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~AyaMachi~ said:
Thanks to you as well, it means alot to me. I'm sorry for being so negative, but I'm just not used to actually speaking out about this; I have no-one TO speak to about it! I try to just function as best as I can because I HAVE to. I'm just trying to make the best of my current situation, but it's a struggle sometimes for sure! This is the worst I've felt, ever, I'm not going to lie - I've suffered with depression on and off over the past few years but last year just took the biscuit! You may be different, but you're still a human being. For what it's worth, I've grown up around so much negativity and cynicism - my family are incredibly bitter and judgemental and it's only in recent years I've been able to worm my way out of their influence and actually educate myself and learn that actually NOT everyone is horrible and bad and ther actually IS good in the world if you want to find it. The issue with is that I suppress my morals and values because...well, I still live here with my folks! For what it's worth I enjoy talking to you and you make me smile ^^ I was chuckling to myself earlier at that NGE caption from yesterday!

I'm really glad that you do have friends that are there for you though, you're very lucky! Haha, yeah, don't get me wrong, even as an introvert, I love meeting people, but I always know when I've expended my social energy! I only wish I still had my cat to snuggle with :(

EDIT: You're not miserable :)
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No need to thank, I consider you as much of a friend as I can someone I’ve never met and only talked to online! If I can lend a hand whether it be venting or whatever I’m happy to oblige. I know what it’s like and it’s not nice or easy to deal with.

Yes I’m very lucky to have the friends I do. I appreciate them a hell of a lot. I’m the same with social stuff. I can only deal with it for so long then I need some time to myself. It’s so stressful and draining dealing with people. Pets can certainly help fill the bridge between being alone and being with someone.

Ooh more flattery! Can I have more now? You’re going to make me a flattery whore!
 
Phobos said:
Yes, it’s definitely a tough situation. I don’t know what to say or reccomend. I guess ultimately nothing changes without you changing it but then there’s all that duty/responsibility stuff. Personally I ended up on some meds which helped even me out a little. That didn’t solve everything but then I never expected them to.
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Hey it's cool dude, I'm not really looking for a solution to be honest, just some validation I think. Just an understanding that I'm not alone and there are people who have been through similar and can at leat say, "yeah, I get that, I really do...". Thank you though :)

Neil.T said:
Yeah, that's very insightful. I think I identify with you there as well.

And if I run out of data, I run out if data. **** it. Just trying to make it last the month.
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My parents are not confident people, and my own Mother suffered with anxiety and depression, so it's inevitable that growing up in a stressful environment would have it's consequences. I can't talk to my family about personal issues, because I literally cannot trust them with my emotions! It's a simple as that :( I love my family, I just don't sit on the same moral plane as they do anymore! When you become educated in social matters, you realise just how closed-minded you were growing up!

Maybe you need a little hamster to generate data power for your phone ^^
 
HWR said:
my lack of maintaining eye contact
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Hmm, yeah, I guess. That applies to my friend too. But, you know, sometimes little things can come across even in writing.

I remember aaaages ago, in one of the other threads, you did once sort of hint about it, now I think about it.

Anyway, like I say, it doesn't come across here. Just thinking out loud.
 
Neil.T said:
Hmm, yeah, I guess. That applies to my friend too. But, you know, sometimes little things can come across even in writing.

I remember aaaages ago, in one of the other threads, you did once sort of hint about it, now I think about it.

Anyway, like I say, it doesn't come across here. Just thinking out loud.
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Ah that's interesting, I don't know anyone else with autism so I don't have any comparison points. I have mentioned it once or twice but these things get lost in the sea of posts and Dandy gifs.
 
Phobos said:
No need to thank, I consider you as much of a friend as I can someone I’ve never met and only talked to online! If I can lend a hand whether it be venting or whatever I’m happy to oblige. I know what it’s like and it’s not nice or easy to deal with.

