Phobos
Titan
Yes, I know what you mean. I had a near constant supply of sleeping meds to help with that. It was the best solution at the time but probably caused more sleep problems in the long run.
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Phobos
Titan
Oh definitely, my bestie I met by random chance. Rock climbing. Then I met his ex wife... who happens to be my OH. Does this make me a terrible person?!?
D
Deleted member 4555
Guest
In all honesty I think I do need a new mattress but I'll have to make do for now. Sometimes though I do just struggle; possibly because of mental/emotional fatigue...
Phobos
Titan
(Kyon on the right.
)
We’re buddies and all but I’m not kissing you. Just no.
Phobos
Titan
I’d have to say the mental/emotional side effects a great deal. When my circumstances changed so did my sleep. On a side note I’d also have to say pain effects sleep adversely also. Sucks when pain is caused by sleep deprivation and sleep deprivation is caused by pain. It can be a viscous cycle.
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Deleted member 4555
Guest
Hey that sounds really cool
I used to go kickboxing once a week, then my back kept putting out. I did a bit of circuit training as well (I'm really not the athlete that you may be picturing right now though XD). But in time it would be great to be able to pick up those sorts of activities again, I really enjoyed it!You're NEVER terrible Phobos
Only terribly funny ^^
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Deleted member 4555
Guest
It makes sense. Some nights I do just dread going to bed but I try and just remind myself that tomorrow is a new day and all that though. It just gets exhausting when you're a positive person who really does try to make things work, but nothing seems to happen - it just becomes emotionally exhausting and you wonder how much more you can really take; it explains the reason why I've just become so numb to everything - I don't want to get my hopes up too much in case nothing happens, yet I need the barest minimum to keep functioning...
I'm not expecting miracles here, but just a glimmer of hope
Phobos
Titan
Just take things at your own speed. If you pick them up again there’s no need to do them all the time. There’s no shame in taking some time off.Hey that sounds really cool
You're NEVER terrible Phobos
Glad you think so highly of me!
Back into data-saving mode for me now, but just wanted to say...
@~AyaMachi~: I really sympathise with what you've been saying. A lot of it applies to me too.
But this:
@Phobos:
@~AyaMachi~: I really sympathise with what you've been saying. A lot of it applies to me too.
But this:
Nobody should be made to feel bad for feeling bad. That's awful.
@Phobos:
I guess that means a ******* is out of the question, then? Spoilsport.
D
Deleted member 4555
Guest
Oh for sure, I'm expecting to do loads of things all at once, but it's good to know there options out there for getting involved socially. As someone who doesn't drink you need to have other avenues away from "clubbing" XD
I'd say it's good to vent sometimes, I just shout expletives at whatever game is owning me. Since we're on the topic I've all but accepted my permanent state of numbness and depression. I think it's just something that accompanies my autism. I can't see the world and people like everyone else, so they'll always be a sense of isolation.
However, I do have a small amount of friends who have put up with me and I enjoy socialising occasionally (though truth be told I don't have a problem staying in and relaxing or just going for a walk with my doge.)
I may be miserable but I'm happy to post on here, it's a lot easier to express myself with typing than in person (terrible at conversations unless they're very topic orientated otherwise I just do the listening.)
However, I do have a small amount of friends who have put up with me and I enjoy socialising occasionally (though truth be told I don't have a problem staying in and relaxing or just going for a walk with my doge.)
I may be miserable but I'm happy to post on here, it's a lot easier to express myself with typing than in person (terrible at conversations unless they're very topic orientated otherwise I just do the listening.)
D
Deleted member 4555
Guest
Back into data-saving mode for me now, but just wanted to say...
@~AyaMachi~: I really sympathise with what you've been saying. A lot of it applies to me too.
But this:
Nobody should be made to feel bad for feeling bad. That's awful.
@Phobos:
I guess that means a ******* is out of the question, then? Spoilsport.
Thank you Neil, it means alot that you can understand also. I don't expect you to expend any data-usage for my sake though!
As for my Mum, it's more of a defense thing: she isn't a confident person and she doesn't really know how to approach me if I'm feeling upset. She reacts that way out of fear; it's the way it's always been, but she tries too hard to make everyone happy, and she therefore expects everyone to be happy, even if they're not. She needs to understand that you can't please everyone - one person's happiness can be another person's equal misery...in this case it's mine; my Sister gets to be the one just merrily carrying on with life with no worries or responsibility...
Haha, I still ship it!
