And if some of those fans don’t appreciate it, but don’t actually let them know that at the time, how are said celebrities supposed to know they are crossing a line?
Obtaining consent is great, but it’s not exactly human nature when people don’t think they’re doing anything particularly objectionable in the first place, and if the people who do object don’t make that known at the time.
That thinking scales up to some very uncomfortable assumptions if the person taking the action has any gaps in their personal judgement.
"Oh, well if I do this, it will make them feel good, so it has no drawbacks for them! I'll just go ahead and do it; they'd go out of their way to protest if they had self esteem and weren't comfortable!"
It takes literally seconds to ask someone,
"Hey, want a peck on the cheek for fun?" or
"Wanna hug?" before violating their personal space. It costs nothing. It empowers them by inviting them to express their side before letting your own views dominate the interaction, and shows you're a considerate person who puts comfort before personal pleasure. I actually find it quite attractive even in situations where the outcome is already a given. I would argue that it
is human nature for many people - I've certainly never once had the compulsion to grab random strangers since I was old enough to understand that I wasn't the centre of the universe. Our level of respect towards others is something that comes from our upbringing, and while I fully understand that some people will be raised in much more touchy-feely environments than others, I don't think either is more natural than the other.
But seeking consent is always less harmful to the other party than not seeking consent might be. Perhaps there is a tiny minority of people who would feel uncomfortable being asked for consent rather than dominated outright, but I'm not sure I've ever heard of any groups who would feel as violated and unhappy in that situation as someone who was kissed or touched against their will. I'll stick with groups I actually know exist for this debate.
There's a strong correlation between anime fans and those who struggle with social skills (and indeed, in anime fans and people with ASD, and I
think it's widely known that people with ASD often have sensory issues). It's very evident at cons. But even so, I don't think it's actually normal to want and appreciate random physical contact from strangers in wider society either. If I jump on the tube or a bus right now and let my hand touch that of another passenger holding on to the same support, or sit down next to someone on an otherwise empty bus, or press myself against them (in a completely non-sexual way) because I feel like it and don't dislike the feeling of physical contact to the same degree, I'm still pretty sure that I'll have enough dirty looks and cleared throats to shame any red-blooded Brit into submission within seconds. People like to have their personal space respected by default, and the fact that a lot of people are too scared/relaxed/confrontation-averse/distracted to kick up a fuss doesn't invalidate the value of consent.
I'm all for the 'traffic lights' idea. Let's start off by assuming nobody wants unsolicited physical contact, catcalling or other interference by default, then have all of the people who
do want that stuff wear badges to express their level of comfort. Easy. Opt-in systems are easier to run than having the majority of people needing to opt out. We can start today. Since I don't want anyone in the world to touch me, ever, without asking or having reasonable need, I'll go out without a badge and expect my simple dream to come true. I find the
"Free hugs!" signage and stuff at cons unbearable but that's a good example of people with far less boundaries than I have getting it right and realising that the onus is on the grabby people to make their intentions clear and direct, not their potential victims.
R
