The General Conversation Area

[Deleted member 4555]

“There will be a lot of people watching who will wonder what does a true Scotsman wear under his kilt, and I can tell you a true Scotsman will never tell you what he wears under his kilt. He will show you at the drop of a hat”

@Neil.T is this true!

 

[Neil.T]

A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair. “Comfy?” asks the dentist. “Govan,” she replies.

Explain this one @Neil.T

I knew it! You're cheating and looking these up, aren't you?

It's "comfy" as in "Whar d'ya come fae?" meaning "Where do you come from?"

Her answer is "From Govan" (a Glasgow district).

Where are you finding these?

 

[Deleted member 4555]

*Sigh* I'm only friends with 25 letters of the alphabet...


I don't know "Y"

 

[Neil.T]

@Neil.T is this true!

Well, I don't like to boast, but...

 

[Captaaainuniverse]

Why don't you impale it on a stick and fry it like Ray Mears would? Protein and all!

actually nor a bad one, bur you wanna bear grills it up. ray mears is the crisps from round the corner to bear's wrestlin' a wild 'og to the floor

 

[Deleted member 4555]

I knew it! You're cheating and looking these up, aren't you?

It's "comfy" as in "Whar d'ya come fae?" meaning "Where do you come from?"

Her answer is "From Govan" (a Glasgow district).

Where are you finding these?

https://inews.co.uk/light-relief/humour/jokes-scotland-comedy/

 

[Neil.T]

*Sigh* I'm only friends with 25 letters of the alphabet...


I don't know "Y"

Jeez, these are stacking up like a p*ss-poor Tetris player.

 

[Deleted member 4555]

actually nor a bad one, bur you wanna bear grills it up. ray mears is the crisps from round the corner to bear's wrestlin' a wild 'og to the floor

I laughed! XD Comparing Ray Mears to crisps though XD

 

[Deleted member 4555]

Jeez, these are stacking up like a p*ss-poor Tetris player.

Hey, I resent that, I am a p**s-poor Tetris player!

Also, thank you for explaining that Glasgow joke...and...the kilts...

 

[Deleted member 4555]

No dogs = nae dugs XD

 

[Deleted member 4555]

I tried sueing an airline company once for losing my luggage...


As you can guess, I lost my case!

 

[Neil.T]

https://inews.co.uk/light-relief/humour/jokes-scotland-comedy/

Bookmarked.

actually nor a bad one, bur you wanna bear grills it up. ray mears is the crisps from round the corner to bear's wrestlin' a wild 'og to the floor

But, dude: doesn't Bear Grylls cheat and stay in hotels overnight or something?

 

[Deleted member 4555]

Two windmills on a windfarm. One asks the other, "what kind of music do you like?"


The other replies "I'm a big metal fan"

 

[Neil.T]

No dogs = nae dugs XD

Aye, nae dugs. Thur's nane at a'.

 

[Deleted member 4555]

Bookmarked.


But, dude: doesn't Bear Grylls cheat and stay in hotels overnight or something?

Thought you'd like it, some classic Billy Connolly on there too!

 

[Deleted member 4555]

Aye, nae dugs. Thur's nane at a'.

Except guide dugs?

 

[Neil.T]

Two windmills on a windfarm. One asks the other, "what kind of music do you like?"


The other replies "I'm a big metal fan"

It took me an extra moment to get that one!

 

[Deleted member 4555]

It took me an extra moment to get that one!

Come on Neil, come on!

 

[Deleted member 4555]

An atom loses an electron...

It says, "man, I really have to keep an ion them..."

 

[Deleted member 4555]

But, dude: doesn't Bear Grylls cheat and stay in hotels overnight or something?

I heard about this, but wasn't sure if it was true. Apparently, he's a bit of an a$$hole as well...again, I only heard that from a lady I used to work within the NHS. I think she said her husband met him doing something (dunno what)...