Fictional Olympic sports: Tokyo 2020/21


Now that the Tokyo 2020/21 Olympic Games are underway, anyone fancy a go at this? It's a game that a friend and I played with each other during the Rio 2016 Games.

The idea is simple: just come up with a daft idea for an Olympic event that doesn't currently (and most likely never will!) exist. You can give a description as well if you like, but that's entirely optional.

Here's three to start us off:
  • 800m amble
  • High-risk discus
  • Superjump (I guess with this one you have to hold down the B-button as you take your run-up or something, Mario-style 🎮)


200m Lolicon Dash
Manga artists have to run to their laptops and wipe the hard drive before the authorities seize them.

1200m Destined Encounter
Teenage girls run a course to school, and the first one to collide with their true love wins. Competitors are disqualified if the toast falls out of their mouth.

Power-up Endurance
Competitors grimace and yell to raise their power level. The last one to have an aneurysm wins.


Thousand Master
Shut up and Dance (but not with me, I'm the announcer!) - Contestants must dance without any noise escaping their mouths, while dodging rotten eggs and tomatoes thrown by an angry and overly demanding crowd who mistakenly believe this is an unusually amateurish episode of Strictly Come Dancing, and will jeer mockingly at you about the poor quality of the entertainment on offer, while they pelt you with the aforementioned perishables, and also possibly the odd Molotov cocktail should you be particularly unlucky.


State Alchemist
The Evangelethon

An individual sits on a folding chair in the centre of the stadium while a team of psychiatrists granted access to their personal and medical histories confronts them with uncomfortable truths about themselves over the loudspeakers in an attempt to mentally break them.

The psychiatrists are in fact the competitors from each nation, and the suggested individuals for them to demonstrate their skills on are their own country’s heads of state attending the games.


Train-Pervert Judo
A team of train perverts attempts to grope the butts of a team of martial artists wearing sailor suits. Perverts score points for every second they remain alive following a successful grope. The martial artists score points for every broken bone, dislocation, and dismemberment. Decapitation is an instant win.


State Alchemist
The Studio Ghibli Cup

Promising young animation directors must compete to produce a short animation in the style of Studio Ghibli, in order to prove they are good enough to take the reigns and allow Hayao Miyazaki to finally, actually retire.

Controversial due to the fact that every four years, Miyazaki comes out of retirement to enter the competition in addition to judging it, awards victory to himself, then declares he is retiring.


Another trio of mine from the vault:
  • Chessboarding (surfing or something... on a chessboard? 😅)
  • Tricycle slalom
  • Women's bathing (it's more of a spectator's sport, so I'm told)

Shadow Cat

Stand User
Magical Girl - Survival

Each participating country has 3 Magical Girls in their team, they must survive 1 day on an island while hunting other Magical Girls to earn points

Each Magical Girl gets:
1) Active Ability - Magical Girl Weapon
2) Dormant Ability - Good (Examples: Speed up, Flying)
3) Dormant Ability - Bad (Examples: Slow Down, Short Range)

When you kill a Magical girl with the same Dormant Ability as your own, you get that ability.

If you have Good active and you kill someone with a matching Bad ability. Then Bad overrides it and you loose the Good ability

Yes that means if you kill someone while flying... you could fall to your death


Tentacle weightlifting competition.
Whoever is able to lift the biggest and heaviest tentacle of a sex mad demon wins.

But they don't they lose and the demon gets to eat them feet first.