I recently saw the only Bond film I was yet to see after buying the Sean Connery collection. I always blamed Roger Moore for turning Bond into a self parody but it seems I owe him an apology. After reading some reviews I didn't expect a whole not from Diamonds Are Forever but christ I didn't expect it to be as bad as it was. By the mid point I was actually starting to get pissed off and that annoyance is what's making me write this now.
Where do I start!? Oh yes, right from the start. That's right, from the very first moments of the movie it's bad. In the last installment featuring George Lazenby Bond was married but his wife was killed by his arch enemy Blofeld. Following on from that what could, no should, have been an action thriller with Bond serching for Blofeld for revenge we instead get something more in line with Austin Powers than James Bond. I was half expecting Connery to run around naked with cleverly positioned items covering his dongle.
Connery is back though so it couldn't be that bad! Well yes it could. Connery must have been offered an amazing amount of money for this film because other than the money he's on auto pilot which drains pretty much all the energy from the character. Uninterested, uninvolving, unconvincing. And even though he's not much older than he was in his last installment as Bond he looks at least 20 years older! I think he might look younger in Never Say Never Again which he did actually film about 15 years later.
Even if Connery was full on though there's just too much else wrong with the film. The direction is sloppy and unfocused, the action is uninteresting, the villians are gay stereotypes (and in turn has dated the movie horribly), the Bond girl is idiotic and annoying, the acting is generally average to abysmal, the plot is by the books, there is a complete lack of atmosphere with no help from the set pieces which were dull and tacky... CHRIST I COULD GO ON FOREVER!
It's a Roger Moore movie but with Connery and marked the bottom of the barrel for the franchise for just over a decade until Timothy Dalton took over with his refreshing (if not flawed) performance as a serious Bond and not as Johnny English. The movie is so bad I wont to get my Connery collectors tin, throw Diamonds Are Forever in a **** stained lav, smash the tin to a smaller size and pretend the movie never existed.
Is there anything good about this movie? Yes actually. We get one hilarious line from Connery. After some henchmen interuppt an intimate moment he quips, "Well, I'm afraid you've caught me with more than my hands up." There's also a good fight in an Amsterdam elevator and the theme song is pretty good. Uh... that's it actually. Damn.
Verdict? Avoid like a mousetrap to the balls.
Where do I start!? Oh yes, right from the start. That's right, from the very first moments of the movie it's bad. In the last installment featuring George Lazenby Bond was married but his wife was killed by his arch enemy Blofeld. Following on from that what could, no should, have been an action thriller with Bond serching for Blofeld for revenge we instead get something more in line with Austin Powers than James Bond. I was half expecting Connery to run around naked with cleverly positioned items covering his dongle.
Connery is back though so it couldn't be that bad! Well yes it could. Connery must have been offered an amazing amount of money for this film because other than the money he's on auto pilot which drains pretty much all the energy from the character. Uninterested, uninvolving, unconvincing. And even though he's not much older than he was in his last installment as Bond he looks at least 20 years older! I think he might look younger in Never Say Never Again which he did actually film about 15 years later.
Even if Connery was full on though there's just too much else wrong with the film. The direction is sloppy and unfocused, the action is uninteresting, the villians are gay stereotypes (and in turn has dated the movie horribly), the Bond girl is idiotic and annoying, the acting is generally average to abysmal, the plot is by the books, there is a complete lack of atmosphere with no help from the set pieces which were dull and tacky... CHRIST I COULD GO ON FOREVER!
It's a Roger Moore movie but with Connery and marked the bottom of the barrel for the franchise for just over a decade until Timothy Dalton took over with his refreshing (if not flawed) performance as a serious Bond and not as Johnny English. The movie is so bad I wont to get my Connery collectors tin, throw Diamonds Are Forever in a **** stained lav, smash the tin to a smaller size and pretend the movie never existed.
Is there anything good about this movie? Yes actually. We get one hilarious line from Connery. After some henchmen interuppt an intimate moment he quips, "Well, I'm afraid you've caught me with more than my hands up." There's also a good fight in an Amsterdam elevator and the theme song is pretty good. Uh... that's it actually. Damn.
Verdict? Avoid like a mousetrap to the balls.