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My Grandma died and my selfish insert strongest expletive aunt has made the funeral ridiculously short notice to ensure people can't get up there except her (aunt's) own children, meaning my Grandma's other children aren't going to get to say goodbye, along with lots of other family.
My Grandma sadly developed dementia so aunt decided to take control but then she took her up to Scotland far away from family and complained that nobody went and saw her or helped look after her; having no regard for the cost or people's ailing health whatsoever.
 
Thanks. I generally deal with death well. It's never been something that has bothered me too much (should add if I'm kinda expecting it / older age). I'm just very angry about the situation. I have suggested arranging a memorial for everyone but said aunt & the spawn that spewed from her.
 
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serpantino said:
Thanks. I generally deal with death well. It's never been something that has bothered me too much (should add if I'm kinda expecting it / older age). I'm just very angry about the situation. I have suggested arranging a memorial for everyone but said aunt & the spawn that spewed from her.
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What an awful situation but this sounds like a good plan. Having toxic people in the family is so hard as it's so much more difficult to avoid them. But you and yours need to grieve properly so I think it's a good call.

I missed my grandmas funeral last year because of covid and it sucked so I think your suggestion is totally the right idea.
 
WMD said:
What an awful situation but this sounds like a good plan. Having toxic people in the family is so hard as it's so much more difficult to avoid them. But you and yours need to grieve properly so I think it's a good call.

I missed my grandmas funeral last year because of covid and it sucked so I think your suggestion is totally the right idea.
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I'm sorry to hear that :(.
It's mostly my mother I'm concerned about because, as cold as it may sound, a body is just a lump of rotting meat to me, there's nobody in there anymore so touching a bit of wood that houses it or carrying it around doesn't have a lot of significance to me. I really hope that doesn't offend or upset.

As for family, I've never put much stock in the concept; I only care what people do & how they interact with me. Shared genes only gets you the slightest leeway & so toxic members can & have gotten cut off without any remorse.

My partner has a very close family & just can't understand how I can be like that but for me it's been necessary for my survival to just cut people off physically and emotionally without looking back.
 
serpantino said:
It's mostly my mother I'm concerned about because, as cold as it may sound, a body is just a lump of rotting meat to me, there's nobody in there anymore so touching a bit of wood that houses it or carrying it around doesn't have a lot of significance to me. I really hope that doesn't offend or upset.
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Not at all. I'm not quite on that level but I was similar in that it was my mum I was worried about. It affected her really bad. She seemed to have convinced herself my grandma would live forever whereas I'd had a few years of realising I might not see her again so i was on some level ready for it as cold as that sounds.

serpantino said:
My partner has a very close family & just can't understand how I can be like that but for me it's been necessary for my survival to just cut people off physically and emotionally without looking back.
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Yeah everyone is different. I have a friend and we would play drinking games with her parents but that would never in any way happen with mine. It always struck me as wierd to be that close to your family but I guess from her point of view I'm the weird one.
 
Thanks for talking about this stuff here guys, it's helping me understand my own relationship with familial mortality a bit better. Sorry again for the difficulties you've both had :( <3
 
serpantino said:
My partner has a very close family & just can't understand how I can be like that but for me it's been necessary for my survival to just cut people off physically and emotionally without looking back.
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WMD said:
Yeah everyone is different. I have a friend and we would play drinking games with her parents but that would never in any way happen with mine. It always struck me as wierd to be that close to your family but I guess from her point of view I'm the weird one.
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It’s interesting, my immediate family are the people in the world I am closest to, and I think I’d have gone totally insane if I didn’t have them to relate to (ha). I have no doubt genetics played a role in that because I look like I was created using the same algorithm as The Sims, like I’m literally a 50/50 blend of both of my parents. While my sister doesn’t look nearly as sim-like and more like a tweaked reincarnation of my maternal grandmother, I have still never met anyone I am more similar to in my life, which can be both comforting and horribly frustrating. It’s easier to see flaws in other people than it is yourself, and whenever we get p*ssed off at each other I strongly suspect it’s because we recognise in each other things we don’t like about ourselves. I don’t know if she sees that in quite the same way, but for me it’s definitely a case of “Why are you like this... Wait, I’m like this. I don’t want to be like this either” which makes it frustratingly difficult to ever offer her any advice because we’re so similar we’d probably do more or less the exact same things given the same situations, for better or worse.

