What is the biggest animal you could kill?

L

Liquid Skin

Magical Girl
Ok i promise this is the last thread i'll make in a while, i seem to be in a bit of a spamming mood i know. Vegetatians should stay away i suppose but its all in good fun :D Its just another "what would you do if a nuclear bomb landed" esque thread.

So this is the ultimate piece of conversation i've had in the pub for a long while. Which is the biggest animal you think you could kill in a battle to the death. There are no tools, no walls and you're not even allowed to wear clothes (no choking things with your shirt or beating said animal senseless with your shoe). Its just you and you're chosen opponent. Give us your ideas and your battle plan for said creature. Digression is encouraged, so if you want to suggest the most dangerous, most silly etc go right ahead.

I reckon a cow for the biggest creature and only after a long time of punching it in the neck to make it go down. But the most dangerous? I'd only feel comfortable with a dog, and a small one at that, it'd take a large chunk out of me before it went down.
 
Ryo Chan said:
none, u'd get reported to the RSPCA
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What if the dog was terminally ill, or repugnantly old? - We'd be sweeping the society of time's inevitable moves.

I still say I'd kick Bigfoot's ass; big brown cowardice.
 
i wouldn't kill an animal, living out in the countryside I has seen alot of animals invade the house & garage. I usually Try to catch them & release tham at the bottom of the field out the back of the house.
 
Oh dear... Humanity wants to boast their place on the food chain, and kick the other critters while they're down. You do know that a crocodile could still rip your head off?!
That's why I'd rather spectate (and cheer for the animals). ;)

But since were here, I'll have a go. Depends what I'm up against.
1) If it was a big and fast (attack) dog, I'd wait for i to jump, launch myself and spear it... Then grab it by it hind legs and swing them around comically against the ground.
2) A crocodile/gator would be beat by jumping back as it snaps, get along-side it and jump on it. Then mix in a few clubs to the head and a camel clutch. (But then again, I'd rather not. I like crocs!)
3) Now a bull.... That would be by luck and some weight training... Let it run at you, brace yourself and underhoof-suplex it. Maybe the whip on the neck may stop it completely.

All these stunts are dangerous and cause animal cruelty. I urgely ask you NOT to try this at home, or at school. Please, leave the danger to us.
-Insert company logo-
 
Nyu said:
I've been told i'm an animal ;)

badum psh!
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get your coat you know where the exit is.....

Well today I had to finish off a mouse that my cat heavily wounded so at least I know I can sorta kill one of those, well an injured one anyway
 
When I was on nights, I was on my push bike riding threw some country lanes near my old home. A Huge rat ran out and I ran over it's head with my rear wheel. Thats's the biggest thing I've ever killed anyway O_O'

(To my knowledge anyway) :twisted:
 
Maybe an elephant. Jump up onto its tusks and prod at its eyes; when it's totally blind.. shove your legs in its mouth until it suffocates. Game over.
 
I doubt a full grown African elephant would allow you to play Shadow of the Colossus on it's back, poke it's eyes out with extreme ease, then just shove your leg in it's mouth, then you'd just choke it...

It has tusks, it's f-cking HUGE, it'll stampede, it has a trunk which would bitch slap you around, etc.
 
Lupus Inu said:
I doubt a full grown African elephant would allow you to play Shadow of the Colossus on it's back, poke it's eyes out with extreme ease, then just shove your leg in it's mouth, then you'd just choke it...

It has tusks, it's f-cking HUGE, it'll stampede, it has a trunk which would bitch slap you around, etc.
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If it's life or death, I think you'd give it a go. :D
 
A dog, any size big or small, the same principle works, wait for it to charge at you and when it jumps(If it jumps - whelp!!!!!) grab its front legs and pull them apart as fast and hard as possible, basicly ripping the poor thing in half, it aint gona live long after that 8)
 
We're getting some great replies guys, keep it coming and remember, prove to nature that we belong on the top of the food chain!

I reckon you could take a whale, i mean you could just try and swim into its mouth and choke it. Then again its a case of who runs out of air first, you or the whale?

I think the worst creature would be an insect: like a scorpion or mosquito filled with a particularly nasty disease. I mean would you feel safe trying to squash a scorpion with your bare foot or hand? Plus the scare factor of trying to take down a mosquito before it lands on you....

Curiously one of my friends thought he could take a cheetah as it was "clawsy but nevertheless fragile"

:eek:
 
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