The General Conversation Area

Phobos said:
Not sad at all. Well done on staying in employment for so long!

There are advantages to being out of work, you have time to focus on yourself whether it be hobbies/working on issues etc. Then there’s the advantage of actually having time for your family etc. It’s all swings and roundabouts.
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There is that point yeh thought about that at times I've got enough money to buy near enough anything I want now ....but it's bad because there is somuch I want to do and don't know where to start
 
Dave1988 said:
That's what I'm trying to find to be honest ....there's so.much i want to do but dunno where start...until I sort my head out
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I’d recommend going in little steps. What do you want to do that won’t take immense time/investment/travel? Go with those and work your way up. Sorting yourself out only thing I can really suggest is plod on and don’t over analyse yourself. It takes time and that roads different for everyone really.
 
Phobos said:
I’d recommend going in little steps. What do you want to do that won’t take immense time/investment/travel? Go with those and work your way up. Sorting yourself out only thing I can really suggest is plod on and don’t over analyse yourself. It takes time and that roads different for everyone really.
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To be fair my biggest problem is area I live .....I want to move somewhere that as life and a good.community a descent city or country ....but then I think...job...what if I struggle get a job if I move.....that's my biggest problem I'm having. I want out of this crap city
 
Dave1988 said:
To be fair my biggest problem is area I live .....I want to move somewhere that as life and a good.community a descent city or country ....but then I think...job...what if I struggle get a job if I move.....that's my biggest problem I'm having. I want out of this crap city
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Self employment? I've said several times on the forums I want to do comics. Go into a field you could take pretty much anywhere, and keep checking where you want to go has that type of work to do
 
Dave1988 said:
To be fair my biggest problem is area I live .....I want to move somewhere that as life and a good.community a descent city or country ....but then I think...job...what if I struggle get a job if I move.....that's my biggest problem I'm having. I want out of this crap city
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Totally understandable. I guess a middle ground there is to go somewhere you might be thinking of moving to for an extended holiday and do a bit of job hunting research whilst there. You never know, it might look picturesque but turn out to be horrible.same on the job front. Hell you never know you might realise you miss home or the people there.
 
Dave1988 said:
To be fair my biggest problem is area I live .....I want to move somewhere that as life and a good.community a descent city or country ....but then I think...job...what if I struggle get a job if I move.....that's my biggest problem I'm having. I want out of this crap city
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Yeah, I'd love to be able to move out and move on, so to speak, it's impossible in my situation right now. I've bloomed quite late on in life, in many areas - emotionally; confidence wise etc. It's only these last few years that I've really found my feet and become more confident as a person, but I've had health set backs as well, so it hasn't all gone smoothly. I've lost friends, quit/lost jobs, and had to think on my feet and adapt to circumstances, and whilst it's made me a stronger person, it's been emotionally and mentally draining as well!
 
~AyaMachi~ said:
Yeah, I'd love to be able to move out and move on, so to speak, it's impossible in my situation right now. I've bloomed quite late on in life, in many areas - emotionally; confidence wise etc. It's only these last few years that I've really found my feet and become more confident as a person, but I've had health set backs as well, so it hasn't all gone smoothly. I've lost friends, quit/lost jobs, and had to think on my feet and adapt to circumstances, and whilst it's made me a stronger person, it's been emotionally and mentally draining as well!
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Bear in mind it’s rarely ever too late for things.
 
~AyaMachi~ said:
Yeah, I'd love to be able to move out and move on, so to speak, it's impossible in my situation right now. I've bloomed quite late on in life, in many areas - emotionally; confidence wise etc. It's only these last few years that I've really found my feet and become more confident as a person, but I've had health set backs as well, so it hasn't all gone smoothly. I've lost friends, quit/lost jobs, and had to think on my feet and adapt to circumstances, and whilst it's made me a stronger person, it's been emotionally and mentally draining as well!
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This is what I respect the most the fact that people try and try to improve themselves. Kudos to that. 90% of where I live have the attitudes. Why should I work when I get paid sitting at home...man that boils my blood so bad...then on the other hand they ask borrow money....so I laugh at them ....yeh mean I know but they must learn
 
Dave1988 said:
This is what I respect the most the fact that people try and try to improve themselves. Kudos to that. 90% of where I live have the attitudes. Why should I work when I get paid sitting at home...man that boils my blood so bad...then on the other hand they ask borrow money....so I laugh at them ....yeh mean I know but they must learn
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Some ask for the laughter. Would you however have the same opinion if you found out they were Carers for others or for instance too ill to work? Just curious here.
 
Phobos said:
Bear in mind it’s rarely ever too late for things.
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Yeah, well that's the thing, I don't really see it as a race anymore, I'm just going at my own pace, and that suits me just fine. People around me are achieving milestones, and that's great if that's what they want, more power to them and all that. But I need to be comfortable in myself first and foremost, and it'll take a while, but all I want at the moment is something that'll give me some hope of moving forwards again, instead of moving forwards, but then falling 3 steps back. I mean I joined this forum, and already that's a small but significant step. It's made a difference just being able to reach out to people, even though I don't know anyone, it's the fact that people here aren't judging and being hateful!
 