As for death, I have sympathy for anyone who is affected by the death of a loved one but I have long since come to terms with my own and everyone else’s mortality (to the point I pretty much expect it at any time now and have run through the scenarios of everyone I know dying in my head already) so it no longer has as much of a sting.
 
RadFemHedonist said:
Thanks for talking about this stuff here guys, it's helping me understand my own relationship with familial mortality a bit better. Sorry again for the difficulties you've both had :( <3
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Have you ever seen Cinema Therapy? It's a channel on youtube. It's really good, I think you'd enjoy it. They do character, relationship and behaviour analysis using films to help explain the point. They have character studies on characters like Iron Man, Wanda, Elsa etc. Then have videos about things like bullying using Harry Potter and toxic relationships using Twilight.

Even though the topics can be heavy and sensitive one of the guys is a therapist so it's generally handled well and with care.
 
WMD said:
Have you ever seen Cinema Therapy? It's a channel on youtube. It's really good, I think you'd enjoy it. They do character, relationship and behaviour analysis using films to help explain the point. They have character studies on characters like Iron Man, Wanda, Elsa etc. Then have videos about things like bullying using Harry Potter and toxic relationships using Twilight.

Even though the topics can be heavy and sensitive one of the guys is a therapist so it's generally handled well and with care.
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I'll check it out at some point thankyou for the recommendation :)
 
WMD said:
What an awful situation but this sounds like a good plan. Having toxic people in the family is so hard as it's so much more difficult to avoid them. But you and yours need to grieve properly so I think it's a good call.

I missed my grandmas funeral last year because of covid and it sucked so I think your suggestion is totally the right idea.
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Especially when the toxic people who haven't made contact in 15+ years (last communication was via a lawyer as she claimed that grandpa told her son that he could have his army medals but the will said differently) start crawling out of the woodwork.

Probably all she is after is wanting to make up tall tales of being promised verbally
some years ago, or to cause trouble.
 
I've just been dragged to the pub for the first time in 2 years & been & been bought 7 pints of ale & half a cider (pallete cleanser) so this could be nothing more than the ramblings of a drunken loser.
 
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serpantino said:
this could be nothing more than the ramblings of a drunken loser
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Eh, join the club. A lot of what you’ve written there is sadly familiar territory to me (there’s a reason I said “immediate” family) but I’m not sure how deep I want to get into my own personal history being currently sober myself... You can’t choose your family though and I certainly don’t begrudge anyone making the decision to distance themselves from people who have negatively impacted their lives, related or not.
 
ayase said:
Eh, join the club. A lot of what you’ve written there is sadly familiar territory to me (there’s a reason I said “immediate” family) but I’m not sure how deep I want to get into my own personal history being currently sober myself... You can’t choose your family though and I certainly don’t begrudge anyone making the decision to distance themselves from people who have negatively impacted their lives, related or not.
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It's cool. For the sake of privacy I've removed most of it. I've no problem whatsoever sharing with people on here but there's no real ability to make that distinction online... My hangover kills this morning & I'm shuffling about in the rain pulling miles of bind weed from a 'wild flower' garden.
 
Hello everyone. It’s been a very long time since I was last on here and I’m hoping to remotely keep active again as I’ve been really lonely more than not since this pandemic.

Had something fizzle recently with someone I like too so it’s just made matters worse so I’m trying to keep my head busy which also now includes attempting to rewatch Bleach! I got upto season 8 last time and I own to 12/13. I’ll buy the rest if I get that far 😂

I hope youre all well.
 
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starting to wonder if it's fate for me to never watch Napping Princess, think i got it in the 2019 christmas sales and decided to wait until the summer when the olympics started to watch it which ofcourse got delayed a year, did plan to watch it last week when it started but decided to switch to watching it when the olympics endthinking the olympics last a month when it actually finishes next week and concentrate on 1 evangelion movie a week until 3.01+1.01
 
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