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This week's been pretty good - went to a gig last night, first for a while; though it was pretty late so I was exhausted when I got home.

Been trying out a few different methods of getting through my backlog (which is way too big right now) too - I still can't decide whether sticking to one show at a time or flicking between what really takes my fancy on any given night is better.

I finished my rewatch of Madoka too - that show still absolutely blows my mind. And I finished the first series of Black Butler too, which I'll now always think of as the anime version of Downton Abbey.
 
st_owly said:
Valentine's Day is a holiday invented solely by greeting card manufacturers to extort money from you. Do something special when you want to, not when society dictates that you should. Plus everything's so much cheaper afterwards anyway.
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Exactly. Same goes for diamond engagement rings...but that's a discussion for another day!

My valentines day will be spent playing Majora's Mask on the 3DS and waiting for the 15th, aka half price chocolate day. Might go all out and crack open a bottle of wine.... or two ;-)
 
I'm intolerant to chocolate :cry: but I can have a little bit. White chocolate is usually ok!

Today my friend is coming round and she's going to watch Fate/Zero with me. I'm so excited, I'm convinced she'll love it. She's not hugely into anime but she studies psychology so I think she'll get quite into it, there's a lot of characters she can analyse.

I had planned to go out with another friend for a meal, we were just arranging it for a Saturday before we clicked it was Valentine's Day, so we've moved it to the week after. Then again, my mum went out last year for dinner and it wasn't that busy.
 
-Danielle- said:
'm potentially being shafted by my own bf val day though
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Isn't that the usual order of business on Valentine's day? Sorry, couldn't resist.

While my rational mind entirely agrees with owly's assessment of Valentine's day, the fact that the concept of romantic love is publicly rubbed in the faces of those who aren't currently experiencing it (but would quite like to be experiencing it) for an increasing length of time each year does grate somewhat. I am an incredibly jealous person, it's one of the personality flaws I've consistently failed to overcome, and as a result the Valentine's period becomes "That time of year I'd like to punch everybody I witness kissing in the gut" and that's not a particularly positive feeling to have for any length of time.

As for meeting people, that's one thing I have been able to improve albeit with the help of counselling and therapy. Lutga is right about about hanging around with people you know have similar interests, but you don't get to know people without talking to them and if you're interested in making friends it's on you to make the approach. I'm fully aware that can be scary as f*ck and lead to all sorts of anxiety (not to mention feelings of embarrassment or guilt afterwards). I probably wouldn't ever have learned to do that without professional help, because my parents were similarly socially useless and never encouraged me to be outgoing. Some people are fine on their own of course, I'm not suggesting everybody needs other people, but if you do want other people in your life (as I do) then it's up to you to find and get to know those people, you can't expect them to find you. It is possible to find good friends or relationships online, but it's very hit or miss and you can wait an age and expend massive amounts of effort for zero return.
 
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Yup - online relationships have never really worked for me. People I got to know through forums and stuff felt like 'best friends' at the time, but five or so years on, I haven't spoken to many of them in years. It's that thing of - could you sit comfortably in a room and just chat, with natural pauses and stuff, or would it feel forced? Even the online friends I met in real life - any sense of friendship was more just because a) you were swept up in the enthusiasm for whatever you both liked (in this case, being obsessed with a certain band) and b) you were just so happy to have friendship/contact with people of any kind.

In my eyes, friendship is about naturalness - if you can feel completely comfortable with someone, and happily contact them out of the blue with any concern or bit of randomness, then you're probably on to a good shout.
 
Valentines day is overrated anyway! I think out of all the ones i've spent with a female, I only have one that I look fondly on, and that involved an amazing Indian restaurant with the best Chicken Tikka and best customer service i've ever got! We turned up slightly drunk just as they were closing and they let us in so it was just the two of us, gave us candles to add to the ambience, turned the lights down low, complimentary wine and just made for an excellent meal!
 
