a labrador like those on the Andrex adverts.

She brought along a labrador. I like it. Its a nice and friendly dog but has bad habit of eating random stuff off the floor whether its hungry or not. She asked me if there is a place where we could do some dog walking. She should know because she lives in London, I do not! I texted one of my London mates and he suggested somewhere in Green Park.

We wondered around finding a restaurant or a cafe that has tables outdoors. Bella Italia had tables outside and decided to dine there. We sat there and ordered a portion of a number of garlic bread sticks each and a drink and we gossip for an hour.

Afterwards we walked the dog around Chinatown. A lot of people are checking the dog out and complimenting us. Apparently, labradors are popular. As time flies fast, I had to be in Kennington at 6.30pm as I got a meeting to attend. We went to the nearest tube station and catch the appropriate train. I took the northern line to Kennington and she took the picadilly line to Green Park and we kissed each others' cheek to say goodbye.


Now that is what I think it should be about, and even though she is a good looking girl the thought of sex did not cross my mind.
 
This is taken from the "Is it okay for a boy to like girly anime?" thread in the anime forum.
chaos said:
I can't see a relationship with someone who do not share at least one of my loves. If not anime, some of my other hobbies, but if the girl doesn't like any of my hobbies, I seriously doubt we could have a future.
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Even though it's ok to set goals, you can never say who you'll fall in love with, so I wouldn't get too set on that idea. The key part is understanding. If the other person shares an understanding of something you do or are interested in, they don't need to actually like it.
 
EpicLulz, that sounds like a brilliant day tbh :thumb:

I've always believed that to form a relationship you've gotta spend time alone with the person, random day outs and loads of talking,
Yes i believe in love at first sight. but no i don't believe in a relationship at first sight. things take time. and i dont think that teenagers (in general) understand this:
sex is a bonus to a relationship. its a goal you have to work at together to get that far into a relationship. sex isn't nor should it be the reason for the relationship.

i guess in short, finding a partner (girlfirend/boyfriend) is based on different things. if you meet over the internet personality is the decider that will either get you a date or not.
face to face people generally base on looks.

how many people have walked through town and had a goodlooking member of the preferred sex walk past, look you up and down and then directly in the eyes and smile? and how many times have you done the same? yet either way you both never amount enough courage to go say "hi" ?
thats why talking online is easier for most.

advice to anyone who likes someone but unsure what to do...act yourself, as if they do take things further and you end up together....they'll realise you where acting/trying to be someone other than yourself. And face your fears, pluck up the courage to make the first move. as soon as you've mastered that, picking up numbers or bf/gf's is easy.
 
Hmm to play devil's advocate a little I'm with chaos to some extent. I don't demand my partner is a clone of me but without some common ground in an interest I find it hard to enjoy spending time with the other person after the rose tinted glasses come a little loose.

For example, with my husband and I are both gamers, only he's more into PCs and I consoles. I don't play TF2 (actually I wouldn't mind but the PS3 version is a terrible port...) so aside from occasionally making spy jokes I leave that side of him alone, and he's happy to let me bury myself in the latest RPG or fighting game I've found. Our two hobbies are close enough though that we do have a lot of crossover and often chat about technology developments, new games on the horizon or join up to punch one another in Soul Calibur.

I'm so glad I love and understand his interests even if I don't always involve myself the same way. I'd find it difficult to understand if it was something weird like football he was being sucked into but with gaming I can appreciate when he's concentrating and why he wants blackout curtains in his PC room and so on without being confused.

Sorry, that all makes us sound unbelievably sad, haha. Anyway, my point was meant to be that for us the shared interests bring us closer. Possibly it's something that matters less for different people.

R
 
Adding more but in a new post as I tend to take 10 minutes plus to write these in between answering the phone here and someone might reply if I edit and get muddled!

Another thing I like about someone who genuinely shares your interests rather than just goes along with it is that you can do things as a team without one/both having to compromise all the time. For example for our honeymoon we went to Comic Market in Tokyo and did all sorts of silly fun things. I'd have been disappointed if I'd had to spend my honeymoon on a beach in the normal way so I feel very lucky I had a partner who didn't only understand but preferred my style of holiday too.

R
 
@Epiclulz - sounds like a great day and I love labradors. Had one at my mum's house, which obviously stayed with her, when I moved to Belfast.

Maxon said:
chaos said:
I can't see a relationship with someone who do not share at least one of my loves. If not anime, some of my other hobbies, but if the girl doesn't like any of my hobbies, I seriously doubt we could have a future.
Click to expand...
Even though it's ok to set goals, you can never say who you'll fall in love with, so I wouldn't get too set on that idea. The key part is understanding. If the other person shares an understanding of something you do or are interested in, they don't need to actually like it.
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I'm not saying I can choose, I'm just saying that I can't see i working with some common interests. Like I said before, I can't see a relationship based on se only, so without any common interests, what else could we do together and both enjoy?

Rui said:
Another thing I like about someone who genuinely shares your interests rather than just goes along with it is that you can do things as a team without one/both having to compromise all the time. For example for our honeymoon we went to Comic Market in Tokyo and did all sorts of silly fun things. I'd have been disappointed if I'd had to spend my honeymoon on a beach in the normal way so I feel very lucky I had a partner who didn't only understand but preferred my style of holiday too.
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That's what I mean. To do things as a team without having to compromise all the time. In general people are not simple minded that they have only one interest. most of the time I can manage to find things to enjoy together with different people without necessarily compromising.

