Sixth Form College, University and pressure

M

Mr. Mister

Completely Average High School Student
I'm going to Sixth Form in September to do A levels, and there is a part of me that is not going to enjoy it, I keep thinking I have to impress my family by going into University, getting high grades and then having to do huge things like traveling the world and living in a mansion. Even though I have no clue what I want to do as a job and in future life.

I feel that I have no control over my life now and that my parents and educational figures are going to dictate to me what I have to do in future life. I fear that if I do go into University, I will have a huge amount of homesickness and want to leave, letting my family down. I do want to have a good job that pays well, but I'm scared that it will be too much for me to cope.
 
Emerson Lake & Palmer said:
I'm going to Sixth Form in September to do A levels, and there is a part of me that is not going to enjoy it, I keep thinking I have to impress my family by going into University, getting high grades and then having to do huge things like traveling the world and living in a mansion. Even though I have no clue what I want to do as a job and in future life.

I feel that I have no control over my life now and that my parents and educational figures are going to dictate to me what I have to do in future life. I fear that if I do go into University, I will have a huge amount of homesickness and want to leave, letting my family down. I do want to have a good job that pays well, but I'm scared that it will be too much for me to cope.
Click to expand...

I feel very similar, bar possibly the homesickness.

You're not on your own mate.
 
It all depends on what University you wish to apply for you could get one that's close to home like i did. Get the degree with none of the homesickness. However this is a double edged sword, right now i'm on the verge of leaving the only home i've known for the past 22 years, not out of choice mind. However i was given the choice of living at uni like so many others or commuting (it was a half an hour bus ride both ways). Being lazy and not wanting too much hassle i chose the latter.

In doing that though did i lose that sense of freedom i would of got moving out for the first time, would it of made this event easier to deal with? Probably but i won't know and if i could turn back time its maybe one of the things i would of been tempted to do (along with some course changes and a better work ethic)

The main point is though, your life will only dictated by others if you allow them to. Go and do what you want to do, your parents may want what's best for you but don't take it to heart. End of the day you are your own person and your parents should back whatever you decide to do (they don't have to be 100% behind it but they should respect your choice)
 
You don't have to do anything ELP, least of all for people other than yourself. We all have choice in what we do and it's up to you to make the decisions the way you feel is right. If you want a good job and think University is the best way for you to achieve it then that's your decision to make, no-one else's.

My parents never tried to push me into anything but I know my teachers thought I was destined for higher eductaion (which proved not to be the case). Homesickness I've never really felt. I'm a pretty solitary person by nature and actually love living on my own (have been doing so since October) family and old friends are just a phone call away anyway.
 
ayase said:
You don't have to do anything ELP, least of all for people other than yourself.
Click to expand...
I like it.

Don't rush yourself, you have plenty of time to find just what it is you want to do with your life, I only realised my 'calling' at the rear end of sixth form - too late for university applications, and my subjects had very little to do with it. In time, you'll define what your own 'success' is, regardless of what others expect of you. Give it some thought and take your time. Soon you'll be able to blaze your own trail. It would be best if you knew before going to Uni, but I still fret about it too much. Most of my friends are going off to Uni next year and the majority of them don't actually know what they want to do with their lives. I hope I was of some hELP. -chuckles-
 
Emerson Lake & Palmer said:
I'm going to Sixth Form in September to do A levels, and there is a part of me that is not going to enjoy it, I keep thinking I have to impress my family by going into University, getting high grades and then having to do huge things like traveling the world and living in a mansion. Even though I have no clue what I want to do as a job and in future life.

I feel that I have no control over my life now and that my parents and educational figures are going to dictate to me what I have to do in future life. I fear that if I do go into University, I will have a huge amount of homesickness and want to leave, letting my family down. I do want to have a good job that pays well, but I'm scared that it will be too much for me to cope.
Click to expand...

do what you think is best for you
 
I think everyone has some level of nervousness when it comes to Higher Ed and the pressures that come with it. But to be honest, it's just something similar to what you'd have in most things in life. Everyone gets a little jumpy and panicy when new things are coming to them: new friends, new job, new life-style. You just need to have a good think about what you like to do (even if it's not a 5-year plan, go with something on instinct), and try to find out what you need to get there (and if anything has it's advantage: i.e. a course in *waffling*).

I didnt plan for uni or art when I came out of school, I went towards a police career and did a Public Service diploma... Hated it! But I then applied for a Degree in Ceramics and I passed! I want to now get a studio, get a full time job to pay bills and work with clay. I only got there by taking a chance, putting a foot into the unknown and worked at it.

