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I'm very fond of Sweet Blue Flowers / Aoi Hana, it's probably the yuri anime I'd be most likely to recommend to people who have no interest in yuri anime since it has some really interesting characters and relationships and doesn't rely on the yuri aspect for it's appeal.  I do think some people might hesitate to watch any show listed as Yuri, BL or anything along those lines because they worry they'll just be full of fanservice but there are shows like this that just have great stories and characters and they're probably not that uncommon (at least as a proportion of shows that include these kinds of themes).

I wonder if Ouran High School Host Club would qualify, it is a comedy but there's some heartfelt stuff in there and gender issues do come up fairly often.  It doesn't necessarily have the deepest or most thorough examination of the issues but it has the advantage of being fun and accessible.

Probably even further from the sort of thing you're looking for, but I'm quite fond of the way that Hidamari Sketch handles it's lesbian couple (at least as far as I've seen).  It's understated and matter of fact, in a way that's probably at least partly driven by being non-committal but feels somewhat clever in the way it manages to also feel more like a real relationship.  That's just one part of the show, so it's maybe not something to watch exclusively for, but there's plenty of other good stuff to enjoy with a great cast of characters.

I should probably stop before I end up suggesting Non Non Biyori...