Yes I’m very lucky to have the friends I do. I appreciate them a hell of a lot. I’m the same with social stuff. I can only deal with it for so long then I need some time to myself. It’s so stressful and draining dealing with people. Pets can certainly help fill the bridge between being alone and being with someone.

Ooh more flattery! Can I have more now? You’re going to make me a flattery whore!
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That means alot to me, thank you very much :) Anyone who has even 1 close friend is really lucky in my book....but yeah, I just literally become drained - there have been times in the past when I've actually seen freinds in town and I've deliberately tried to avoid them! Cll me sappy, but my cat was just...there. A pet's friendship is unconditional and Neko always seemed to sense if I was feeling off...I was there when he passed away, and to say it was heartbreaking would be an understatement...

This is starting to get to your head now @Phobos ;)
 
~AyaMachi~ said:
Hey it's cool dude, I'm not really looking for a solution to be honest, just some validation I think. Just an understanding that I'm not alone and there are people who have been through similar and can at leat say, "yeah, I get that, I really do...". Thank you though :)
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That’s good as I’m not trying to give a solution as basically there isn’t a one size fits all option up for grabs here. Just feel like I might as well share my experiences and thoughts on this stuff as they could potentially be useful to someone at some point.
 
I get what people mean about not being able to talk to family. For me personally it was certain family members that kept f*cking everyone over. I had enough and just walked away. Then everyone took that family members side, not the one that had been there for literally years picking up the pieces and sorting their sh*t for others. Some gratitude eh?
 
Phobos said:
That’s good as I’m not trying to give a solution as basically there isn’t a one size fits all option up for grabs here. Just feel like I might as well share my experiences and thoughts on this stuff as they could potentially be useful to someone at some point.
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Believe me, I feel a ton better already having just been able to vent here! I know things aren't going to sort themselves out over-night, and Lord knows I'm doing what I can under the circumstances. But just to have people at least understand and validate means alot, and what you've shared is useful for sure.

I don't know, just a smidgeon of good fortune is all I want; I'm not greedy. I'm not even ambitious in life - I just want to be comfortable - have some cool people to hang with, a job I'm comfortable in and lets me get buy with enough spare to treat myself to the odd anime/manga/figurine etc...a modest car, just, stuff that's attainable, anad yet even now that kind of stuff seems so out of reach! I actually worry that I'll get a job and I won't be able to keep it because I've just become so inept at functioning at a reasonable level these days!
 
Neil.T said:
Yeah. But keep them coming, baby!
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HWR said:
I have a duty to keep Dandy's legacy going, baby!
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Made me laugh loads! ^^

Phobos said:
I get what people mean about not being able to talk to family. For me personally it was certain family members that kept f*cking everyone over. I had enough and just walked away. Then everyone took that family members side, not the one that had been there for literally years picking up the pieces and sorting their sh*t for others. Some gratitude eh?
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It's so wierd; sometimes I wonder "are there people out there who have the same family dynamic that I have? It's COMPLETELY dysfunctional!" It's difficult to even explain it to people, but maybe I MAKE it difficult because I'm genuinely worried that they just won't get it. It's so easy to mock people in their 30's who still live at home, but it's not like I have a choice! Society puts so much pressure on milestones in life - "do this by this age, do that by that age", it's just rubbish as far as I'm concerned! I wish I could walk away, if only it were that easy!
 
HWR said:
My Mum told me about it, might sit down and watch it one day. What's cool is that I do have some autistic people to look to in culture (such as Gary Numan)
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I like Gary Numan, he seems like a top bloke. My Dad saw him live years ago, and when I became frustrated at not being able to read music (I taught myself to play keyboard/piano), my Dad told me that he was sure Numan taught himself to play as well!
 
HWR said:
My Mum told me about it, might sit down and watch it one day.
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It's an insightful and fascinating watch. I had no idea that Packham is autistic.

I think if you're interested in points of comparison, you might gain something from watching it.

And big up Gary Numan.
 
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