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Humbug to trackpads, I say! Such is the perennial drawback to laptops. For my recent holiday I used a Bluetooth keyboard with a tablet computer, and while its integrated trackpad made for a notable improvement over a touch-screen, ever did I yearn for a mouse to hand.

Perhaps what they say about imitation and flattery holds true! Though I have yet to receive the tainted privilege of an imposter.

↑ Perhaps the official Dulux name for the colour of vomit should be "Harmony Gold".

That container appears more comfortable than many rented rooms within the M25! (The rule here is to make do and mend. Unless the landlord prevents the latter, in which case one simply makes do.)

↑ What a curiously suggestive word 'wangle' is.

17,602, being a natural number, is not a cigar either.

↑ The smell of red tape is overpowering! The adhesive especially.

I was on holiday for the last week, and found myself simply too rested to try to remember my AUKN password! Has anything of note happened during my absence?

Quite so! It is often a matter of circumstance, that is to say, being in the right/wrong place at the right/wrong time (delete where applicable).

And a further 17,592 people to test it...

Eureka Seven AO? More like "Eureka Seven, Ow!"

Red Dwarf series 10 and 11 received steelbook releases? But why should they be the ones to enjoy such exalted statuses over the first eight?

↑ Imagine watching the "Cat in the bushes" scene in glorious high definition...

17,575 to be sure. Divisibility by five surely counts for something.

50 pence for a Robotech volume? But you could buy a kilogram of uncooked rice for that money, something far more agreeable!

17,569 By virtue of certain digits, my sources tell me that this is one of the nicer numbers.

↑ Are "anti-ghosting" keys for those concerned by occultic interference?

↑ No news as of yet, but I fear that those who wish to see it will have to be prepared to... ...shell out.

But that would double the near-palpable level of shyness, surely! What could possibly go wrong?

Hello to you! One must ask this: does the dancing that accompanies these records involve any acts of dodging? The description would be most understandable if so.