Captaaainuniverse
Time-Traveller
Don't have much time to clip down a quite for phobos too but the numbness, the loneliness, the sense of dread and feeling/knowing the only way to end suffering is to die, you guys aren't alone in feeling that. I lost my mum nearly 2 years ago and my dad is now always with the girlfriend he's had for nearly a year now, the brother that lives with me is on a different shift, so I'm hardly able to talk to the only people who've felt the closest to me for years. I'm sick of feeling alone, but I also don't really see a way out of it. I've mentioned my ambition to at least want to get off my arse and start writing web comics, not wanting to fade out without doing anything meaningful keeps me going
To cheer the thread up abit though, has any one seen my thread? Tin Foil Haberdashery: Ergo Proxy, the live action series! course post your thoughts on it there
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Deleted member 4555
Guest
Thanks to you as well, it means alot to me. I'm sorry for being so negative, but I'm just not used to actually speaking out about this; I have no-one TO speak to about it! I try to just function as best as I can because I HAVE to. I'm just trying to make the best of my current situation, but it's a struggle sometimes for sure! This is the worst I've felt, ever, I'm not going to lie - I've suffered with depression on and off over the past few years but last year just took the biscuit! You may be different, but you're still a human being. For what it's worth, I've grown up around so much negativity and cynicism - my family are incredibly bitter and judgemental and it's only in recent years I've been able to worm my way out of their influence and actually educate myself and learn that actually NOT everyone is horrible and bad and ther actually IS good in the world if you want to find it. The issue with is that I suppress my morals and values because...well, I still live here with my folks! For what it's worth I enjoy talking to you and you make me smile ^^ I was chuckling to myself earlier at that NGE caption from yesterday!
I'm really glad that you do have friends that are there for you though, you're very lucky! Haha, yeah, don't get me wrong, even as an introvert, I love meeting people, but I always know when I've expended my social energy! I only wish I still had my cat to snuggle with
EDIT: You're not miserable
I'm a grumpy git in person, but on here where I can talk about anime and everything else I'm Dandy, baby!Thanks to you as well, it means alot to me. I'm sorry for being so negative, but I'm just not used to actually speaking out about this; I have no-one TO speak to about it! I try to just function as best as I can because I HAVE to. I'm just trying to make the best of my current situation, but it's a struggle sometimes for sure! This is the worst I've felt, ever, I'm not going to lie - I've suffered with depression on and off over the past few years but last year just took the biscuit! You may be different, but you're still a human being. For what it's worth, I've grown up around so much negativity and cynicism - my family are incredibly bitter and judgemental and it's only in recent years I've been able to worm my way out of their influence and actually educate myself and learn that actually NOT everyone is horrible and bad and ther actually IS good in the world if you want to find it. The issue with is that I suppress my morals and values because...well, I still live here with my folks! For what it's worth I enjoy talking to you and you make me smile ^^ I was chuckling to myself earlier at that NGE caption from yesterday!
I'm really glad that you do have friends that are there for you though, you're very lucky! Haha, yeah, don't get me wrong, even as an introvert, I love meeting people, but I always know when I've expended my social energy! I only wish I still had my cat to snuggle with
EDIT: You're not miserable
Phobos
Titan
Yes, it’s definitely a tough situation. I don’t know what to say or reccomend. I guess ultimately nothing changes without you changing it but then there’s all that duty/responsibility stuff. Personally I ended up on some meds which helped even me out a little. That didn’t solve everything but then I never expected them to.It makes sense. Some nights I do just dread going to bed but I try and just remind myself that tomorrow is a new day and all that though. It just gets exhausting when you're a positive person who really does try to make things work, but nothing seems to happen - it just becomes emotionally exhausting and you wonder how much more you can really take; it explains the reason why I've just become so numb to everything - I don't want to get my hopes up too much in case nothing happens, yet I need the barest minimum to keep functioning...
I'm not expecting miracles here, but just a glimmer of hope
Yeah, that's very insightful. I think I identify with you there as well.
And if I run out of data, I run out if data. **** it. Just trying to make it last the month.
I didn't know you were on the autism spectrum, dude. It doesn't come across here. (A friend of mine since forever is on the spectrum, too, you see, so I have perhaps a bit of insight.)
D
Deleted member 4555
Guest
Oh man, I'm sorry to hear about your Mum passing
I often feel bad for not feeling close to my family, but the truth is, the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water from the womb and all that. Family aren't always healthy people to be around, even if they're blood. Don't get me wrong, they've done their best by me, but I've also felt wronged by them as well at times; it's broken my trust, especially as they're supposed to guide you when you're growing up...I know what you mean, it sucks to be lonely. I think there is a way out of it, but it's a situation so many people of this generation find themselves in for whatever circumstances...I really do hope you can find the motivation to do your webcomic
Oh I did read your thread earlier; it looks really good but I haven't seen the series in question though so I didn't really feel like I could add anything to it right now Thanks for your understanding though, it's encouraging to know that I'm not alone and that people understand, not that I WISH this on anyone or want people to feel this way!
Well to be fair it isn't something you can really see with writing necessarily, even if you met me in person it wouldn't be immediately obvious (although my lack of maintaining eye contact and meaningful conversation about anything asides anime and film might be an indicator.)