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This is going to be common going forward as we step further into the future and as those who gained fame in the 60s onwards get older and older, it was this decade going forward that many more people found fame as TVs became common household items and popular music was truly born.

Though it must also be said that the likes of Prince, George Michael and now Carrie Fisher have certainly passed much earlier than to be expected.

But yeah 2016 is just the beginning of this phenomenon and it's set to obviously continue from here on out.
 
Vashdaman said:
Oh man, I've finally realised I'm properly in love with my ex girlfriend, she's the one. She's like me, but if I wasn't a mess, and was successful and sweet. And I let her go. But I can't even say that was wrong, because I had to go through things and learn things about myself I probably couldn't have if I was in a relationship over the last two years. But I need to try win her back, but that's going to be a long shot, I broke her heart, and that was two years ago, she might have a bf now. Oh god what if she has a bf, and a really cool one?? Literally 98% of other men would make me seem like a ******* shambles of a human in comparison. I used to write her hilariously bad poems though, that counts for a lot right? I'm going to need to buy a train ticket.
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Well this ended badly for me. I poured my heart out to her in email since she didn't want to see me, I literally told her everything about me, every insecurity, every fear, why I broke up with her, how much I loved her, how things can be better a second time around. She just said simply that she's moved on, is in a new relationship, and can't see or speak to me again. I said I was happy for her, tried to be stoic, but then told her I want to marry her, via LINE. I told her I didn't expect a reply though, and needless to say I didn't get one. I was truthful to her in everything I said, but in hindsight I probably sounded mad, and it was probably very hard for her too, and unfair of me to have brought the past back up so intensely out of the blue, after she no doubt worked so hard to move on. I'm completely heartbroken beyond description, this is one of the worst pains I've ever had, I didn't eat for three days. But a part of me is at least glad that she now knows beyond all doubt that I'm worse off than her despite me initially breaking her heart, and she's probably very glad a nutter like me broke up with her when I did.

I'm cool though, starting to recover now.
 
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Sorry to hear that, old boy. Do those closest to you know that you're in your current state? I take it you could use a smidgen of comfort from them.
 
Man I'm such an idiot. I kind of wish I didn't tell my ex that I still love her and wanted to marry her. I mean, it was all true, but it was obvious she'd moved on and I had no chance. And where do you make the division between a longing for a real friendship that you'd lost and a longing for a real romantic love that you'd lost? I'm a fairly lonely person so maybe my desire wasn't as strongly the latter as I'd convinced myself? All the things that made me feel sure I was in love were personality qualities really, and nothing to do with her physical attractiveness or our sex life. Those things were amazing too, don't get me wrong, but they were the very last thing on my mind. So why couldn't I just have tried to get her friendship back. I know there are special intimacies in romantic relationships that transcend the sexual, but still, friendship could have still been so great.

She even said that our friendship wasn't over when I started sending her all those messages, it wasn't until I blurted out that I loved her that she said we couldn't talk anymore, and I think after I told her I wanted to marry her she just blocked me on the messaging app. Now I really have lost her completely, it feels like someone has died. Even after all the time we were apart, I always felt like we were both there for each other as friends if one was in need, even if contact was sporadic. It was a nice feeling to know I had a real friend there. Although in hindsight maybe she didn't find that as easy as I thought. As on one major occasion when I really did need a friend, I felt like she was being so distant, and wasn't there for me in the same way I would have been, and indeed was, for her. That was when things became sporadic really.

Should I tell any of this to her? It's a lost cause isn't it? I've ruined any chance with my big mouth. And after all I promised I wouldn't contact her again, and she's probably blocked all forms of communication with me anyway.

I hate this
 
I'm the last person anyone should take relationship advice from, but it does rather sound like those bridges have been well and truly burned, and the debris washed downstream into the ocean. It's probably not a good idea to turn round and try to cross the rapids. Just keep going forward. God knows I've gotten so used to it I keep a supply of mental molotovs ready at all times.

It also sounds like you want a more supportive and a more equal relationship really than you had, and the fact you're bringing up the fact you felt you were putting more into the relationship and she couldn't be counted on to be there for you would probably always have bothered you. But what the hell do I know, I never connect with anyone any more.
 
Thanks, you're right about the first thing, unfortunately those bridges have been burned. It's just hard for me I suppose because I've built so few bridges in my lifetime.

But in regards to the second point, while we were in the relationship it was actually very supportive and equal. It was 100% me that ruined it and ended things. She really showed me what unconditional love is. But I allowed myself to be led to believe that I "needed more experience" by certain people, and to doubt my own heart's feelings due to all kinds typical masculine stupid ways of thinking. I tried so hard to convince myself I made the right decision, and I wish I just accepted sooner that it was a mistake, when I still had a chance to put things right. It's hard to come to terms with losing love when you know it's all your own fault.

It was only after I broke up with her that we grew distant, and to be honest I'm 90% responsible for that too, I can't blame her for finding it hard or not possible to both move on successfully from me and to support me as a friend during my darkest hour.

But yeah, onwards and all that!
 
