I don't mean to whine, but...

K

Kirsty

Student Council President
Are looks really that important?
I feel that a lot of people judge me by my looks, but aside from that I don't think I'm really intelligent or anything so I'm not sure I'd want people to judge me that way either?
I got picked on a lot in school too so that's my own issue, but I have quite a few female friends who's boyfriends are often making comments about how they could be different in looks.

I apologise for this really whiney and girly topic, but it's what I'm thinking about. Hmm...
 
Kirsty said:
Are looks really that important?
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Looks aren't the be all and end all in most cases. I think the words from "Up in the air" sum up things rather well:

person 1:
White collar, college grad. Loves dogs, likes funny movies.
Six-foot-one, brown hair, kind eyes, works in finance but is outdoorsy...
you know, on the weekends. I always imagined he'd have a single
syllable name like Matt or John... or Dave. In a perfect world, he drives a 4Runner, and the only thing he loves
more than me is his Golden Lab. And a nice smile.

What about you?

Person 2: You know, honestly, by the time you're 34, all the
physical requirements just go out the window. Like you secretly pray
that he'll be taller than you. Not an asshole would be nice. Just someone who enjoys my company, comes from a good family. You don't think about that when you're younger. someone who wants kids, Likes kids, healthy enough to play with his kids.

Please let him earn more money
than I do. You might not understand that now, but believe me, you will one day. Otherwise that's a recipe for disaster. And hopefully some hair on his head. But I mean even that's not a deal breaker these days.

A nice smile.

Yeah, a nice smile.
Nice smile just might do it.
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So you see, it doesn't matter what people look like, in the greater scheme of things, inner beauty is what people want. You can be the most beautiful person in the world, but if your personality isn't upto scratch then you'll never stay with someone long enough to know true love.

And a normal person could be average looking, nice personality and find true love, get to spend the rest of their lives with someone they love for who they are not exactly what they look like.

Sure its nice to think "wow if i looked like that celeb" but how many celebs are happy, i mean truly happy? most get into marriages and then have kids, only to break up and the tabloids be all over it like a rash. thats not a nice life... loving someone for who they are will always be better in the long run, so don't get so hung up on looks. some people in life think its their god given right to put others down, gives then a sense of self worth. Like their opinion means anything.

Just go through life the way YOU want to, don't let anyone tell you what to do or put you down. having the confidence to stand up against someone and say "you know what? i don't give a rats ass what you think. i like me for who i am and if the ones i love, love me too then why change?"

/motivational speech from me.
 
No, looks in my opinion fall a little further down the priority list. First and foremost is personality. I've always gone with the idea that you go with a person for who they are, not what they look like. My chain of thinking does make people wonder mind you, since i don't just randomly ask the first person i seem interested in.

Guess the best way to put it for me is. Some woman could be hella stunning in looks according to everyone, but if their personality turns out to be horrible, i couldn't care less.

All i need to do now is actually get confidence to ask out the lasses i like who have good personalities, but they always end up taken, long distance apart, or i has no confidence. But that, is a conversation for anywhere but here ;p
 
Definitely think its possibly to spin opinion of looks with personality. Everyone's opinion of beauty of completely different too.
 
Kirsty said:
Are looks really that important?
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Yes and no.
Finding someone who thinks you are attractive is important. But attraction involves more things than just what you look like.

Whilst lots of people saying "ooh, you like nice" might be good for your self-confidence. It is ultimately not important as its entirely a sex orientated comment. It doesn't mean they have any interest in you as a person.
 
Tachi- said:
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
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Truer words have never been spoken, the concept of beauty is entirely subjective, like Art or Music, like everyone else here, I believe it's about personality, if a person has a good personality, they'll ultimately have a longer lasting impression in someone's mind than someone who is just hot, at least that's how I see it.
 
I feel like if someone tries to pretty themselves too much, I feel like I wanna throw water in their face. You can be too much of a tart at times for some people.

Natural beauty and a slight bit of attention wouldn't go too far with both making you attractive and boosts confidence within yourself. It shows others that you put an effort to look nice. But sprucing yourself up doesn't get you anything unless you assert your personality a little - i.e. don't hide in the darkest corner of the building all night. It's not the fact that you look the best person in the room, it's the effort you put into it.

People want to stay with someone they connect with well - whether it's a love/hate relationship or similar interests. And what aspect of the outside shell can possibly deal with that? Not much, I bet. So get yourself a sparkling personality, and get yourself in with the crowd - 'cause friend or lover - they'll always want to stick with someone they like.
 
Your God-given looks, you can have a debate on that until the cows come home. Keeping yourself in shape, making sure you are as happy with your own appearance as possible etc, are obviously important things for many reasons.
 
sometimes I wonder where all the poetic anecdotes come from in this forum, next we'll be discussing fine literature and drinking malt whisky!
 
@Lawrence, yes I am getting married, so your comments are very true, I was quite interested to get others opinions though, so thanks everyone.
 
afoia said:
sometimes I wonder where all the poetic anecdotes come from in this forum, next we'll be discussing fine literature and drinking malt whisky!
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What do you mean by next we'll be discussing fine literature and drinking malt whisky.

