Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back:
Jay: Affleck, you the *bomb* in Phantoms yo!
Jay: In a world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, but the monkey will spank us.
Jay: All you **********ers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna **** your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax ***** who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our ****, then **** out our ****, then eat their **** which is made up of our **** that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you **********s are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob.
The Ben Affleck running gag.......
[several security guards, led by Gordon, have suddenly rushed onto the set of Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season]
Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: Sorry to interrupt sirs, but we've got a 10-07 on our hands.
Matt Damon: [exasperated] Oh Jesus, again Ben?
Ben Affleck: [cocky] No, ********, because I wasn't WITH a hooker today, ha-HA!
Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: There they are!
Jay: Affleck, you the bomb in "Phantoms", yo!
Miramax Security Guard Gordon: Echo Base, I've got a 10-07: two unauthorized on the lot, requesting backup.
Echo Base: [over Gordon's walkie talkie] I thought that was a 10-82.
Miramax Security Guard Gordon: No sir, a 10-82 is disappearing a dead hooker from Ben Affleck's trailer.
Echo Base: [slightly amused] Oh, that Affleck! Backup on the way...
Cock-Knocker: Don't **** with the Jedi Master, son.
Initial D:
Bunta Fujiwara: It's so nice having a woman in the house.
[referring to Natsuki]
Bunta Fujiwara: Oh... and in such a short skirt! If only it were two inches shorter...
Clerks 2
Elias: [Elias is wasted] I hope that donkey doesn't have a heinie troll!
Randal Graves: You're in the bestiality business.
Sexy Stud: Hey. Fucko. We like to call it inter-species erotica.
Randal Graves: Intriguing.
Randal Graves: And what's with that gay ******* look, I thought Sam was going to saunter over Frodo and suck his ******* cock. Now that would have been an Academy Award worthy ending.
Hobbit Lover: Hey faggot, Sam and Frodo aren't gay! Their hobbits!
Randal Graves: And then after the Frodo and Sam suckfest, just before the credits roll, Sam straight up ******* bricks in Frodo's mouth.
Dante Hicks: The guy's in a wheelchair.
Randal Graves: I know. That's why I call him "crippie-boy."
Becky: ****, I had to wait on a guy I blew after Junior Prom.
Randal Graves: Yeah, I've waited on your brother too.
Randal Graves: Why haven't you ****** Myra yet?
Elias: Well we can't because of Pillow Pants.
Randal Graves: What the ****'s Pillow Pants?
Elias: Pillow Pants is a little troll that lives in her pussy.
[Randal stares]
Elias: Pillow Pants is her pussy troll?
[scoffs]
Elias: Duh. You know how every girl's parents put a pussy troll in them when the girls are young, to keep them from having premarital sex?
Randal Graves: ...Sure.
Elias: Well Myra's is named Pillow Pants. And so even though she totally wants to have sex with me, Myra says that if I put my... thing in her, Pillow Pants will bite it off. So, I gotta wait until Pillow Pants get peed out of her body on her 21st birthday before we can have sex.
Randal Graves: [floored] And Myra told you this?
Elias: Boyfriends and girlfriends talk to each other about sex stuff Randal. You'd know this if you ever had a girlfriend.
Randal Graves: Have you and Myra even kissed yet?
Elias: We would have if it weren't for Listerfiend.
Randal Graves: [beat] Listerfiend is her mouth troll, isn't it?
Elias: [shakes head] Women.
(this scene has the best expressions in the whole film Randall looks so freaked out by what he is hearing)
Elias: Say what you will about Jesus, but leave "The Rings" alone.
Elias: [while masturbating] I'm sorry, Jesus!