I have never done anything for Valentine's Day in my life. I'll be with my partner simply because... I'm always with my partner, but we don't give gifts or go out or do anything and never have. When I was young I was under the impression that it was the day you were supposed to ask people out if you were single to lighten things up, rather than a 100% commercial couples' holiday designed to make everyone feel tense and miserable.

I'm a loser who made all the friends they currently have from the Internet, so I regrettably have no good advice to give on the deeper subjects. If anything I have the opposite problem, in that I never want to be as close to others as they seem to want to be with me, and I end up annoying would-be friends if I don't make this clear early on ^^;

R
 
I think full synthetic bodies will eventually be the way to go. Imagine if you could even look like a stylised sculpture of some sort, or for people who don't even see any value or beauty in the human form they would no longer be limited to it. Maybe some would have a male body for the week and a female one for the weekend. Imagine race and gender becoming truly meaningless and all the stupid politics around those things simply going away (though doubtless there'd be more moral outrage over transhumanism, thanks Francis Fukuyama, you luddite). That's what I believe in, really. Freeing people from their limitations. We're doing quite well but we haven't yet conquered death or ageing and I think those should be quite high on the list. Once people start living for millennia instead of barely a century, perhaps society can actually start making some progress with long-term vision.
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This would be so wrong and cause so much craziness in my opinion. But I'm sure you would have guessed that would be my reaction, as I'm one that does believe in the intrinsic meaning of life ect.

As for making friends, that's a hard one. I think what Ayase says is true, going places where you meet people with similar interests is a good start. However, in my experience, it's not worked out so simply. I've been places where I've been around people with some of the same interests as me. And while I did make some loose mates (but certainly not "close friends"), I found the majority of those people I often actively disliked and didn't want to spend any extra time with (despite definitely wanting friends). I found it's same anywhere, 99% of people you won't make much of a real connection with, but if you're lucky you might find that 1% who you do form a deep bond with. I really don't think it matters what environment or place it is. Or maybe it does, and I just haven't found that place yet. Still, I have been lucky enough to find a couple of those 1%er soul m8s, and I'm more grateful enough.
 
It depends what people's values are - for most people, friendships, relationships and sex are the no. 1 values in life. It's what makes life bearable, working through a crappy job and low pay to hit the weekend and go boozing with your mates. For others, it's a hobby, sport or intellectual pursuit that provides that same kick. You go with your priorities, and life generally falls in line with that. I've met many people for who a relationship was the be all and end all - they'd be straight up on Tinder if they broke up because they just couldn't stand to be alone.
 
I need to have all those things (along with rewarding occupation, or at least working towards it) to be happy unfortunately, or fortunately. Really. I can be happy if I'm not in a romantic relationship as long as I have all of those other things, along with the absolute unshakable belief that I inevitably will end up with my soul mate (it's pretty high on my life's goals list). I also can also be happy if I'm in an incredible romantic relationship but have none of those other things. It's like a pillar. But I would never, never ever use Tinder or any form of internet dating. Under no circumstances ever.

I've been through a few years at points in my life where I've had very few of any of those things though. That's hard. It's what I call "the desert".
 
It's my 29th birthday today guys. That's rather deprEssing writing that lol. Had a meal out last night at a usa themed restaurant called coast to coast here in Birmingham. Got a family gathering tonight then going my mates on Saturday for a day of watching football and watching films! Exciting stuff lol.

Big 30 next year. Think I'm gonna have to go to the west coast and then vegas or something!
 
Happy Birthday Britguy!
Between myself, friends, work colleagues and AUKN posters, there seems to be a birthday every week at the moment. I celebrated my 21st on the 21st of Jan. People keep telling me that I'm still a baby though!
 
Happy Birthday britguy!