I guess that we can only compromise with those we really love. but if we compromise all the time, we stop being ourselves.
 
I also think there is to much social pressure on young people in this day and age as well. You dont have to have sex when your 18 you know.

I mean in some cases you here bad storys such as getting a girl pregnant by accident by that age and then just leaving her...........was that 5 mins of fun really worth it for that to happen?

I mean I first had sex at the age of 24, Not because I could not get a girl but because I found it pointless doing it at a youger age. I did not care what everyone else thought they had been pushed into it at a younger age. And yes I was laughed at but I did not care because they do not seem to realize its not all about sex.

I find it not worth going for anything on 2 legs its not the point.
 
Voddas said:
If you were 24 when you first "rocked the casba" then do you mind if I ask how old you are now Epiclulz? Out of interest.
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26, im sure there is a reason behind your question i just cant figure out what. In any case I dont mind exposing myself to people offline let alone online. Ive told people irl the same thing when they have asked me a question about this whole topic.

I tell you when I was 18/19 I had a few girls giving me the eyeball, making approches at me etc, but I simply did not want that. I wanted to do it in my own time not what everyone else says. Those 5 mins of fun mean nothing to me if im not in a relationship and even then I wouldnt want to ask for sex all the time when im in a relationship.


On another note does anyone really have a need for sex at the age of 18 when there not in a relationship? If you can think of anything do say, I would be interested to hear it.



p.s good song that, very good group as well.
 
EpicLulz said:
Voddas said:
If you were 24 when you first "rocked the casba" then do you mind if I ask how old you are now Epiclulz? Out of interest.
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26, im sure there is a reason behind your question i just cant figure out what. In any case I dont mind exposing myself to people offline let alone online. Ive told people irl the same thing when they have asked me a question about this whole topic.
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No reason, I was just curiouse as you had a strong opinion on the subject of sex. I believe, as long as precautions are made, there is no problem with a two people to have sex from the age of 18 (or younger for that matter). The problem with people getting pregars at a very young age are because they didn't take the required measures. So really it's their own fault anyway. With great sex comes great responsibilty.
 
Oh yeah donr get me wrong there is nothing wrong doing it at the age of 18, I just dont agree with all this social pressure thing and that if you havnt done it by 18 then theres somthing wrong.
 
EpicLulz said:
Oh yeah dont get me wrong there is nothing wrong doing it at the age of 18, I just dont agree with all this social pressure thing and that if you havnt done it by 18 then theres somthing wrong. I mean as I say I could have done it responsibly at the age of 18 but I didnt want to till I found someone special and not treat them like an object.
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I see (wasn't meaning to argue sorry :3 ) No one should ever feel pressured into doing "the business". I feel sorry for those who do tho. It's something that should happen i your own time. The person doing the deed is the only one who'll know when their ready or not.
 
Voddas said:
I see (wasn't meaning to argue sorry :3 ) No one should ever feel pressured into doing "the business". I feel sorry for those who do tho. It's something that should happen i your own time. The person doing the deed is the only one who'll know when their ready or not.
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Indeed sir, problem is in this day and age pratically everyone feels pressured and I personally think it is a tiny bit horrofic. Im just a guy whos into compassinate love.
 
EpicLulz said:
Im just a guy whos into compassinate love.
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Stop being such a pussy. :evil:


This rather random virginity chatter has reminded me of a rather disturbing program I somehow found myself watching late at night a few years ago. It was about a UK senior school kid who was unpopular and found himself bullied even by girls. Out of pure desperation to become a man when everyone around him had lot their virginity, he allowed himself to be seduced by a granny and lost his virginity to a pensioner.

...I hope the above added to the virginity discussion on-going.
 
Aion said:
EpicLulz said:
Im just a guy whos into compassinate love.
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Stop being such a pussy. :evil:


This rather random virginity chatter has reminded me of a rather disturbing program I somehow found myself watching late at night a few years ago. It was about a UK senior school kid who was unpopular and found himself bullied even by girls. Out of pure desperation to become a man when everyone around him had lot their virginity, he allowed himself to be seduced by a granny and lost his virginity to a pensioner.

...I hope the above added to the virginity discussion on-going.
Click to expand...


a, I am not a virgin if you read my other posts.

b, Your post is the problem with young people in this day and age, if you think its fine to have sex with anything on 2 legs then go right ahead im not trying to preach with you or anyone else but I do wish a lot more people would have morals (of course thats not going to happen its just the way of the world unfortunatly)

c, Read Retrorainbows post just above yours she has mentiond the whole film/Hollywood ******** that I have allready mentioned in this thread. I f thats what yourself and many others would rather belive then thats fine by me. Go ahead rush into it see what happens.

This is not an attack on you dude, I could easily attack you seeing as you called me a pussy. Im just saying.

Because of Hollywood over the past 30 odd years everyone is like sex sex sex, just so they can make more money.
 
For someone who named himself 'EpicLulz', you lack wit and apostrophes.

I have no idea why an otaku girlfriend cry for help turned into an in-depth virginity discussion. However, I do agree that the world would be better if there was more romance and less lust in the world but there's nothing that can be done about the way people are.
 
Oh, so because of my name and because you only quoated ONE SINGLE LINE of my posts in this thread give you a reason to attack me and call me a pussy, does it? Did you know im not crying out for help? did you even read ANY of the other posts did you read the lines sayin girls are making approches at me? or did you just see the line "im a compassonate guy"? But good job finding an excuse to attack me while hiding behind a keyboard if you did fully read the other posts well done dude.

Anyway back on topic.
 
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