Phobos said:
Some ask for the laughter. Would you however have the same opinion if you found out they were Carers for others or for instance too ill to work? Just curious here.
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No! Definitely not. As I know that alone is a jobs worth my aunty is a carer

Just the young chavs on the street who can work ....but won't as it's a cushty life living of the state
 
Dave1988 said:
This is what I respect the most the fact that people try and try to improve themselves. Kudos to that. 90% of where I live have the attitudes. Why should I work when I get paid sitting at home...man that boils my blood so bad...then on the other hand they ask borrow money....so I laugh at them ....yeh mean I know but they must learn
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Thanks dude, it means alot :) I'm trying and that's no lie, it's just made harder by the fact that my folks aren't so well off. My Dad's the only earner and he's only working part-time. My Mum doesn't work due to health problems and my Sister just does a little bit from home. Ideally she needs to do more but she wouldn't stand much of a chance of finding work. She got taken out of school becasue of bullying and my parents made the mistake of wrapping her in cotton wool, so to speak, so she's really ill equipped. My mistake has been taking on the burden of the household in the past, when I really should have just ben thinking of myself. Don't get me wrong, I've always paid my way in the house, but I've always put pressure on myself to sort out my situation to "help the house", so I've more often than not ended up in a job I hate just for the sake of bringing in money; it's not worth risking your health for though :(
 
Dave1988 said:
No! Definitely not. As I know that alone is a jobs worth my aunty is a carer
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My dad used to be, of course it was my late mum that was ill, and my brother is a carer now for his own wife. Wouldn't want to do it myself I'd rather choose my own work, but the best thing for people on disability is to get soneone familiar to care for them
 
~AyaMachi~ said:
Thanks dude, it means alot :) I'm trying and that's no lie, it's just made harder by the fact that my folks aren't so well off. My Dad's the only earner and he's only working part-time. My Mum doesn't work due to health problems and my Sister just does a little bit from home. Ideally she needs to do more but she wouldn't stand much of a chance of finding work. She got taken out of school becasue of bullying and my parents made the mistake of wrapping her in cotton wool, so to speak, so she's really ill equipped. My mistake has been taking on the burden of the household in the past, when I really should have just ben thinking of myself. Don't get me wrong, I've always paid my way in the house, but I've always put pressure on myself to sort out my situation to "help the house", so I've more often than not ended up in a job I hate just for the sake of bringing in money; it's not worth risking your health for though :(
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I finally found that out myself. Don't put pressure on yourself ....certainly doesn't do anything good for you...
 
~AyaMachi~ said:
Yeah, well that's the thing, I don't really see it as a race anymore, I'm just going at my own pace, and that suits me just fine. People around me are achieving milestones, and that's great if that's what they want, more power to them and all that. But I need to be comfortable in myself first and foremost, and it'll take a while, but all I want at the moment is something that'll give me some hope of moving forwards again, instead of moving forwards, but then falling 3 steps back. I mean I joined this forum, and already that's a small but significant step. It's made a difference just being able to reach out to people, even though I don't know anyone, it's the fact that people here aren't judging and being hateful!
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I think in all honesty that the best way to view it. Might sound callous but the things others do doesn’t actually have much effect on us. Going your own pace I think and find to be much more rewarding, especially on the mental side of things.
 
~AyaMachi~ said:
Thanks dude, it means alot :) I'm trying and that's no lie, it's just made harder by the fact that my folks aren't so well off. My Dad's the only earner and he's only working part-time. My Mum doesn't work due to health problems and my Sister just does a little bit from home. Ideally she needs to do more but she wouldn't stand much of a chance of finding work. She got taken out of school becasue of bullying and my parents made the mistake of wrapping her in cotton wool, so to speak, so she's really ill equipped. My mistake has been taking on the burden of the household in the past, when I really should have just ben thinking of myself. Don't get me wrong, I've always paid my way in the house, but I've always put pressure on myself to sort out my situation to "help the house", so I've more often than not ended up in a job I hate just for the sake of bringing in money; it's not worth risking your health for though :(
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Similar reasons I ended up staying at home for a “few” extra years. Honestly feel much better now that that’s behind me!
 
Phobos said:
I think in all honesty that the best way to view it. Might sound callous but the things others do doesn’t actually have much effect on us. Going your own pace I think and find to be much more rewarding, especially on the mental side of things.
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This. I'm a miserable sod most of the time. Yeh it's very true...as I've got that much crap going on on my head dunno where do start....I get about 2 hours a night sleep is my sleep is shocking bad as been for years now and always feel like crap...but then I think there's nothing I can do ...just get on with life.and be positive
 
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