Mangaranga said:
Happy Birthday Britguy!
Between myself, friends, work colleagues and AUKN posters, there seems to be a birthday every week at the moment. I celebrated my 21st on the 21st of Jan. People keep telling me that I'm still a baby though!
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My 21st was on the 23rd January :D
 
Cheers for the Birthday wishes guys!

st_owly said:
Happy birthday britguy. Any good presents?
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I sort of told people not to bother buying me stuff for my birthdays because I find them pretty meaningless and tbh it's so close to christmas so I dont want my family having to spend too much money. I said if they really wanted to buy me something they had a limit on what they could spend!

I got some high street vouchers, some money, a new big and snuggly dressing gown, a new DVD/BD shelf, a framed collage of photos of my nieces and nephew and the coup de grace, a toilet brush and a collander, the latter two are things I really wanted but couldnt be bothered to byuy myself :lol:

All in all i was happy with my gifts, things i'll definitely use :)
 
Rui said:
I have never done anything for Valentine's Day in my life. I'll be with my partner simply because... I'm always with my partner, but we don't give gifts or go out or do anything and never have. When I was young I was under the impression that it was the day you were supposed to ask people out if you were single to lighten things up, rather than a 100% commercial couples' holiday designed to make everyone feel tense and miserable.
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Men asking women out Rui? That makes them creepy objectifying borderline rapists these days, did you not get the memo? What the applicant needs is an "Intention to Apply for Consensual Relationship Form 1-A" which after being scrutinised gives them the go-ahead to ask the recipient out, but does not guarantee their response. If the application is accepted and things go well, both parties need to sign and date "Consent to Sexual Act (2-A to 9-X)" forms and video taped statements to confirm full consent and soundness of mind before proceedings commence.

By contrast to all these horrors which are happening to the world of love and romance, your relationship sounds very natural Rui. It's nice that people can be perfectly happy and content together without feeling the need for grand gestures. However, I would quite enjoy those gestures because that's the sort of awful hopeless romantic I am. As the awful jealous person I also am, seeing others doing that is unfortunately depressing. But that's entirely my problem and no-one else's.

vashdaman said:
I need to have all those things (along with rewarding occupation, or at least working towards it) to be happy unfortunately, or fortunately. Really. I can be happy if I'm not in a romantic relationship as long as I have all of those other things, along with the absolute unshakable belief that I inevitably will end up with my soul mate (it's pretty high on my life's goals list). I also can also be happy if I'm in an incredible romantic relationship but have none of those other things. It's like a pillar. But I would never, never ever use Tinder or any form of internet dating. Under no circumstances ever.

I've been through a few years at points in my life where I've had very few of any of those things though. That's hard. It's what I call "the desert".
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I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love as The Beatles sang. But then nor does anything else appear to buy me love either, so it would be nice to at least have the money.
 
Men asking women out Rui? That makes them creepy objectifying borderline rapists these days, did you not get the memo? What the applicant needs is an "Intention to Apply for Consensual Relationship Form 1-A" which after being scrutinised gives them the go-ahead to ask the recipient out, but does not guarantee their response. If the application is accepted and things go well, both parties need to sign and date "Consent to Sexual Act (2-A to 9-X)" forms and video taped statements to confirm full consent and soundness of mind before proceedings commence.
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What gives you this impression? Have any women actually accused you of being these things for asking them out? Even if one did, you can't think this way, it will drive you crazy and make you hesitant to do something that's completely above board and decent. Don't even contemplate that people could think in such a crazy way, and carry on an usual. As long as you're respectful I can't imagine you getting many of those weird reactions, and if you do get them then you know it's because the person you asked just isn't all there, and not someone you'd want to be with.

However, I would quite enjoy those gestures because that's the sort of awful hopeless romantic I am.
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:thumb: :thumb: I'm all about those grand gestures too. Even when I try and tell myself hold back on that stuff, I can't seem to.
 
That wasn't written entirely seriously, but I do enjoy it when people can't tell.

I think it's right enough though that the "rules" of the "game" are becoming more and more complex, and less and less agreed upon from person to person. And that makes social contact, which should be one of the most natural things in the world, very complicated indeed. You're right though, the solution is just to tell idiots of any gender to f*ck off. That's more or less what you said, right?
 
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