Write an unromantic haiku

[Dai]

Here are the rules:

• Syllable structure must be 5-7-5
• Must include a seasonal theme (otherwise it would be a senryu, not haiku)
• Must start romantic, but end unromantic

Examples:

Changing face of March
Chill of winter slips away
Now file tax return

Sweet summer maiden
Your ripe melons on the beach
My bat will smash them

 

[Neil.T]

O long, harsh winter
Your endless pure white vista
It's too f**king cold

 

[RadFemHedonist]

Summer comes in June
Bringing warm nights and parties
I sweat profusely

 

[Dai]

Autumn leaves tumble
I run through their dry cascade
Wolves are chasing me!

 

[Neil.T]

A summer stream flows
Its crystal waters glisten
I will p*ss in it

 

[RadFemHedonist]

(No that is so gross
Please do not defile this fine
Body of water)

I dream of autumn
Wish for peace and happiness
And a new textbook

 

[Neil.T]

A summer stream flows
Its crystal waters glisten
I will p*ss in it

(No that is so gross
Please do not defile this fine
Body of water)

I've now got an image in my head of a haiku battle. Not a rap battle, but a haiku battle.


Anyway, this one's dedicated to my girlfriend and her move here so that we can be together:

Seasonal walks through
The park hand in hand dodging
Dog sh*t on the ground

(
Love you loads~!)

 

[Donut]

I really love you
but sometimes I think about
how you NEVER ******* flush

and:

Unanimous love
Over various pizzas
except pineapple

and:

Your beautiful eyes
full of so many feelings
World Domination.

A summer stream flows
Its crystal waters glisten
I will p*ss in it

can I get this engraved please Neil, beautiful honestly beautiful

 

[Dai]

I really love you
but sometimes I think about
how you NEVER ******* flush

and:

Unanimous love
Over various pizzas
except pineapple

and:

Your beautiful eyes
full of so many feelings
World Domination.




can I get this engraved please Neil, beautiful honestly beautiful

Those are senryu
Since there's no seasonal theme
Just like this one (lol)

 

[Donut]

Those are senryu
Since there's no seasonal theme
Just like this one (lol)

Oh wow, senryu
that was unintentional
let me try again:

Humid summer days
has anyone ever said
you need deodrant

 

[ayase]

Your beautiful eyes
full of so many feelings
World Domination.

What’s unromantic about this one?

 

[Neil.T]

can I get this engraved please Neil, beautiful honestly beautiful

Bless! You're too kind, Donut.
It's public domain now, so have at it if you want!

This one of yours, though.

Your beautiful eyes
full of so many feelings
World Domination.

Genius. I think it was the bold type that caught me out as well.


(There's no haiku here. I'm all out at the moment.
Soz.)

 

[Dai]

Summer's early days
The solstice has barely passed
Christmas ads start soon

 

[RadFemHedonist]

Now longest day has gone
Start preparing for winter
Buy gift wrap and cards

 

[Dai]

September heat fades
Thunder echoes past the hill
Rust on window sill

 

[Dai]

Piercing shrieks resound
Through the house this ice-chilled morn
It's a faulty tap

 

[Herano]

My winter tea steams
Chatting while it's still dark
Wide awake at four

 

[Herano]

Hugging on the couch
This HBO series sucks
Winter is coming