Flirting while in a relationship is...

[chaos]

I voted for the first option. I believe that flriting is all right, because of the definition given to it by cambridge, which is as follow:
to behave as if sexually attracted to someone, although not seriously
Ultimately, I believe that not one single person belongs to anyone. I'm a person who had a problem with the use "my girlfriend" - because I believed that this implied I owned her or something like that.
If there is no such thing as belonging, I believe that you must constantly woo your partner. Little things will do most of the time. Because of this, you need training. =)

But then again, as I believe flirt is OK, I don't believe that following up is though. I don't see open relationships as a good thing on the loong run.

I am lucky to have a very relaxed partner who is my very close friend as well as my mate (it goes both ways) so I haven't so far felt any temptation to look elsewhere for a thrill.

I believe this is the best sort of relationship, as sooner or later, youth goes away, beauty fades and all that jazz, the commitment, friendship and respect will still be there.

... the 8.45 to Charing Cross and devastate your entire family.

Oh, you take trains to Charing Cross? Mine is the 8:29...

...So either these people don't stay in love forever, or they're capable of loving more than one person at the same time. Probably both are pretty common.

I say that you can love people in different manners. You can have sort of a paternal love towards a friend and a sexual attraction to another. Happens all the time and both can be pretty easily mistaken by love.

how can you compare flirting with having an open relationship? flirting is just chatting with a hint of sexual suggestion and there isnt even always that... its just chatting to someone your attracted to... i dont know how to explain it but its not cheating theres no contact.

QFT - there is a big difference between flirting and actually getting to the act.

open relationships are kissing/******* other people... and i dont understand it either.

The way I see it's the ultimate lack of commitment possible. The downside is that when youth and beauty goes away, what will be left?
I guess I'd need to know someone like this to actually try and understand rather than just analyze this under my moral glasses.

 

[MaxonTreik]

how can you compare flirting with having an open relationship? flirting is just chatting with a hint of sexual suggestion and there isnt even always that... its just chatting to someone your attracted to... i dont know how to explain it but its not cheating theres no contact.

open relationships are kissing/******* other people... and i dont understand it either.

I don't understand how you're even defending the idea of showing sexual aggression to others when you're in an exclusive relationship. Doing so shows that you aren't happy with your current partner and are just in it for cheap sex.

The word "restraint" exists for a reason.

You can say they're assholes, sluts, whatever - I just think they weren't meant to be in a monogamous relationship in the first place, but society has engrained this idea of "how we're supposed to live" in their minds. Some people are quite happy in monogamous relationships I'm sure, but a lot of people just aren't suited to it, and I think the prevelance of monogamy in our society is more a holdover from religious practices than actually having any grounding in natural human behaviour.

Then why are they in a relationship in the first place? It's extremely immature to pretend you're in a relationship and then go have sexually aggressive encounters with others just because you're bored. To me it just seems like people use libido and nature as an excuse for being unnaturally horny. After all, if monogamy didn't work, we wouldn't be here.

 

[chaos]

... go have sexually aggressive encounters with others ...

Sorry, I don't understand how flirting relates to sexual aggression?

 

[Chaz]

I voted for the first option. I believe that flriting is all right, because of the definition given to it by cambridge, which is as follow:
to behave as if sexually attracted to someone, although not seriously
Ultimately, I believe that not one single person belongs to anyone. I'm a person who had a problem with the use "my girlfriend" - because I believed that this implied I owned her or something like that.
If there is no such thing as belonging, I believe that you must constantly woo your partner. Little things will do most of the time. Because of this, you need training. =)

While I agree with the fact there shouldn't be any ownership in a relationship, but if you are flirting with someone else, it's SUPPOSED to be a serious suggestion (of either some sexual fun or to offer a relationship). I've never been to Cambridge, Hell! I read the Collins Compact English Dictionary I got from 1998 before I went to High School... And it has everything your quote says in the Cambridge version... except "although not seriously." I think that's a more sensible look at it.

Commitment doesn't mean ownership. Commitment is showing someone that you are serious about something and you act upon it. In business, commitment is to work hard, help out co-workers and maybe go the extra length. In romantic relationships, this is going on dates, engagements, deciding to live together, sharing a bank account etc....
However, if they found out they werent meant to be together or lose their love, that's why people break up or divorse.

Flirting in a relationship can only cause the sceranio that you 2 are attracted and then you kiss/sleep with them and then when the partner finds out, you've damaged the relationship. It shouldn't be about "if they dont find out, how will they know?" It should be about not doing it behind their backs in the 1st place. That's how you KNOW you're committed.

 

[unellmay]

... go have sexually aggressive encounters with others ...

Sorry, I don't understand how flirting relates to sexual aggression?

Quoted for stealing what I was about to say >_<

 

[Yunagirl]

In my opinion flirting while in a relationship is not right. If the other non-flirting person finds out... most likely thing it will bring is insecurity, and suspicion which can easily kill a relationship.

If you're thinking of flirting with someone else, just stop and think how you'd feel and think if your partner did it to you.

 

[Mutsumi]

I say that so long as your partner knows about it & is not offended, it is ok. Secrets in a relationship only weaken it.

 

[unellmay]

You obviously flirted with some and got moaned at btw

 

[Mutsumi]

You obviously flirted with some and got moaned at btw

Lol, how very wrong you are. ;D If a relationship is secure & you both trust each other, nothing to worry about. Flirting is just flirting. It your partner trusts you not to go further & you honour their trust in you then no problem.

