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Aion

Aion

Time-Traveller
When you're fed up of life yet, at the exact same time, don't want to die... What do you do?

When you're stupid and constantly makes mistakes, taking longer to learn than others, only for you to be inferior when do finally learn... What do you do?

When, combined with simply being a moron, you lack basic social skills and actually find people scary, as if you're an alien species... What do you?

When your motor functions are naturally slower than others, making you automatically useless at sports and the like, what do you do?



I try to immerse myself in my hobbies to forget everything, but my hobbies have become less and less interesting over the years. I no longer have 'happy periods' where I can forget - Everything is constantly going around in my head, whether I'm asleep or awake. I don't want to live as pathetic as I have been for years.

Every memory I have is me being pathetic, weak, stupid...EVERYTHING. If I make new memories they will also be ones I want to forget. I'm not religious and have never believed in God, but if there is a God and everyone has a purpose then my purpose must surely be to humiliate myself at every turn.

The funny thing is that people with AS are supposed to be insanely smart. I really missed out there - Socially retarded, without the intelligence to make up for being socially retarded.

......Even this post on a ******* anime forum is a stupid thing to do, what's the point in anything...
 
Life's all about learning to see and appreciate the silly little things. Because the realisation of how meaningless life is is a killer if you don't then figure out how to make the most of it anyway :s

Everyone makes mistakes, and we're our own worst critics. You're not a bad person.

And being useless at sports? Leaves more time for other methods of hedonism :)

Wanna talk to a mean old lady just let me know.

R
 
I'd see a doctor or a counsellor because, while there's every chance you'll feel better soon, you might not. No point in feeling like crap when you can get help, seriously.

I wouln't ask for advice on such things on the internet though. This forum is friendlier than most places, but the internet in general is full of retards who get kicks out of people in fragile emotional states.
 
Dont worry dude, im useless at sports, and suck at most things. And have all to nothing in hobbys. Just learn to make sure your friends dont tell the schools deputy head, cause then you'll have to have a counsellor on your back.

The secret is, just turn to these people and say '**** you, i have good friends', cause we're all behind you on here man. (Even though, it IS just the internet, still here to give yeh a hand)
 
That's odd Rui; you always came across as male to me.

Internet insults don't bother me. I've browsed 4chan for ages and been on the internet long enough to know people are true to themselves online.

Sorry (not really, but it's the done thing to apologize in these situations) for making this thread, I just needed to get what was in my head out. I wasn't looking for advice.
 
I tend to post only on 1 forum at a time, or at least focus on only one forum. It just so happens that this forum is the only one I'm currently bothering with.
 
Aion said:
That's odd Rui; you always came across as male to me.
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I get that a lot :)

When I play MMOs with male friends it's always their characters who get hit on. Hehe.

Hope letting it out helped a little bit anyway. If one thing's for sure it's that chances are, a bunch of geeks like most of us on a geeky forum are likely to understand on the whole about how crappy life can feel when people are low.

R
 
Aion said:
....
The funny thing is that people with AS are supposed to be insanely smart. I really missed out there...
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Join Mensa. Truth is that humanity do not know ho to deal with those different. People too inteligent are different too...

Aion said:
....
Socially retarded, with the intelligence to make up for being socially retarded.
...
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Being intelligent has nothing to do with being social. I realized myself that I rather have one true mate than the world around me...
 
I made a mistake in your 2nd quote: I meant without, not with.

Put simply, what I was trying to say is that I'm socially retarded, eccentric and stupid. Most people with AS are known for the first 2, but they're also meant to be intelligent - I'm not.
 
i wouldent worry about not being very social,chances are the most social people are doing stuff you really wouldent want to be involved in anyway.also,don't worry about people having a go at you because they are sad,pathetic and ignorant morons who think it makes them better than you,which it deffinatley doesn't.
sorry for the lengthy post/semi-rant but it had to be said.like spyro said we are all here to give you support,i mean just look at the response!
anyway,remember this:
some things in life are bad,they can really make you mad,other things just make you swear and curse.when your'e chewing on life's gristle,don't grumble give a whistle and this'll help thing's turn out for the best..........always look on the bright side of life..........^_^
 
I know I sound stupid here but what is AS?
Anyway man don't worry because you find other people weird - I often feel like that - I don't understand people a lot as to me they act stupidly and unrationally (not you guys but the general public) - I was walking through sainsbury's and there were so many miserable people that it felt like they didn't even exist because they seemed so lifeless!

But if people don't like you for who you are then they're not worth bothering with!
 
Churchy99 said:
I know I sound stupid here but what is AS?
Anyway man don't worry because you find other people weird - I often feel like that - I don't understand people a lot as to me they act stupidly and unrationally (not you guys but the general public) - I was walking through sainsbury's and there were so many miserable people that it felt like they didn't even exist because they seemed so lifeless!

But if people don't like you for who you are then they're not worth bothering with!
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Asperger syndrome
 
Aion said:
I made a mistake in your 2nd quote: I meant without, not with.

Put simply, what I was trying to say is that I'm socially retarded, eccentric and stupid. Most people with AS are known for the first 2, but they're also meant to be intelligent - I'm not.
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I got what you meant the first time. ^^

Do you cheat on your exams? If you don't well, I'd say you are intelligent.

When I was 12 I used to feel a lot like what you are describing. I used to think that when I grew up to be 18, I would know the secrets of life and the universe and everything else... Turns out I'm almost 30 now and I still don't have a clue. BUT I'm living my life in a way to have as little regrets as I can. I might not be the happiest person on earth, but I do just fine.
 
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