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In a fight between a Skoda Fabia and a Merc M-Class, the rear end of a Fabia comes off a bit worst when the M-Class drives into it :(
 
My best friend is down from Aberdeen for the weekend so I got to see her for a while today. Really miss her so much and feel the time today was just far too quick. Wish I could spend more time with her but she's booked a driving lesson for while she's down and she had to go :( She got home late last night and is leaving early tomorrow.

I really hope I can get up to see her next month. Contact has been horrible as her laptop is broken and our phones are so hit and miss!! Messages go missing, phonecalls don't get through. It breaks my heart.

Next April I have to decide if I'm going to be joining her up there. So much to think about :cry:
 
PandoraHane said:
My best friend is down from Aberdeen for the weekend so I got to see her for a while today. Really miss her so much and feel the time today was just far too quick. Wish I could spend more time with her but she's booked a driving lesson for while she's down and she had to go :( She got home late last night and is leaving early tomorrow.

I really hope I can get up to see her next month. Contact has been horrible as her laptop is broken and our phones are so hit and miss!! Messages go missing, phonecalls don't get through. It breaks my heart.

Next April I have to decide if I'm going to be joining her up there. So much to think about :cry:
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Most of my friends are a couple of towns away from me, but I still don't get the chance to see them, with work and time-costing distractions (i.e. chores) taking up all the time between us. I'd want to move out nearer to them at some point so I can actually go out and meet them by foot. But that's just idealism on my part, and I need to focus on getting money and a good enough wage etc to do stuff in the 1st place. That's my priority.

If opportunity knocks in another county or country, I'd have to take it - even if I leave my current circle of friends behind. I'd make new ones there, but hopefully meet up with the old ones still on occasion. I just don't think moving somewhere because of your friends or feelings for them is an ultimately sound plan for the long term future. This is my thoughts, so if it makes you feel more comfortable, just plan it through thoroughly and I hope it works out.
 
Hmm, it's kinda complicated. The plan was always to join her to go to art school, which is something we both wanted for ourselves as we met in art college. But, due to certain circumstances, I couldn't apply this year. However, the time here to think is making me doubt if it's what I still want. Obviously because of that she's become a factor.

She's said to me she'd love me to come up whether I decide to apply or not and then get in or not. I'm not sure I could justify moving if I didn't. Therein lies the problem :( I feel I'm almost betraying us both.

I would never make a decision that is against my own best interest, but I've kinda put myself in a position. I just wish things had worked out this year. I can't tell if it's depression that is making me question what I thought I'd always wanted, or if I just genuinely don't want it anymore. How can I not know what I want?
 
PandoraHane said:
I would never make a decision that is against my own best interest, but I've kinda put myself in a position. I just wish things had worked out this year. I can't tell if it's depression that is making me question what I thought I'd always wanted, or if I just genuinely don't want it anymore. How can I not know what I want?
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Trust me, that's a question that's common in a lot of people, so don't feel you're being picked on or that you're broken. Unfortunately, we all have some degree of depression at a time.

Hell, all of my dreams are already shattered - As a kid, I wanted to be a Pro-wrestler: That was cut short when I realize it's not a realistically stable career choice.
I refuse to join the Police, even if I wanted to. I had a personal realization when I was in college doing uniformed services course that made me go from part-time Protestant to full-time Agnostic, as well as less desire to help humanity as a whole.
At Uni, I went for 4 years trying to learn Ceramics, but now I don't have a kiln to fire up anything I make - Kind of pointless, except for helping my creative side. Just need to think of a mix-media project I can work on, or just stick to the hobby of drawing.

But even through all that, I know that if I just stop dead in my tracks and at least move forward, I'd find another source of optimism and joy. Maybe a degree of success in an area I'd never thought I'd be or prefer. But I still don't know where I want to be, and I'm getting older. That's just how things are.

You'll come to an answer for yourself at some point. Thinking about it extensively in one moment wont come to anything but stress. But come back to it in parts and just figure bits out, piece by piece. You've got time on your side for now, use it wisely.
 
Chaz said:
You'll come to an answer for yourself at some point. Thinking about it extensively in one moment wont come to anything but stress. But come back to it in parts and just figure bits out, piece by piece. You've got time on your side for now, use it wisely.
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That's good advice. It's been stressing me out at random moments when I give myself too much thinking time. Just gotta keep going, do my portfolio for me and then decide if I want to submit it or not :)

It's not the end of the world. There's nothing to say it would even have to be next year. Guess it's just that desire to always have a purpose and something to do with your life.

I'm sure I'll figure it out. It's not like I can't change my mind. I'm 20, I've been to college, had a part-time job for 6 years. Not like I've achieved nothing I suppose. So long as I don't sit still for these next few months I'll be ok.

Thank you very much for the advice and for listening ^_^
 
You have to remember as well that she'll have already had a year up there to make friends etc. You may well find that even if you do go up there it might not be everything you'd hoped for. I'm not meaning to stomp on your dreams, but beware of the rose tinted glasses.
 