I admit, I didnt leave home as I was lucky to have uni and college near me. I dont think I'm the kind of person that's easily homesick, so I cant really help there. Just do what you can, but try to aim high. You wont get everything in life, but unless you feel happy about where you're going/where you are, you wont strive for anything. Think positive!
 
Welcome to modern Britain. However, you're an adult now ( assuming you're 18 ). No-one can force you to do anything.

I'll be going to university for the first time after summer, and I'm 23. I went to college after high school, but that was due to pressure, so I dropped that and worked for a bit and went to another college and as a result I found out what I want to do with my life.

High school is the worst possible time to try to decide your future. There's far less experience and maturity behind the decisions made. You need a couple of years minimum to make a real decision.
 
As BlackWolf says, finding somewhere close to home may be a good idea when the time comes. It doesn't have to be too close though- my sister studied a county away from my parents' house, facilitating the occasional weekend visit with ease.

I myself am happy to study in the other end of the country however, not least for the variety it provides.

One of the most anxiety-ridden times is the period leading up to starting the course, because you don't know who you're going to be living and working with. Once you're into the system, these worries take wings.
 
Skipping Sixth Form would be a huge mistake. Unlike University, you'll probably never go back if you don't do it now, and if you did... well. I know I wouldn't know how to interact with 16-18 year olds, and I'm 'only' 22, and you'll be stuck in some godawful job for the rest of your life, because GCSEs are nothing more than entrance exams for A-Levels nowadays.

I bull-rushed education and I rather regret it. As I was near the top of my year in sixth form, the idea of hanging back and thinking about where my life should lead simply didn't occur to me. So many people go to University, so I basically had to. I've had a rocky ride since the end of second year, (which has been less about ability and more about personal issues), failing an entire module, taking an intermissionary year, and just generally losing a lot of faith in myself before crawling to hand in date with what I could manage. I got a good second class degree in the end, but I was capable of better and would probably have got better If I'd left it a few years. I could have also chosen a more useful / interesting degree than English as well.

My advice to everyone is take at least a year out of education at some point. You don't have to do that whole 'backpack the world on daddy's credit-card' ******** that most really obnoxious gap-year people will do (I'm sick of meeting people who can tick off every token country they've spent five minutes in. Yeah I get it, you're richer than me). Find something more useful to do than that. Research your career, do some unpaid work experience, sort out any personal problems you have, and go to University because you need to, not because everyone expects you to.
 
kupocake said:
Research your career, do some unpaid work experience, sort out any personal problems you have, and go to University because you want to, not because everyone expects you to.
Click to expand...

Corrected. :lol:
 
No, 'need' because if you're planning a career, 99% of the time, you need to go to University. It's not University you should want, it's what it leads to, and that's the point of what I'm saying.
 
I think you should go to the sixth form. But don't just grin and bear it; talk to people (whether here or to your real life peers) about the bad times, and work through them. You can spend your free time for the next couple of years figuring out what to do next. There's no shame in taking a year out after that, getting some experience in the working world and setting your mind on what you do and don't want from your future before taking the plunge for uni. Doing something like that (or just picking a really interesting course) might give you just enough of a feeling of freedom to relieve some of that pressure you're dreading.

All of my friends and my partner loved their time at university. On the other hand I never went and that was the right decision for me (feel free to PM if you want to ask about it). Everyone is different, and if you're genuinely getting upset you are allowed to take a breather and make your own decisions! You're at the worst possible time where the education system feels like being on a conveyor belt you have no control over; that won't last forever and there's a lot of freedom when you decide what *you* want and go for it.

R
 
kupocake said:
Skipping Sixth Form would be a huge mistake. Unlike University, you'll probably never go back if you don't do it now, and if you did... well. I know I wouldn't know how to interact with 16-18 year olds, and I'm 'only' 22, and you'll be stuck in some godawful job for the rest of your life, because GCSEs are nothing more than entrance exams for A-Levels nowadays.
Click to expand...
There are people in the world with GCSE level education or less who are doing pretty well for themselves...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Branson
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Sugar

And before anyone says "that's hardly the norm though" you're right. If people think of themselves that way they will end up flipping burgers for the rest of their lives. But it's by no means a certainty that that's all your life will hold without higher education. I'm not suggesting for a minute that ELP not continue in education, (that's his choice to make) I'm just balancing out the views being expressed here as someone with only GCSE level education who is self employed.
 
ayase said:
There are people in the world with GCSE level education or less who are doing pretty well for themselves...
Click to expand...
I'm not just going to do the whole "hardly the norm" thing, when the fact is that they went through an education system that is simply incomparable to our own. Asking you to magic out of thin air contemporary examples of people with decent career prospects out of a secondary education would be unfair, since you're not a clairvoyant. But my father left school at fifteen and my mum did pretty well for herself off A-level results that would have most people today crying in the lobby. Education was not easier of course, but it was undeniably different.
 