Kirsty, you shouldn't worry that Much about your Appereance as you should only care what you only see in the mirror and if you think you look smashing then you must truely do so.

I at one point wasn't happy with my appereance so i grew my hair long and now i know i always look good. so it might be a sutle change you might do to make yourself happy.
 
Hah! I am so late to this party. Whenever I read topics like this (especially when they start so defensively), my instant reaction is to go with irony:

Hells yeah, looks matter! Post a pic and we'll see if it matters in your case. Har har.

Or something equally snide. Honesty, however, would lead me to say hells yeah, looks matter! If you aren't attracted to your partner, it will never work out. But, the key thing is to remember that not everyone shares the same taste or even a liking for the stereotypical ideal. Not every girl wants to shag Beckham (I definitely do, though!) and not every guy wants to nail Angelina Jolie to his bedpost (I am a girl, and I still do!). And as others already pointed out, a confident, glowing personality and wit can make up for a lot.
 
You know what I think the real shame is, how the typical western ideal of beauty has nearly become the global standard to which beauty is measured now as well. Its the reason many black women use chemical relaxers to straighten their hair, why light complexion skin is often praised as more beautiful everywhere from here to Jamaica or India (where products and surgery to lighten the complexion is big buisness), and big eyes are also seen to be more beautiful now as well even in countries such as Japan( which is evidently reflected in anime!).

Its all ******** though, where did this all come from!? It didn't come from us, it's an idea of beauty that is force fed to us daily through the media. Everyone needs to embrace what they are more instead trying to aim for this same ideal, bring back the afro's, forget the twiggy figure and skinny jeans, anime should start embracing their own people more and feature relatable Japanese looking people. If we all start looking the same life would be bloody dull.
 
I thought that was always more everyone wanting to look exotic rather than aping caucasians. After all, it seems that white Brits nowadays spend hours making themselves Tango orange (sorry, I mean elegantly tanning themselves, uh huh). People with light skin want darker skin, people with dark skin want lighter skin, people with afro-style hair spend a fortune having it straightened, people with straight hair spend a fortune maintaining curls and thickening it.

And nobody anywhere has stereotypically anime-style eyes.

In the old days, even white British women used to want to be paler than normal too, so it's not even a consistent idea of beauty. It's just fashion; totally bonkers. The grass is always greener.

R
 
vashdaman said:
why light complexion skin is often praised as more beautiful everywhere from here to Jamaica or India (where products and surgery to lighten the complexion is big buisness)
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Actually, in India pale skin is a sign of higher social status (as it represents not having to go outside to work), which could be the reason many may wish to lighten their skin complexion. Don't be so arrogant to think everyone wants to be like us.

I confess, Western Media highly correlates with eating disorders, but with things like fashion, and surgical measures I'm not so sure.
 
Rui said:
I thought that was always more everyone wanting to look exotic rather than aping caucasians. After all, it seems that white Brits nowadays spend hours making themselves Tango orange (sorry, I mean elegantly tanning themselves, uh huh). People with light skin want darker skin, people with dark skin want lighter skin, people with afro-style hair spend a fortune having it straightened, people with straight hair spend a fortune maintaining curls and thickening it.

And nobody anywhere has stereotypically anime-style eyes.

In the old days, even white British women used to want to be paler than normal too, so it's not even a consistent idea of beauty. It's just fashion; totally bonkers. The grass is always greener.

R
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Yeah you are right people do always think the grass is greener. But still its all to an extent, like for example it is cool to be slightly tanned but never too dark, you might see people tan themselves to a meditaranian or South American complexion (though it does just look orange) but I haven't met many people who wanted to be as dark as an african or a dark skinned indan, that would often be considered un desirable beacuse its not praised as a ideal of beauty in the media. I even remember when I was at school, I'm ashamed to admit it but some of my friends only wanted light skinned (black) girlfriends and automatically had the impression that dark black skin= ugly, which is of course complete ********. Look at the most praised for beauty Bollywood actresses or Hollwood African American actress, they're all relatively light skinned, even in pop music Beyonce Rihanna, how may beautful dark skinned women do we see on MTV?

As for the anime eyes, of course no one has eyes that large, but it is true that Japanese do tend to have smaller eyes, so their anime character often look much closer to being western then they do Japanese.

@Shirayuri
I'm not being arrogant, Im half Indian and don't consider myself to be an Ideal of beauty(well not conventional anyway lol). I'm not convinced that the whole reason light skin is praised in India is just to do that old belief.
 
I never understood the idea of tanning. I always have had very pale skin (until I have a bloody warm bath, then I'm a boiled lobster. XD ) I wouldn't change it for the world, and I don't see a difference between tanned people as I do black, asian, eastern, indian or plain white skin. It's not about racial difference, I just see people as they are.
And even after someone is tanned, I notice but I still see them as they are as the person before. Same eyes, cheeks, smile and personality.

So why do you think to change the skin colour, for lighter/darker? (This is a general question, not to single anyone out.)
 
Chaz said:
So why do you think to change the skin colour, for lighter/darker? (This is a general question, not to single anyone out.)
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In real life, or are we talking about Azu-nyan specifically?

/mmm, tanned Azu-nyan
 
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