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It was an interesting read, but I'm always somewhat disappointed when anyone spends time identifying what they see as problems but goes on to offer no solutions. What was the point then? It's like a doctor very long-windedly saying "Right, I've identified you have cancer. Bye" The important thing isn't the problem, it's what can (or should) be done about it?

Ah, and our old friend Shintaro Ishihara again. I'm still kind of ambivalent towards the guy, I think that has to do with the grudging respect I always feel for unrepentant bastards. I mean some of the stuff he comes out with is pretty nasty, but I think his criticisms of American cultural imperialism and economic warfare are pretty spot on. Whether it was "specifically to subordinate Japan" I don't know, but I think "Japan’s economic problems in the 1990s were caused by American manipulation of the international financial system" is verifiable fact rather than Ishihara's biased nationalist opinion as the author of the article seems to imply. That isn't really much different from a lot of language we see used by the establishment to imply any criticism of global capitalism is now only "far-right" or "far-left". Also had a chuckle at this:

"Japan at the dawn of the twenty-first century is more like the United States, where nationalist rhetoric also sounds far less self-confident and more sullenly resentful than in the early post-war decades" This article was prepared for Japan Focus and posted on June 26, 2008
 
I get what you're saying, but I think that was the point of the piece, just to analyse the nationalisms of the modern Japanese economy from a historian's perspective. I'm assuming the author is more of an historian than anything else.

Though I thought the same as you did at the point about suggesting that the stuff about America's manipulation was just Ishihara's racist viewpoint more than anything. I thought that was a bit odd, because it pretty much is verifiable fact. Ishihara is a nasty bastard though, and I'm not going to respect him just because he's an unrepentant one.
 
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Yeah, I guess radicals to me are always just more interesting people to learn about and hear what they have to say. They discuss things more moderate people won't touch for fear of upsetting the apple cart or for their own reputations. Yukio Mishima is probably the more interesting of the two, I'd be interested to read some of his books at some point, but Ishihara is interesting in his own way because rather than topping himself he stayed around.

It's always good to learn and try to understand history and how it influences the present, but the only real point of doing so is so you can act on that information. In my opinion, we're still living with the consequences of Gavrilo Princip tightening the grip on his index finger over a hundred years ago. That's a hell of a legacy, not to suggest I'm condoning shooting archdukes or anything.
 
Yeah, but that's up to us, the job of historians isn't to tell us how to act, just to show us as close as possibly what the reality of the past was.

I do kind of get what you're saying about lunatics who say whatever thing that pops into their minds. Indeed, most, if not all, of my favourite musicians and artists fall into that category, and perhaps so do I if my verbal diarrhea on here is anything to go by (and it is. I've lost more than one potential friend due to sending them genuinely innocent poetry that I suspect was misinterpreted, or they just think I'm nuts). But I don't think an uniformed idiot like Ishihara is discussing anything that better informed people aren't, he's just saying stupider thing. Though I'm with you on Mishima being interesting (he was nuts, but he was an inspired creator, and many of those kinds are nuts). To be honest Boris Johnson has gone on record saying stuff every bit as hateful and wrong as Ishihara has, and I don't find that twat interesting either, twats always rise to the top.
 
Some more good bits on Japan and Nihonjinron and stuff
ejcjs - Melting Pot or Homogeneity? An Examination of Modern Theories of the Japanese Ethnicity
The 'Illusion' of Homogeneous Japan and National Character: Discourse as a Tool to Transcend the 'Myth' vs. 'Reality' Binary"”—— | The Asia-Pacific Journal: Japan Focus

I think Rui is way cleverer than most of these academics. I often read something and remember that Rui already basically made the same point to me on here ages ago. You could definitely become an amazing Professor of Japanese Studies, Rui, if you're not already one.
 
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Come to General chat to see newest post
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Oh...oh
well thats put a bit of a damper on the mood. sometimes I wish the forum had a high contrast theme
 
I'm always a bit bemused when using a language exchange website and people approach me with an opening message along the lines of "Hi I'm a Japanese person very interested in English culture and I was wondering if you could help me improve my English. However I know nothing about anime and manga, as not all of us like it as foreigners tend to think, so if you are interested in that stuff please find a different language exchange partner."

I mean, I can sympathize with them having to talk to hordes of raving otaku, if they do. But still...it's just such a strange opening gambit, and I'm obviously not going to reply to that, my interest in anime and manga precludes me from doing so anyway. It's almost akin to me sending a messge "Hi I'm looking for a Japanese language exchange partner. However, I know nothing about Downton Abbey and do not look or talk like Mr Darcy. If you are interested in such stuff please do not reply, thanks."

Actually maybe both are pretty good opening lines, blunt but at least up front I guess.
 
There should be an specific otaku language exchange programme. I mean, we can't possibly have more than Japan. There must be enough that some of them would enjoy corresponding with their foreign equivalents.
 
Almost every Japanese person I have met online in a casual capacity has been desperately disappointed in my lack of knowledge about English football so it definitely goes both ways...

R
 
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