But isn't the problem that our education system hasn't changed and adapted to the times? People are taught the same things in the same manner except social norms have changed, meaning teachers can't discipline disruptive pupils and irresponsible parents don't. No-one has ever really liked school, but now kids can get away with not doing work and hindering others' progress with "verbal / written warnings" and "suspension" (oooh, threatening) being the worst teachers can do, though they rarely go that far even in extreme cases. 40 years ago someone would have gotten the ruler and shut the hell up, not been able to reduce lessons to farce where no-one learns anything at all except how easy it is to undermine teachers' authority.

IMO The only effective method of teaching children without corporal punishment is to permanently remove the offending parties from the classroom. If that's what they want then give it to them, make them learn another lesson: How easy it is to get by without any education. Childhood is after all a learning stage, and most kids need discipline in order to learn self-discipline.

/off topic rambling
 
Some good advice in here, but what I can say to you is that education is important, but not essential for success or hapiness.

Finding out what you think is your goal in life and chasing it will feel more rewarding than anything else.

Sounds easy and common sense, but in reality to chase your dreams is the most difficult thing and I doubt most can truthfully pursue it. Most get sidetraked in their ways because of things like money, for instance. I know I'm one of these, but I keep telling myself it's only momentarily.
 
I agree with Chaos.

Anyway, I'd say at your age, you shouldn't worry too much about things. Life becomes a struggle when you get into the real world and you have to start interacting with real people in real life situations. One thing college taught me as I look back at it now is what a life that was. Man, I still wish I could go back cause some of the college honeys I see, man, it's just too much for a guy. No wonder I didn't do too well when I did go. I should have held it out and got into some Oxford Uni because the ladies round Oxford are elite. Ahh....well.....at least I work in Oxford now, so it's not all that bad and I'm pretty happy.

What I'm trying to say is that I swindled away my college years, didn't do too well because I focused on other things but I'm still very happy with the life I have now. I can still do what I want to do and my career is moving forward well........not bad for a dropout. I'm not saying you should just shirk education and dropout but there's hope even if the pressure does get to you in the end.

Besides, when I left college, those couple of years I had after, I learnt a lot more about the world and I gained a hell of a lot more knowledge than I did in the system.

Enjoy yourself now because it's even more scary when you do transcend into the real world these days. I see a lot of people even with degrees who have no hope for the future.
 
As people said, don't assume you have to do anything, specially for other people, since its your life you're running here, not theirs. When it comes to education, at least high school wise, i'd say its best to go through that then, get it out of the way so that if your chosen path continues to University, you have what you need already and don't need to get them later. However i would recommend that you do as Kupocake said and take a year out at some point, i did between leaving high school and starting uni and i found it helped both financially and to work out what to do. High school pushes pressure on you when you don't want it really, so a year out can do wonders in that it gives you breathing space and a chance to really think on what you want to do, so after high school it could be worth doing.

Homesickness is something i've never really had, i enjoy living on my own, much like many others i know, as it gives you a chance to "spread your wings", as they say, and of course, no matter how far away from home you are, you're always just a phone call away.

Whatever you do though, speak to people about it, i mean keeping it all in your head never does any good anyway(and don't i know it...) so when you feel you need advise on something, or want more info on this or that, i'd find someone to talk to on it.
 
It's been in the back of my head for way to long, but recently I've taken the initiative and actually started looking at the USC (University of Southern California) and I've made myself want to go there even more. Even though its a far-off dream, due to being international, expensive, not being smart enough. I'm thinking I might apply. I read something about them wanting a short film, script, personal statement and something else so I thought "Hey! If I actually do this and wow them I might be able to get in!"

It's the best film school, like, in the world. Enough reason for me wanting to go there.



...Just thought I'd give an update about my future thoughts to my dear friends at AUKN. Sorry for technically being off-topic, though.
 
Back
Top