Of course, I've had the conversation with her too. I said how much things could change in a year, I've went through it before. I won't pin all my hopes on her. It's about figuring out what I want for me, even if it means I have to go my own way. I definitely appreciate the thought though :) thank you.
 
st_owly said:
You have to remember as well that she'll have already had a year up there to make friends etc. You may well find that even if you do go up there it might not be everything you'd hoped for. I'm not meaning to stomp on your dreams, but beware of the rose tinted glasses
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Aye - It's a circumstantial conundrum, but Para, you can only find out if you go up there, or go the other path and just focus on where you are now and look for other options. It's a life choice with a crossroad in it - "Every choice, a consequence."

PandoraHane said:
Chaz said:
You'll come to an answer for yourself at some point. Thinking about it extensively in one moment wont come to anything but stress. But come back to it in parts and just figure bits out, piece by piece. You've got time on your side for now, use it wisely.
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That's good advice. It's been stressing me out at random moments when I give myself too much thinking time. Just gotta keep going, do my portfolio for me and then decide if I want to submit it or not :)
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Heh, I just take the boring route but it's stable and I guess I can be patient at time. Good for you! At least you'd have something to present if you decided to become professionally passionate about it!

Thank you very much for the advice and for listening ^_^
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Not a problem at all, happy to help. Just glad it's made a difference for ya. Cya around!
Act Out.
 
I'm definitely of the mindset of always putting yourself first too - that might sound really horrid and cynical, but I've seen too many cases of the opposite leading to heartbreak and wasted emotions. From my own experiences, and others', I'll look back and think 'How did that ever seem like a good idea at the time?'

Every day of your life is a learning experience, where you get more and more comfortable with the choices you make and the life you want to lead. Your twenties are when you go from figuring things out piece by piece to perhaps finally having just a little bit of insight about where you might be headed, and when you start to get a handle on that, it feels great.

It's hard to let go of other things sometimes, but trusting in your gut instinct usually comes out good in the end.
 
Lutga said:
trusting in your gut instinct usually comes out good in the end.
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This seems like one of those things people say who have either not had much life experience or have been exceptionally lucky. Then again, it's never seemed to make much difference whether I trust my instincts or not. Perhaps the times I've done so it's had the slight advantage leaving me broke, alone or jobless instantly rather than that taking several months or years to happen. Which meant I could move on to the next disappointment faster, I suppose.

Personally it's always been a dream of mine to find a friend or lover far, far away who I can go live with and leave this God-awful country and everything and everyone in it behind.

You've all missed me and my cheery disposition so much, haven't you?
 
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Now I just find myself wishing 'life, please be kind to me!!' :lol:

Honestly, I'm just way too caught up in something that should be pretty simple. It really is just a case of wanting to avoid unnecessary hassle and heartache. Though I know the odds are it's going to end up featuring those. Just got to work hard and keep a teeny bit of optimism!
 
ayase said:
Lutga said:
trusting in your gut instinct usually comes out good in the end.
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...

This seems like one of those things people say who have either not had much life experience or have been exceptionally lucky. Then again, it's never seemed to make much difference whether I trust my instincts or not. Perhaps the times I've done so it's had the slight advantage leaving me broke, alone or jobless instantly rather than that taking several months or years to happen. Which meant I could move on to the next disappointment faster, I suppose.

Personally it's always been a dream of mine to find a friend or lover far, far away who I can go live with and leave this God-awful country and everything and everyone in it behind.

You've all missed me and my cheery disposition so much, haven't you?
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A good point - although sometimes I think it just takes time for that gut instinct to bear itself out.

A few years ago I had a choice, and I went with my gut instinct - and three months later I really regretted that choice and thought I'd screwed everything up. But three months down the line something came up that completely changed my life for the better - an opportunity that would never have emerged if I had taken the other route the first time round. So while initially it seemed I'd made a bad choice, six months later it actually turned out I'd made the 'right' one.
 
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Well it looks like someone might have gotten hold of my card details.

I checked my bank statement and I originally thought I was being ripped off for the Visual Novels back at the con. Turns out it wasn't that but something else.

The issue is, I have no idea what this 'US Anime US' or 'USANIME' thing is and it's apparently taken about $165.75 (£110) of my money. I haven't bought anything that big since I got those UP1 packages and it ain't them. I'll have to contact the bank after I finish my Uni sessions today, this is going to be stressful. I think before it took my cash out it was called 'San Diego' or something. If anyone here recognises that name, that would help.

UPDATE - That might have been the payment for those Visual Novels. That's it, I'm not going to a con with card ever again.

UPDATE 2 - I think I know what happened. The guy (who was obviously from America) told me the price for Saya no Uta was £40, but what he probably didn't tell me was that he was paying them in Dollars so in other words $65. School Days was probably much higher than that and there may have been some card charges as well (like getting cash out of ATMs or VAT charges).

Note to myself: Get more cash out of the ATM before the doors open.
 
Do you think it all adds up then? I hope it does :(

To be honest, I always lift money before cons but that's because I never know if they'll actually have card machines and if I had free access to my card I'd probably just buy the hall. I have very poor judgement when I'm faced with so many options.
 
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