 

[unellmay]

You obviously flirted with some and got moaned at btw

Lol, how very wrong you are. ;D If a relationship is secure & you both trust each other, nothing to worry about. Flirting is just flirting. It your partner trusts you not to go further & you honour their trust in you then no problem.

I technically meant the thread starter

 

[Mutsumi]

You obviously flirted with some and got moaned at btw

Lol, how very wrong you are. ;D If a relationship is secure & you both trust each other, nothing to worry about. Flirting is just flirting. It your partner trusts you not to go further & you honour their trust in you then no problem.

I technically meant the thread starter

Quote the person you are replying to if they are not the most recent poster.
Lessons in posting aside, who here is allowed by their partner to flirt with others?

 

[skikes]

... go have sexually aggressive encounters with others ...

Sorry, I don't understand how flirting relates to sexual aggression?

Quoted for stealing what I was about to say >_<

i know right!? why do people hear one thing and talk about another?

if any1 out there thinks flirting is sexual aggression i would probs have a life sentence or be on a list or something.

and no unellmay i did not get moaned at... much

 

[McIcy]

I'm married and I still flirt, it doesn't mean i am gonna leave my wife or cheat on her

 

[Voddas]

I voted "Ok in small amounts." I nearlly voted the top option but restrained myself. As far as I'm concerned banter between two opposite sexes is perfectly healthy. If it was that this was seen as "Disrespectful and detrimental to a relationship" by the a partner (co-relationshipy), then there's a problem or lack or no trust there.
I flirt and my partner doesn't mind coz she knows that I would never in a million years act upon anything. I love my partner and that's all that matters. Well, that's imo.
Sorry, just had to comment. =P

EDIT: McIcy got my opinion in beofre I did.

 

[Arbalest]

Not being in a relationship, i've not really had any problem on that matter, however i'd think it would be alright in some respects. I mean, i'd still chat to women and such regardless of having a relationship, but i'd probably keep it to a minimal. I don't think it'd be disrespectful if you where being playful or just having a general conversation, but maybe keep it just that.

 

[chaos]

While I agree with the fact there shouldn't be any ownership in a relationship, but if you are flirting with someone else, it's SUPPOSED to be a serious suggestion (of either some sexual fun or to offer a relationship). I've never been to Cambridge, Hell! I read the Collins Compact English Dictionary I got from 1998 before I went to High School... And it has everything your quote says in the Cambridge version... except "although not seriously." I think that's a more sensible look at it.

Mmmm, I think this is all a misunderstanding caused by different dictionary definitions?
Cultural diferences maybe? After all brazilians are known for being suggestive. Back home it isn't unusual to flirt with friends to the face of their partners.

Flirting in a relationship can only cause the sceranio that you 2 are attracted and then you kiss/sleep with them and then when the partner finds out, you've damaged the relationship. It shouldn't be about "if they dont find out, how will they know?" It should be about not doing it behind their backs in the 1st place. That's how you KNOW you're committed.

I don't get why flirting has to lead to any physical encounter with the subject of the flirt. Like I say, I don't think flirting is wrong, following it up while in a relationship though is.

In my opinion flirting while in a relationship is not right. If the other non-flirting person finds out...

I say that so long as your partner knows about it & is not offended, it is ok. Secrets in a relationship only weaken it.

I agree that if it's done on the back of your partner its wrong. This should be really clear and also, no more than being playful.
I'll still claim cultural differences here, but I'll bear this in mind if I engage in a relationship with an english girl.

Not being in a relationship, i've not really had any problem on that matter, however i'd think it would be alright in some respects. I mean, i'd still chat to women and such regardless of having a relationship, but i'd probably keep it to a minimal. I don't think it'd be disrespectful if you where being playful or just having a general conversation, but maybe keep it just that.

keep it to that is the key =)

On the cultural differences grounds, I was looking into the so called "public display of affection" thing the other day, as I a certain person told me he felt unconfortable with them.
I mentioned that to a colleague that I don't see many couples kissing at the cinema, when this is something so common back home. My colleague replied something like "Is it common there? It's so childish".
I think that this goes hand in hand with the flirt thing.

 

[devilrules666]

only in small amounts

 

[Mutsumi]

After all brazilians are known for being suggestive.

I'd say it depends on whether you show it off or not. Most of the time you wont know if someone has a brazilian until you are WAY past flirting. However, showing off your brazilian certainly would be suggestive, & a major flirt in my opinion.





Yes, I know. I'm just filthy ok?

Edit: corrected a spelling error.

 

[devilrules666]

i love that country and it's people.

 

[chaos]

After all brazilians are known for being suggestive.

I'd say it depends on whether you show it off or not. Most of the time you wont know if someone has a brazilian until you are WAY part flirting. However, showing off your brazilian certainly would be suggestive, & a major flirt in my opinion.

Yes, I know. I'm just filthy ok?

What I meant is that I consider flirting all right, because it's considered all right in the culture I was born and bred. Funily enough, until 2005 adultery was a crime that could get people in jail there! Not a single conviction in the last 10 years or so I heard.

i love that country and it's people.

Thanks. Great country, great people, but awful politicians.
It's only been a democracy for little over 20 years and the progress definitely shows, but still they have some issues to tackle before I consider going back.