Write an unromantic haiku

Dai

Pokémon Master
Here are the rules:
  • Syllable structure must be 5-7-5
  • Must include a seasonal theme (otherwise it would be a senryu, not haiku)
  • Must start romantic, but end unromantic

Examples:

Changing face of March
Chill of winter slips away
Now file tax return

Sweet summer maiden
Your ripe melons on the beach
My bat will smash them
 
A summer stream flows
Its crystal waters glisten
I will p*ss in it
(No that is so gross
Please do not defile this fine
Body of water)
I've now got an image in my head of a haiku battle. Not a rap battle, but a haiku battle. 😆


Anyway, this one's dedicated to my girlfriend and her move here so that we can be together:

Seasonal walks through
The park hand in hand dodging
Dog sh*t on the ground

(😅👍
Love you loads~!)
 
I really love you
but sometimes I think about
how you NEVER ******* flush

and:

Unanimous love
Over various pizzas
except pineapple 💀

and:

Your beautiful eyes
full of so many feelings
World Domination.


A summer stream flows
Its crystal waters glisten
I will p*ss in it

can I get this engraved please Neil, beautiful honestly beautiful
 
I really love you
but sometimes I think about
how you NEVER ******* flush

and:

Unanimous love
Over various pizzas
except pineapple 💀

and:

Your beautiful eyes
full of so many feelings
World Domination.




can I get this engraved please Neil, beautiful honestly beautiful
Those are senryu
Since there's no seasonal theme
Just like this one (lol)
 
can I get this engraved please Neil, beautiful honestly beautiful
Bless! You're too kind, Donut. 😂👍
It's public domain now, so have at it if you want!

This one of yours, though. 👇😂
Your beautiful eyes
full of so many feelings
World Domination.
Genius. I think it was the bold type that caught me out as well. 🤣


(There's no haiku here. I'm all out at the moment. 🤷‍♂️
Soz.)
 
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